A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice and my story might be a little long so please bear with me. I have fallen for a guy who is a regular customer at the store where I work. The problem is there is quite a big age difference between us. Iam almost 21 and he is 38. He used to come in the store all the time and he always talked to me, I thought he was a real nice guy and really sexy for his age, or any age. Anyway he started coming into the store a lot and I thought it was just because he liked the store but then I noticed he started to talk to me a lot and flirt with me to. We got to know each other. I found myself flirting back with him and soon i started falling for him. I knew I had really fallen when one day he came in and i was not in a very good mood because a friend of mine had passed away earlier in the week. He was very nice and sympathetic towards me, he even gave me his number in case I needed someone to talk to. A few days later I called him. We really hit it off and ended up talking for hours. We had really got along, and became good friends. I thought he was truly amazing guy and I had fallen head over heels. We have been friends for a few months now and just several days ago i confessed my feelings to him. He told me he felt the same way about me but he was worried about the age difference. He was worried what people would say or think about me or if my family would accept us. He was also worried we would not be compatible, not have enough in common, or he would he would not be able to please me sexually. I told him that none of that stuff concerned or bothered me but he is still hesitant, which leads me to wonder, is our age difference to big? Could a realtionship really work between us?Should I go for him or forget about him?
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female
reader, chiclet +, writes (26 February 2009):
I am 22 and my boyfriend is 40. i was only 19 when i met him and i sought after him. we started out as friends who worked together and now we live together and have been together for 3 years, we are in love and have a great realationship. My family accepts him and is nice about it, i lost a few friends who didn't approve of him, and i let them go because i love him more. he is a great man and i wouldn't trade him in fora younger guy ever!!! my last boyfriend was only 2 years older than me and he cheated and lied and broke my heart. My boyfriend now has never cheated and never lied, and yes i've tried to catch him, but he isn't like that, he loves me and pleases me very well!! older guys do it better and i don't care wat anyone has to say about it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): I think it could probably work just fine. Right now.But there are a lot of women out there who used to be in your situation and are getting dissatisfied now. They are 34 or 37 and married to a guy who is 10 or 20 years older. Now they're complaining that the romance is really going. They're at the peak of their lifetime sexual urges now, and they're yoked to a guy who was sexy when they hooked up years ago but now he's really getting beyond his youth and vigor while they are not. And the women are starting to feel like straying.
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A
female
reader, Kodgypie  +, writes (11 February 2008):
my mum has been happily married to a guy 20year younger than her for 13 years ... sometimes it works and of course sometimes it doesn't. I suggest you trust your heart and not a number.
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (11 February 2008):
It takes more than being of similar age to make a good relationship. If all the other elements are there then go for it - providing he is willing to give it a good go and stop worrying about the age gap.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (10 February 2008):
It could work, but it may not. I have no doubt in my mind that you and him could get along very well and perhaps even fall in love. But it does take more then love to make a relationship to work. Just some things to think about, if you two did get serious:
You are both in different stages of your life. You are young, he is older. He may be wanting to get married soon where as you may not. He may want children soon, and you may not just yet. Or maybe he doesnt want any children if he already has some (?). So you may not be compatiable in those aspects.
However, I think that if you really like him and he likes you, give it a go, if you dont, you will always wonder what if. Those issues are all thigns that could be worked out. Maybe he would feel more comfortable if you could talk about all the possible issus you two may face as a couple and talk about possible solutions. Hope this has heped.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): I have never had a problem with age gaps, but i know some people who have. My best friend is married, and has been for 10 years now and the age gap is 21 years, they love each other and that is all that matters. Go out with him on a date and get to know him, if it doesnt work out then what have you got to lose? Nothing, take the risk, why not, life is too short and he could turn out to be your Mr Right.
take care and have a brill life.
xx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (10 February 2008):
 Age is only a number.
If you two are really great for each other there's nothing wrong with it, and if your family are caring enough then I'm sure they will accept it because you are happy.
As for other people who see it - Who gives a crap what they think?
If you're happy, who are they to judge? If they do say something, it's only coz they're jealous that they haven't got someone who treats them with respect and genuinely cares about them!
Don't let what other people think get in the way of your happiness sweet!
You wanna date him, you go date him! I'm 17 and I'm in a very happy relationship with someone who's quite a bit older than me. And my family and friends are just happy that I'm happy, if your friends don't like it because of something so insignificant like AGE, then they arn't your friends at all! They should be happy for you.
Go for it!!!
Take care :) xx
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 February 2008):
 Oh yeah, some additional thoughts on whether an older man can please a much younger woman. Yes, it can be done nicely with oral stimulation, woman-on-top and other positions, abundant foreplay and a few other things we older guys often know about. As long as he is creative and open to learning, this is just not a problem. If he continues to stress these doubts, then maybe there could be reason for concern, but at this guy's age, satisfying a younger gal is very doable.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 February 2008):
There are no rules in love. Of course, I readily admit that I'm an old man now (comparatively) and may be very bias, but my first girlfriend after a divorce was about half my age. Didn't matter to her, and certainly not to me. Other much younger women followed over the past few years.
Now more truth - these affairs passed, but very amicably. We still get in touch but they after went on to match up with guys more their age, but our love was good and real as it lasted. So maybe an affair with this older man may not last the ages, but if it is good for both of you, why not enjoy? Give it a chance.
He may give you the deepest, most caring love you will experience in your life. And his maturity may nurture you in many ways, which would be rare from younger men.
Let's note that many older women are hooking up with young studs these days, ostensibly for just a good you know what - so why can't a young lady enjoy the greater worth of an experienced and likely more appreciative man?
You are young, you have little or nothing to lose here - enjoy his affection.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 February 2008):
 This is a decision that has to be made between you two. Love doesn't cary boundaries. You can't help who that special someone is. I don't think with the attraction you have for eachother the age difference is too large. You're both adults. You both know what the feelings are without much confusion. I'd say, if it feels right, do it. I'd much rather take a chance on something that feels right, and find out I was wrong than to not take a chance and always wonder.
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