A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I at the crossroads where I try to decide whether my girlfriend is marriage material. I have issues with her past and I don't know whether I get over it. She used to go to orgies and swingers parties with her ex-boyfriend and have threesomes with random men from internet. Problem is, she refused to admit that there's anything wrong with it. She said as long as you not hurting anyone, it's okay. And said whats with the double standard where guys who have sex with many girls are studs while girls who do the same are sluts. She has issues if I bring it up. She never said it was wrong. I try to get over it. I feel though that she has a lot of pride and is just denying that anythings wrong but deep down she feels guilty and bad about her past. I love this girl to death. I crazy about her. I just don't know wheter I get over it. Not sure whether she worth it. Dont know whether because she refuse to talk or say anything wrong about it. Also I think before she was crazy about sex. Now, not anymore. She got std and surgery afterwards. Now she dry. Sex is painful and she no longer like before like where she asked he pimp to fuck her a lot. She going back to school. Instead of going to school where I am, she decide to go to some school 4 hours away by car. Now, I get to think about how many guy she fucked, sucked, everyday. Am I messed up to not get over it? What would you do?
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male
reader, Pyroshadow +, writes (11 August 2009):
YOur not messed up.
I am in in a very similar situation.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-her-promicuous-past-including.html
If you want to see who has it worst .
Anyways. I understand what you are going though. Its very hard. Its like you are hurting yourself and her so much. You seen her cry and get upset when you bring it up and keep bring it it up.... but you just want to know more. But the more you know the more it hurts and the more it hurt the less you want to do with her. But you love her so much that is nothing you want to do more then just be with her.
I think I can relate a little more since I am going though it now.
You have to sit down away from her. Take some real time and think about it. Think about everything she done yeah you will cry. I wont lie. It sucks.
After you though about it so much you really cant think of anything else and you think you know everything, then the hard part comes.
Remember all that amazing things about her? The reaons why you love her.... are those enough.... enough for you to deal with that suffering you just put yourself though?
If you think its too much for you to deal with, try to picture your life without her. After thinking about your life without her, do you think right away "HA! we wouldnt last more then a week without breaking down and asking to try again."
Maybe you just need a break to sort out your feelings. A break when you and her agree not to see other people but see less of each other and if its ment to be you will naturally just draw back to each other.
A
male
reader, MBaachman +, writes (27 July 2009):
Your girlfriend is absolutely right. There is nothing wrong with her behavior. And its true that because it didn’t hurt anyone, you have no right to judge her. And kudos to her for not being ashamed of it. She sounds very grounded and knows what she wants and likes. I honestly commend her.
So the decision is yours. You can imagine your first born son entering the world through a womb that has seen more traffic than the Denver airport just to be kissed by lips that have been wrapped around all those cocks, or you can go find a woman who shares your values.
Either way, give her my number. She sounds like fun.
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (18 July 2009):
It is up to you if you can get over something she did in the PAST before she met you. If you can and are happy with who she is, then I wish you the best. If you can NOT, then move on now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): You need to leave her.
It's not because you "can't get over your insecurities with about past." It's because she has a very different value system than you do.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 July 2009):
 It is very clear that the real problem is the fact that you can't get over the fact that she has slept with many men and has had many an adventure. To be honest, many men wouldn't. I guess it is wiser that you go your separate ways.
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