A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi, me and my husband have been together for 3 years and out of these 3 years, we have fought. for the first two years he admitted to missing his ex. Now they were together almost nine years, and had four kids, so there's a background. he said that she knew him better than anyone,even me, he even said that i wasn't his friend, and she was. She hasn't been in his life for two and a half years. two kids later working on our 4th year were still together. He says that he's over her now and loves me, or else he wouldn't be with me. am i wrong for staying with him and trying to make this work, since we've been through so much already, or is it okay? What would you do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): I think that your past shouldn't control your future, and in this situation, I think this goes. Now, he's saying that he's over her and loves you, so surely now is the time that you're most wanting to be with him? I would have thought that you would have been wondering whether to break it up when he was saying he wasn't over his ex.
Maybe he rushed into a relationship with you, I'm not sure, but this could have caused him to miss his ex, if everything was done too soon. But the main thing now is that he loves you, and you love him, and you've gone through so much together. In my opinion, you should stay together and make an extra effort to be his friend, and listen to him, and get to know him more and more. You can never know somebody enough - treat him on valentine's day, be as nice as you can to him, ask him how his day's gone and show him you're generally interested. Keep a good sex life. All of these things will bring you closer, and keep your marriage strong. So for now, concentrate on the future and not on the past! He's over his ex, he's in love with you, and this is what matters! Good luck :]
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