A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can anybody shed some light please...?I split with my boyfriend just over a week ago, I ended the relationship 'stupidly' due to my insecurities and trust issues, I love him and believe he loves me, he ignored all my attempts at making up with him and I realised I had to let go, we have spoken online past couple of days and have got along fine, trouble is I am very confused as before the break up he would be in constant contact daily and texted me constantly and now he does not reply to any of my texts, it feels very much as if I am being kept in limbo or maybe he is playing mindgames with me? How can a person go from being very attentive to nothing, he knows how much he means to me and I have asked him for closure one way or the other which he has not done, I just wish I could get a handle on where I stand with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): Well the problem is that you shouldn't break up with people if you don't really mean it. Same goes with anything. You shouldn't say things or do things that you don't really mean. I guess this is life's lesson to you right now. I have done stupid things like that before too. And I too had to learn the hard way. My advice to you is STICK BY YOUR WORD. If you broke up with him and even if you have a change of heart, you should ALWAYS let him be the one to contact you first. Never break up with someone and then change your mind about it and try to reconcile. Cause then he is just going to think you are a flake and that you are playing games and he is not going to take you seriously anymore. Guys always come back if they love you. No matter what. So I say just leave him alone and hang in there and be strong. He already knows that you are sorry. But he is still being unresponsive. So just leave him alone. Give him a week or two, he'll start calling. And when he does let him apologize FIRST. And from now on, mean what you say, so that you can always be ready for the consequences.
A
female
reader, cho +, writes (31 August 2007):
 He still loves you or else he would have said to you to leave him alone. So I think what you should do is stop running after him and wait until he comes to you. It is not worht getting worked up on because he is being and acting like a child. Good luck. :)
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A
male
reader, Escalaya  +, writes (31 August 2007):
 I was in a similar situation with my girlfriend. I would some days want to spend every moment with her, and some days I wouldn't. don't get me wrong, I love her with all of my heart, but sometimes I just want to be around other people. While he could very well be playing games, you letting your insecurities get the best of you could also be causing you to pass up a chance at true love. Part of loving, is learning to move on, when love is lost. Give it a chance, take a risk. If it's love, than congratulations. If it's not, than keep your head up high, and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): Well, "stupidly" or not, you broke up with him, citing your lack of trust and insecurities.He obviously cared a lot for you, and as others have said, must be very hurt by your action. I would think he is also leery of getting back with someone who ends it one minute and then wants him back the next. He might think he wouldn't know where HE stands if he made up with you!You have to take responsibility for your decision, you know.No use complaining that he won't take you back and won't contact you! What else would you expect, if you were in his place?
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A
female
reader, lillaum +, writes (31 August 2007):
 It sounds like either his pride got hurt or somthing along those lines, and is just playing hard to get, or he is just as confused as you are. Put yourself in his position. I mean he could have written the question his self. One minute you end the relationship and the next you are wanting him again. Maybe try explaining how you felt before you broke up and why you chose to end it. It may clear some of the confusion he may be feeling. Also maybe you should try and work on your insecurities and trust issues. No one wants to be in an unstable relationship. You need to show him that you feel you made a mistake and you are working on not letting it happen again.
I hope this helps,
Lillaum xx
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A
female
reader, cheerycharlie +, writes (31 August 2007):
 hya, maybe he thinks you are playing mind games with him if you ended it and ignored the chances, i have had a similar situation before. he may not be replyin to his txts because he is sick of waiting for you and thinks you are messing him around, the chances are he still thinks ur attractive but realized hed pefure being mates 4 a bit. dont txt him to often as it cud be irritating and he will get put off you alltogether, let it die down for a bit.
when you say u talk on line and your fine... do you talk the same as you did before the break up or more friendly. because if it has changed his feelings probly changed aswell
all the best xXxXx
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (31 August 2007):
 You have hurt him deeply. I dont think you realise what you have actually done to this guy that you want him to respond to your needs after breaking up with him. He obviously cared for you a great deal. He went from being very attentive to nothing for a very specific reason. He doesn't want to be hurt again.
You may want closure but you have to understand that this situation was your doing and this is how he is dealing with it. You are just going to have to wait for this closure you seek because right now this man is like a wounded animal and is shying away and hiding itself.
Give him space and time and later he may be more open to what you say to him. At the minute he is angry at you and can only see hurt.
Best of luck
HonningKanin
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