A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I really need some advice I've been dating this guy for 2 years. I fell in love with him everything amazing he was my first the sex amazing the bond pretty much everything I ever wanted but all of a sudden we started opening up and it really turns him on 2 think of me f****** other men he wants me to do it and send him pictures and tape it cause it's so sexy. I wanna think it's a fantasy but it's all he talks about I'm scared cause I think I deserve better he even got me a camera to tape it.
View related questions:
fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): Please take this from me. I started dating my BF at 19, fell in love all the good stuff. At 21, I was propositioned by an older guy, I was babysitting his kids while his wife was out and he tried to undress me. I told my boyfriend in tears about what had happened. And he made me repeat it 100x. He confessed he liked it and ever since, made me tell him these things about me and other men. Slowly, he started asking me to do things with other guys so I could tell him about it. I tried to leave him several times, but he got verbally abusively and killed my self esteem. Please stay away from him. I am now 34 and still in the same relationship and it is so much worse. He has no respect for me and calls me a cheater, whore and a liar. And he still wants to hear about me with other men. I have never done anything but I make things up, and because I make things up, I can't get the story right, so when I say it another night, and it is not the same, he gets angry, calling me a liar. I know it is my fault, I should not have stayed. But you can prevent this, no good comes from evil. I hope you have the strength to leave. I didn't. Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): From the sound of it, you both live apart and possibly a good distance?
When I hear people talking about 3-somes, video taping, getting it on with another guy while the guy watches, it makes me nervous that maybe the rubber band (brain cell) has snapped. I rarely hear these type of relationships work for any length of time. Trust issues arises, and everything falls apart, someone gets hurt either mentally or physically, and don't forget STD's. The more partners you have, the more likeliness that you can get cervical cancer. Though it sounds like a rush, having many new partners, the risk, mental, physical and emotional just doesn't seem worth it. If you know you were going to die soon, then I can see becoming restless and wreckless and getting all the pleasure before you go.
I would really suggest you think, ask about his motives.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Even though I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said, I think "Toasty" and "lazyguy" brought up one of the most important points. Regardless whether or not you'd feel comfortable doing this (and you're obviously not) you have to assume that at some point in time this tape can easily fall into the wrong hands and really mess things up for you.
-Jmo
...............................
A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (20 March 2008):
You do deserve better, you can get a better guy than that, you can fall in love more than once so what you feel (or have felt) about him can be again with someone who is much better for you, respects you and is willing to be exclusive for you and wants you to be the same for him.
His persistence sounds like maybe he is grooming you for other plans he may have such as getting you involved in the adult industry. Think of all the celebs who have had teenage indiscretions such as topless photos or videos revealed when they are famous. Think how it has affected their careers and personal life. You do not know what your future holds. One day you might be famous or married to someone famous and would not want stuff like this coming out then.
They say that the best way to avoid being blackmailed is to never do something you could be blackmailed for. If you ever give in and do this for him you will always be under the influence of him and whoever he gives a copy to, even after you have both moved on.
Sure people make mistakes, but only a fool would make one knowing in advance that it is a mistake and you do not strike me as a fool.
Show him the highway and get yourself one of the many good guys out there. You will be happier and need never worry about it again.
Best wishes.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): I really wouldn't do this. Tapes and pictures can fall into the wrong hands very easily. And with your third party keep his mouth shut? You can really never be sure. Say no and if he doesn't drop it, put your foot down. If he keeps going on about it, tell him to take a hike. Tell him you're sure that there are plenty of sluts out there to get that particular job done, and you're not one of them. Stand up and be proud baby! If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 ***Site might contain nude ads.
http://btjunkie.org/search?q=homemade
Now not all the links you see on that site are genuine, but a lot are. Willing to guess how many of them don't show the guys face?
Do NOT create any media unless you absolutly totally and completly control it unless you want to be shared over the entire internet. The above isn't even a porn site, it is just a filesharing site.
