A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel confused and very very jealous and the sad part is I never consider me the jealous type. This feeling of insecurity happened a few months ago when a couple of picutres were tagged on my facebook by a friend that they thought were a little inappropriate of my husband and my sister. I saw the pictures and I didn't like what I saw but my husband said it was the angle of the pictures that made them look bad, I didn't buy it but I left it alone. My sister is dealing with her own drama going through a divorce and unexpectedly she came to stay in my house. She is my sister so I didn't turn her away. I had a birthday and my family was over my house, but I felt tired a little bit after midnight so I called it a night and went to bed. I told my husband that I was going to bed but he decided not to join me, I had other family members there and I was tired so I went to bed. I have a very heavy sleep so deep that an 10.0 earthquake will not wake me up if it shooked in the middle of the night. When I woke up in the morning my husband was not in bed and my sister was not home! So I'm in bed waiting and he finaly gets home and what is my surprise, that they both walked in together when I asked where was he, he claimed he had to take her to the train station to catch the train so that she can go to work but she missed the train and she had to come back home. May I add that my husband is in vacation this week. My question is am I letting my mind overeact to this whole situation or do I have valid reasons to feel jealous? Can all this mess be a plain misunderstanding built on to many coincidence?
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female
reader, dietcoke.1  +, writes (25 February 2011):
I know this sounds horrible but why dont you guilt them into the truth ! its the best way to do it without falling out with your sister and husband , you could start with your sister just saying how much you miss him being at work all the time and how much you love him . shes your sister so she should feel bad and tempted to come clean if they where having an afair!
But you have to bare in mind that this is your sister, not many sisters would do that to there family very harsh if they did, it would cause so much trouble and rifts. If shes going through a bad time in her life its unlikely she will want to create more chaos :S
But if you are unsure you should find out ! even if that means saying to your husband that you dont like the amount of time hes spending on your sister when it should be spent on you
Good luck, hope it goes well :)
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 This could be a whole lotta nuthin or a whole lotta sumthin' The bottom line to me is it's one thing to help someone, which is the honorable thing to do. It's another thing to be 'used and abused'. I would tell this woman she needs to find another place to live as soon as possible. This living arrangement is just not good.
"House guests, like fish, begin to smell after 3 days." -- Benjamin Franklin
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe came to my house with her bags without even a call because of bad situation going on in her personal life. My husband and I took her I don't think this will be a long stay but a temp.
What makes it wierd to me was the fact that they were both gone even if he came back with a valid reason. The fact that I work the kids go to school and him being in vacation seem like a perfect excuse for her to miss the her train. That means they were going to be alone all day long! I might be confusing thing and jumping into conclusion but this just makes me feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for time!
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A
female
reader, Snowe  +, writes (23 February 2011):
Why is your sister living with you? Tell her she needs to get her own place or move in with other family. Then, you will be free to start working on your marriage and the jealousy factor will not be an issue...unless there is something going on with them??? Why is your husband not opposed to her living at your house?
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A
female
reader, TeaLady +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Sounds a little fishy to me also, keep investigating and listen to your inner voice.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (22 February 2011):
"My question is am I letting my mind overeact to this whole situation or do I have valid reasons to feel jealous?" I do not think you are over reacting. You have a valid reason to know the truth.
It's your birthday and your husband doesn't go to be with you and you wake up the next morning and he's not in bed with you. It's your birthday. These are red flags.
What is your your sister and your husband's pattern of past behavior? Have either one of them ever cheated or been promiscuous before marriage or before being in a committed relationship? I would look at past behaviors as a way to predict future behavior.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): You had an instinct that you need to be aware of. Just be watchful and check his phone. It may be nothing.
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