A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know when to say "I love you" to her...but there is more to it...To fully understand I need you to give the full story. last month I began dating one of my old best friend whom I have very deep history with. I've known her since the 7th grade (in college now) but been in love with her ever since my senior year of high school. Dream come true right? well, not exactly. In the past I was always in the friend zone with her, I have watched her countless times be in relationships, majority of them with douche bags and one time with my best friend and all pained me but all I ever wanted and still do want, is for her to be happy. anyway, senior year when she lived out of state I told her that I loved her and back then, she was never known to give a straight answer, all I ever got was a "idk" and the very next day she gets in a relationship with some other guy. fair to say, I was pissed beyond belief, telling her how i felt and then the very next day she's with someone? few days later I calmed down and even tho i hated it, I told her that all I ever wanted was for her to be happy, and let her do what she wants.. few months later, they break up and she moves back over to where I am, and we go back to being friends, which I was ok with..fast foward after graduation I attend a 2 year school and she is off to a 4 year, and meets another guy and actually falls in love, and moves in with him. hurt at first, but after not seeing her after graduation I dealt with it quickly. they are together for two years and only 2 months ago they break up and not in the best terms. early December (before i knew of their break up) we start talking again and we decide to meet up and hang out again. thinking the feelings weren't there anymore I agreed, just a dinner and a movie. however wants I opened her car door and say her face all the feelings i ever had for her came flooding back. the hang out eventually became labeled as a date and we decide to do it again later on..2nd date we kissed for the first time (amazing) and the rest of the date went great. on the way home she tells me how she wants to take things slow and after her very brutal break up with her ex I completely understood, last thing I want to do is rush things. however time is finally taking it's toll on me. we have been dating for 2 months and It absolutely pains me to death that I can't tell her how much I love her, 5 years I've been in love with her and I am so close, yet so very far..she says she doesn't want anything serious, but the thing is, I do..with her, and only her. and I fear if I say anything I will drive her away...i guess my question is...what the hell do I do? I actually had a spazz out last night over what to do. I can't lose her again, sure my life will move on, but I can't see myself with anyone but her.oh and she already made it crystal clear that she is NOT in love with her ex anymore. she actually kinda hates him now
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (23 February 2011):
I'm so sorry but I don't see a good future for your relationship. I hope I'm wrong. But she is dating you just after a huge break up, which isn't a good idea. And this is not the first time you tell her you love her. She already knew, in fact she dated another guy the first time you told her that.
At least do as you were told and take it VERY SLOW. I mean, don't put too much hope in this.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 If you ask me, you're on thin ice from the word go here...
Its hard to know what she's thinking, but I can tell you this much. TAKE THINGS SLOW!! Repress the need to say "I love you" or escalate the relationship... seriously, if I were you, I wouldn't say it to her until she's said it to you first.
Its a delicate situation and you've got (potentially, but not guaranteed) the rare chance at exiting the friend zone. Do NOT push her to become serious as that is how you will lose her. However, realize that you're gambling with your own feelings here... You may as well put it all on red at casino roulette.
I hope it works out for you dude, but keep it laid back and as casual as possible. Try not to become possessive, controlling or jealous... let her keep her independence and if you have any knowledge of what she values most in a relationship, now is the time to make use of that knowledge.
Yes, it sounds somewhat devious, but if this girl means that much to you, I know you'll want to give it your best shot.
Good-luck bro!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): sorry for the poor grammar and misspelling, I was trying to get everything in.
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A
female
reader, sophisticated08 +, writes (22 February 2011):
 even though you like her alot and now claim to be in love with her i think that you should take it slow.. its obvious that she likes you i mean she kissed you and said she just wanted to take things slow.. i mean she just got out of a relationship she is still hurting from it .. just let her heal from that and then see where it goes from there...
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