A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a much younger girl for 6 months now (im coming on 27,she is 17) She is a great girl,she is understanding and caring.My problem is,she has met most of my family and friends on a number of occasions and each time she will just sit and say nothing,even when spoken to.She gets very quiet and wont even make eye contact with anyone and hardly even talks to ME when others are around.I've asked her why she is like this and the only answer i can get is "ive always been like that with people" its starting to really get to me,it feels as if she is making zero effort.I'm wondering if she is simply too young and I should date someone my own age. Please help! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, fuglyone  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 Uh, look...nothing wrong with being with a chick who's that much younger than you, but she is a girl who needs to learn herself and who she is, being in a "relationship" does not allow her to explore herself. If you can do this and remain friends, you might find a wonderful woman waiting for you when she has had time to find out who she wants to be and actually does it.
A
female
reader, irishgirlm  +, writes (17 April 2009):
 My boyfriends 6 years older then me and im always quite and shy i mean put yourself in her shoes ? all she's trying to do is keep her mouth shut so nothing bad or stupid can come out. try to include her more in convo ie lik when your talking to say your mum about tv just be like what do you think about it? and stuff like that to build confidence!
hope this helps :D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): DON'T leave her if you love each other.
It's brilliant that you're together, it doesn't matter about how old you are.
This really bugs me because I'm a girl, completely in love with a guy 15 years older than me. And painfully shy.
I'd be exactly the same around his family, and it hasn't got anything to do with making no effort. I try SO hard, and I always end up looking stupid, especially if I want someone to like me. So I don't speak. And it's better like that!
I start talking when I get to know people better. I'm sure she will too.
And if he left me because of that, blaming it on age (which has nothing to do with it) I'd be heartbroken.
If you're even considering leaving her for something so stupid, she deserves someone better anyway.
DON'T DO IT!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): She might just be shy, and will get more outgoing as she gets to know other people. But honestly.... I think she might be a bit too young for you.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (16 April 2009):
 to be honest yeah i think you should date someone your own age i mean your alot older than her and she probably feels weird being around your family.i mean she's obviously still going to be shy she's still in school.but she's not grown into herself yet a girl more your age would be better because they'd be more confident you know seen the real world know what its all about and won't feel so uncomfortable around your familyshe may actually be feeling weird about the age thing herself and get paranoid about what your family perhaps is thinking of her?
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A
female
reader, jellybeans +, writes (16 April 2009):
I am an out going person but when I was younger I used to be quiet and shy. It think it takes time for people to grow up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): it's not a case of age, im like that (not as bad as i used to be though). people used to think i was ignorant but i'm not, it's a social phobia. it takes me a WHILE to feel comfy around people. just supposrt her, although she does have to make a bit of an effort..but maybe even meeting them and going out in social situations are a step for her
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