A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this girl that I really liked. We tried to have sex one night and it just didn't work. I just couldn't get aroused. I had been seeing her for only a couple of months and it wasn't really such a serious relationship but I really liked her a lot. A couple of days after our encounter she went out with a friend of mine and had sex with him. He is now my former friend. I am really not taking this well even though it's been a few months. I am still a virgin and I have met someone I really like a lot. I can't talk to anyone about this but I am actually scared to have sex. I'm afraid I will hurt her or that it won't work, or that I will come too soon. Well my new girlfriend really doesn't like my ex girlfriend and I really want to tell her what happened but she gets really mad and jealous when I have talked about her. The problem is that I really want to have sex with her but I'm not ready. I'm probably the only guy anyone has ever heard of that feels this way. should I tell her what happened? Should I tell her that I am still a virgin? I am probably the oldest living male virgin in America.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Bridget imagine, quiet echo, and bag lady. Thanks for your responses. I'm the guy that posted this anonymously. I am really shocked at some of the other responses. Very insensetive. I told her that I was a virgin and she is completely understanding.
A
female
reader, brigid.imagine  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 There is nothing wrong with not being ready to have sex. And there is no shame in being a virgin! I know lots of guys who haven't had sex yet- and their honesty and complete lack of shame is really amazing! It attracts the right kind of girls. if your girlfriend has serious feelings for you, she will wait until you're ready. But there's no rule saying you have to have sex! Certainly try some foreplay, but don't pressure yourself. You'll know when you're ready!
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A
female
reader, BagLady +, writes (4 March 2010):
Nope-not the only male virgin in the USA. You need to talk to your girl. Don't bring up your past too explicitly. You can just say that you get really stressed out, and you don't want to hurt her or not perform well enough.If she is truly loving and understanding, you should receive a compassionate response (if not...she may not be someone you want to open up to that way yet)You'll be fine...really it's like that for a lot of guys.
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A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (4 March 2010):
Why are you talking to your current girlfriend about your ex? I would totally leave that out of the picture. If you are not ready to have sex with your girlfriend... then that's an issue that you have to work out with HER. You just need to get to a point where you are READY to do it. I would suggest LOTS of foreplay - kissing, making out, fondling etc... before you actually get down to doing the deed. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, lovexlikewinter7 +, writes (4 March 2010):
male virgins to my friends and i are a rare commodity but a precious one. a girl that has the blessing of being with a male virgin is a lucky one. haha. personally i know many girls who prefer virgins because they're more involved in the emotional aspect over the sexual one.
if she's jealous of the girl, try to explain it more objectively. dont name names. assure her that you do want to take it slow and speak to her because you like her for her and you're concerned for this issue because you dont want it to interfere with your budding relationship and not from a sexual standpoint.
best of luck.
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