A
female
age
36-40,
*l9356
writes:Back in high school I had this crush on one of my teachers. I had him as a teacher for 2 years. I tried not to think to much of it but I became really close with him. I found myself taking 3 periods of his classes just to be with him. I never thought anything would come of it, just a fun 3 hours to help me get through the day I guess.Within these 2 years we became very close. He would call me "hun", "doll", and "darlin" and tell me i'm to pretty to be smoking. Just little things like that that made me fall even harder for him. He had his girlfriends throughout this time and I had my boyfriends. But we were still good friends through it all, keeping in touch through the summers, he would change my oil and work on my car. Once I graduated we would talk every once in awhile. A call here and there or a text to see how each other was doing. This past August I moved to a different state, 600 miles away. About 4 or 5 months ago he had texted me seeing how I was. We talked for the entire day. He told me how he had this girlfriend and she was into everything he was. I told him I was happy for him.... obviously, how couldn't I. He also told me that he didn't teach at the school anymore.About a month later we talked again. He told me how he had broken up with his girlfriend, and that when I came home for Christmas he wanted to take me fishing. It never worked out but we continued to stay in touch. Through out all of this he would drop comments and compliments that made me think he might want something more. So I would also throw in little hints.To make a long story short we have now been talking almost everyday. Im 20 years old, he is 27. He tells me he wants more than just a one night thing. I just dont know if it is going to work with me living so far away. I mean I want it to, and I know I could do it, but I don't know if he is just doing this to "get some" when I come back home. I really really really don't think he is that type of person, and I do know him well, but I just want to make sure Im not setting myself up for something bad. And is it a bad situation all together? He's not THAT much older and he doesn't teach anymore, but he does still hang out with some of the teachers from the school. I just am a little confused about all of it. I know when I go home it will work itself out but should I go see him when I'm home? I really like him and want it to work. Please help?!
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christmas, crush, my ex, my teacher, period, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Hey there,I'm sure you know this man better then any of us-so it's hard to give you our complete opinion, when we don't have a proper one.But from what you've said, he sounds like a decent guy, although he was your teacher, he isn't any more-and if you have feelings for him, he feels the same-then take a chance...Try it, if you don't feel anything then end it- if you don't try it now, you may never know, or you could lose something that might be the best thing to happen to you in your life.Do what you want to do though, and be careful-i'm sure you'll make the right decision.
A
female
reader, mervy +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I think that if he was trying to "get some", he would have given up after such a long time - however you're right, you should still be careful. Because he was once your teacher, he's still got a bit of that psychological power over you, he's still in a position of authority, and you've got to bear that in mind. Saying that, it's not unheard of for former teachers and students to go out and be perfectly happy together! As for the distance, like any relationship it's going to take its toll. But if you want to go for it, I say go for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): That's sweet because i'm so tired of hearing about the highschool students who actually do stuff with their teachers.. Any guy who would put up with a long distance relationship just to "get some" a few days out of the year is insane.. i've never heard of that. Those types of guys would be found hitting on girls in other places, like bars.. not other states. Lying to keep up an image and make yourself seem like a whole different person would be exhausting, wouldn't it? Also, I think that if after you graduated and everything was legal and he was working on your car and still didn't try to "get some," then that's not a goal he's had in mind. Open up your heart a little.. and trust it. It's the best thing you have going for you. The heart and the mind often conflict but think about which has led you in the right direction thus far. If something is meant to happen, then it will happen. If this is something that's meant to last, then you'll know. If this is something That's really going to get you hurt in the end, then at least you'll be a little stronger and learn a few lessons for next time. And don't have sez with him until you feel completely comfortable.. hold him off for a while and if he sticks around patiently and doesn't get mad at you, then I don't see the harm in trying the long distance relationship. I guess what i'm saying is go for it.. take the risk. Otherwise.. you know you'll be wondering for a very, very long time.
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A
female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Hey...i could totally relate to you about the teacher thing. I had such a crush on my teacher who was only 8 years older than me and i kept in touch with him for a little over a year afterwards but i think he got in trouble at school for being too personal with students and he became very distant from me even though he couldnt get in trouble for just talking to me when i dont even go there. But in your situation, i would totally say thats fine especially cuz he doesnt work there anymore and he is not that much older than you. BUT, the fact that you live far away is a big issue. I dont see how it would work as a solid relationship if you dont see each other that much and if u go back and end up sleeping with him whenever your home, your going to get hurt. I understand how hard it must be because you like him so much. But my advice is if you live over an hour away, it wouldn't work. I personally don't believe in long distance relationships and you don't want to be just a booty call when you come home.
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