A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found out off a work colleague of my husband's that he and his friends at work have been raising money for a non-existent employee who has lung cancer in order to fund a trip to Las Vegas to see showgirls and prostitutes. The "colleague" was actually a manager of his, he said he'd overheard him and his friends laughing about "a ridiculously funny scam!"I contributed to the fund, not knowing what it was about until the revelation came out.Now my husband's away on business - I tried contacting him, but his mobile was switched off.I feel like I can't trust him any more - how should I discuss this issue with him??Isn't what he's done fraud??All your advice is much appreciated
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female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (12 July 2007):
Are you 100% certain that this is the truth? If and when you are certain, you need to tell. But regardless of that, get some legal advice now about where you stand. I have no idea what the laws are in your country, but as you are married to someone who is involved, it might be very important for you to deal with this in a certain way in order to prove that you are also an innocent dupe and not a party to it. Do this today. I am so sorry for you, as this must be a terrible shock. I would find out from a trusted friend if you might be able to stay with them, because when this comes out, I would imagine that relations between you and your husband will be pretty sour. You don't need to tell your friend the actual reason unless you want to of course. Morally, your husband should be the one to move out, but I am thinking of you having the security of knowing you can get out without delay if you need to. Best of luck with this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): May I ask what you think about him for actually getting involved in something like this? Legal or not, fraud or not - it is ethically a disgrace and if he can rip people off like that I wonder what he would do for similar kicks to you and other family members. It is poisonous and, good advice from the other posts, that I would be going all out to ensure your name is not dragged down too. As you know the truth be brave and speak it to those that will bring this ugly and selfish scam to an end. You will be able to hold you head up high - knowing the difference between right and wrong. It will be them that cannot sleep at night for their dreadful behaviour. Get rid of him - its not something to forgive and forget.
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A
female
reader, SleepingChrissie +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Not to scare you, but in certain states what the husband does the wife can be held responsible. So if I were you I would be checking into how this will affect you.
I know someone whose husband did the same thing while they were separated, living in two separate states, now she is being harassed to pay his debt because they were married at the time.
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Tell him about what you know AND send a letter to the company's human resources telling them about this scam. Do it anonymously if you desire. Your husband may even be the one to come clean now that their criminal secret it out.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Hi there hun,
Yes, this is fraud but what angers me are all the innocent people who have put in their hard earned cash thinking they were contributing to a good cause to some poor person who has lung cancer, how cruel is that?
Your husband needs to be told how under handed this is as well as the implications that could evolve if the Police get invovled...
You need to tell him just how it is and that you are now going to find it hard to trust him as he has betrayed not only your trust but those he has stolen money on false pretences too......
Good luck babes
Love Donna x
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (12 July 2007):
 This most certainly IS fraud and your husband and all those involved will be charged if they are ever found out about this!!!! I would tell him to pull out NOW!
Eve
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (11 July 2007):
 First of all you should tell your husband to stop what he is doing as it is very illegal and to give all the money back or at least to a real cancer charity.Hopefully he will but if he doesnt you may have to go as far as the police as he has taken hard working people money for his own selfish means and this is very wrong and very illegalMake him return the money or he could go to jail.
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