A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I've been seeing this girl recently who I really like and who really like me back. We are in a semi-serious relationship in which we are pretty devoted to eachother but not entirely yet. I'm finding out increasingly that we may not be the best fit; we have very little in common and different interests. She loves the nightclubs and dancing all night, and I hate the club scene. It think it's pretentious and superficial. Anyway, she took me out the other night to a few nightclubs and bars. We both got pretty drunk, but I can hold my liquor a bit better so I was'nt quite as wasted as she. Most of the night she spent dancing with other guys. The place was a total sausage-fest, so I only danced with 2 other girls the whole night. She would always come back and look for me after a few songs though. And when I say she was dancing with these other guys, I mean she was REALLY dancing with these other guys. She was probably the freakiest one on the dance floor. Then I practically got my ass kicked trying to get these two guys to leave who were on the verge of gang banging her in the back of the club. She was telling them "no, sorry" but her body language was to the contrary. She was drunk, but not that drunk. Long story short, she danced with ALOT of other guys and only a few times with me. She claims not to remember anything and I partially believe her. I don't got to clubs alot because I hate them (for this reason) so I don't know if that is normal. What's up with this girl? Is she a total slut or is she just pathetically deseprate for everyone's attention? Or is that normal at a club??
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female
reader, Ms.Helper  +, writes (10 May 2009):
 She sounds like a slut, but, she could just be craving and wanting the attention. Do you give her enough attention? Tell her you fancy her etc? If not, that's probably why she's going to other men, because they prove they like her in that way and want 'something' from her. If you do give her attention in that way then I feel sorry for you, as I understand you'll find it insulting that's she's basically taking you for granted and ignoring the compliments you give her.Why don't you ask her why she's doing it? and if there's anything you can do about it. Although other agony aunts think she's just a slag, it could be wrong. She might just be insecure and want attention from other people to make herself feel better, but she's obviously attracting the wrong men along the way.x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): Hey well.. agony aunts know best!
Sorry for the hurt she inflicted on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYep. Turns out she is a total slut.
I've been out of town for a few days (still am right now infact). She was bored last night and mad about a rough day at work so she said she was going to a party and then hanging out this guy I'm not particularly fond of. Her best friend called me at 7am this morning looking for her. She disappeared last night and no one's seen or heard from her since. I've been texting and calling her for the past hour. She finally called me back and said she did'nt know where she was and that she could'nt talk right now. Then I hear another guy's voice in the background and she says "I gotta go now".
After talking to her friend, I'm almost 100% positive that she slept with this guy.
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A
male
reader, appliance  +, writes (23 April 2009):
Well, I don't like to qualify people as "sluts". She does what she wants. If you're with her only for sex and you don't mind if she has sex with other people, take advantage of the situation. But if it's a more serious relationship or an exclusive relationship you are looking for, she's definitely not "there" in her life right now and I strongly suggest to look for somebody else.
Being with a girl only for sex and because she's hot is not a thing you should be ashamed of... as long as you understand what you're there for and that it won't develop to anything else.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Lee__uk +, writes (21 April 2009):
I had the same problem, when we were out at paries ect she would disappear for ages then after half an hour flirting with guys she would come looking for me, most of the time because she needed another drink,
I filmed her one night when she was totally wasted in a club with her tongue down several guys throats, i showed her the vid the next day and she cried and promised never to drink so much again.
It's not so much of her being a slut it's more of her not being able to handle her drink.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Take my word...you will be doing yourself a favour if you leave now then later....as by that time you might totally be tormented by her behaviour...there are two types of hot women...one who knows she is hot and take advantage of it and the other one who knows she is hot but keep her modesty....don't be fooled by the usual liqour excuse...she knows very well what she has been doing...
By the way just out of curiosity what is "sausage fest"...excuse my poor knowledge.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I'm not gonna lie though, it's gonna be tough letting this one go. -She's so freaking hot! I know that's shallow, but she really is. And it's hard to let someone go that you care about, even when you do find out that they're not exactly who you thought they were.
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A
male
reader, boredinarizona +, writes (20 April 2009):
RUN now! Girls like that are usually extremely insecure and always need the attention of other men. If you are not willing to deal with that then get out while you can.
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A
female
reader, Miss Karma Louise +, writes (20 April 2009):
her actions towards other guys in the club are not entirly apropriate,especially as shes in a realtionship.
and no affence she proberly did go further with those guys.
i have many mates like that. in a serious realtionship and when we go out we get drunk as we do and they'r having sex with god knows who!
to be honest i think you sound like a gentle + decent man and you deserve someone who treats you rite.
and Respects you,she so should have been dancing with you!
thers no harm in fun! but theres a line at the end of the day and she sounds as if she crossed it by a mile.
good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Well, i certainly won't call anyone a slut or an attention whore, but there does appear to be a strong difference in what you each value and where your level of morals are. You will be much happier with a girl who will want to enjoy the same sort of evening that you enjoy. I hate going to clubs for instance, as does my husband. well.. he's never been, but it's not his type of activity.
Find someone with the same boundries that you have and you will be able to make each other happier on so many different levels.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (20 April 2009):
 I wouldn't say a slut, but I would say her behavior while in a relationship was not appropriate. You said she likes the night club scene, so she must also know her limits. If not, she needs to learn them before there is a gang bang, and you're not there to help her out of that situation.
I know how alcohol affects me. I also know how much it takes before I end up in the mood for whoever, even if I might be a bit scared in the morning. So, I stay under that limit. It's okay to go out and have fun, but it's not okay when with a partner to have inappropriate fun with others. This bothered you, and may not have bothered her, but it's the respect for who you're with that needs to be maintained.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (20 April 2009):
 She is a total slut! Leave her now! Imagine what she's like in the club when you aren't there! No way can you trust her! X
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