There are even sites that specialize in this
*** Sites not safe for work, nudes
http://www.exwifepicture.com/
http://www.platinum.ex-fax.com/
Found them in the first google search.
If that doesn't scare you out of making a tape, I don't know what will. How about the lovely label of camwhore?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging#Hot_Wife
That is his "fetish"(?), it is not uncommon BUT swinging and any subset of it is not for everyone.
Read the entire page, it gives a lot of insight and balanced too so you can see both the pro's and the con's.
Mind you, just because he is pro now doesn't mean he will remain so if he sees you enjoying the other men. It is one thing to share your GF, it is another to see her have the best sex of her life. Women, if your BF suggests bringing another men into the bedroom, test him by saying "Oh finally I can get a guy with a decent sized cock" or if he want a woman "Oh finally I can get someone who knows how to pleasure a woman and not have to fake it". That should cool him down soon enough.
Be very very wary of going into this. Oh what the fuck, GET AWAY FROM THIS FREAK! Your not even out of your teens and he wants to go swinging? What the hell will he ask when you are 40?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): How weird. You know, speaking of weird things, my bf once told me that if someone cheats on him, and tells him the sexual things that they did with the other person, that at first he will get turned on, but then later angry. (Weird, huh?)
Anyways, he would never get me to do it with other guys and tape it!!!!!!!
These are the kind of things that I am afraid of-someone finally showing their true colors AFTER some YEARS!!!!!!! I say it's too bad he took so long to show his real colors(giving you more time to become attached before he showed them), but now you have to get out! BECAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU DO, IN FACT, DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Hi there,
well this is a rather common fantasy with married men who are comfortable in their relationships and feel unthreatened by an outside party being intimate with their wife( i have to admit it is one of mine). But it is usually just fantasy and never comes to fruition, something that boosts the sex drive and makes lovemaking more exciting.
But at your age and with the fact that he has purchased a camera I think you should tell him to take a hike. I have never heard of guys in their early twenties wanting to share their girlfriends, I'm sorry to say but it looks like this is the tip of the iceberg with this guy, and I guarantee you if you let him take pictures or a video, that you two will not be the only ones who will see it.
Dont do it, dump him and move on. You are seeing his true colours now. Most creeps and control freaks are sweet as pie when they start dating their girlfrineds, but that all changes after a while , put it down to experience and get out.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bean317 +, writes (19 March 2008):
Is he a trust worthy guy. Normally when guys really care, they don't like to share. My first thought is maybe he wants to see if you'd really do it and then if you do he'll just get really angry, kind of like a trick to see how faithful you are. Or he is just a freak and should not continually ask you to do something you're not comfortable doing. If he can't respect you and leave the subject alone after you repeatedly tell him no, then he's not worth it. Don't let him pressure you
...............................
A
female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (19 March 2008):
 DO NOT DO IT!!! you are better than that. You definitely have morals, and you deserve a better guy. If he does date any of your girlfriends, warn them immediately so that they know what they are walking into. Also, be careful and watch yourself, and don't give into what your boyfriend wants.
...............................
A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Don't you dare do anything so awful! My ex-husband used to want to do that with me too; except him either watching or taping or he involved....2 women or me with another woman.
Its just not appropriate if you have morals.
That's a shame that he's asking/wanting you to do these things and you've been BF/GF for 2 years. I think it is time you move on AND if he's ever with one of your GF's down the road--warn them! That's just not normal.
My ex used to tape US or just me doing things I normally wouldn't do and then I found out he was seeing other women out of town and even in our hometown!!! After 26 years of weirdness, I was ready to move on. I burned all the DVD's and pictures before I left and he was ticked!@8&%
Too bad...I tried to warn his new ladyfriend and she won't listen...guess she'll have to learn the hard way, eh?
Watch out for yourself, honey and don't be badgered into doing something you don't feel good about or believe in.
Gena Bullock
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Well he is a jerk!! DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO AND DEFINITELY NOT HAVE IT TAPED!
...............................
|
