A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidI am in LDR with my bf for past few months. I stay in a different country cause of work. I traveled 2 weeks before to my place to visit my parents and my bf. We had a very good time. He asked me to buy him few stuff from here, which i did and he was happy. On the day of my departure my bf never called me or texted me. I called him but he never picked up the call, i called him even from the airport.Am i expecting too much from him? Is this a normal behavior or did he just use me? Please help me
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male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (13 August 2012):
 Well there you have it, OP. He gave you his answer when you called him and in my opinion, he doesn't care too much about you. A REAL boyfriend would have taken the time out of the day to give his departing girlfriend a call. I can understand if he lost his phone or he was extrememly busy at the time your plane was leaving but to actually say he practically ignored your calls to hang out with friends? Yea thant's pretty bad.
Let him go, you shouldn't expect much from a guy like him.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 August 2012):
 I think your latest post shows that the relationship isn't a very high priority for him. I have read so many posts here where a boyfriend is "hanging out with his friends". I think we all needs friends, but if you're serious about your girlfriend, then you show it throw small courtesies and acts of kindess. I am afraid that if he isn't there for you with something like just calling to make sure you have a safe trip, he won't be there for the "big" things in life.
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A
female
reader, tibob  +, writes (12 August 2012):
 I think that asking you to buy stuff for him is far from being a gentleman. He has not used you, the problem is that he has not been courteous with you. Also, the fact that he did not call you before your departure and did not take your call, might indicate that you don't mean a lot to him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 August 2012):
 I wouldn't say right off the bat that he is using you, there just isn't enough information.
I think it's BAD manners that he didn't call on the day of your departure or even picked up the phone when you tried to call him. Even if you two DID say goodbye the night before it doesn't matter. A decent person would call their partner on the day they left IMHO.
I hope he has a real good explanation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. I called him today once i reached my place. He said he was hanging out with his friends and hence he placed his mobile in silent mode so he wont be disturbed. He hangs out with them almost everyday, can't he just spare 5 mins of his time to atleast send me a text.
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A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (12 August 2012):
Well, to be honest I kinda have to disagree that he might be an intentional jerk. I've been caught in a similar situation like this before. One of my exs (when she was my gf) tried to get in contact with me but my phone was on mute. She left a million messages but I was asleep so I didn't see my phone lighting up.
There was also a time when I lost my phone and couldn't get into contact with her because I never memorized her number from head. She tried calling my phone but it kept going to voice mail. She thought I was rejecting her calls.
The point is that there could be a million things that could be happening to logicly explain this situation. It doesn't have to be that he's using you for stuff. I know girls are likely to jump to conclusions when stuff like this happens but you have to remember that most guys aren't as attentive to their phone like girls are. They don't wait around thier phones 24/7 for a call or text all day. Sometimes we forget we even have one if it stops ringing, lol.
I do agree that he should have found SOME WAY to bid you farewell but like I said, he could have ran into a million problems while doing so. Give him the benefit of the doubt and wait to talk to him again so he can explain.
I agree with BondGirl72 when she said "It only takes a minute to text or phone someone." Which is why I don't think he did this intentional. He's probably kicking himself in the head right now for forgetting your number if he indeed lost his phone. Don't jump to conclusions. You will only come off as clingy. Wait until you guys talk again before you decide to break it off.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 August 2012):
It would be common courtesy for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend before she leaves the country even if he didn't want to. Most guys would call or text because they would WANT TO. If he isn't willing to do something small like this when you live so far away, then I am not sure what he will be willing to do. I disagree with Aidan that you are the one to blame due to "issues". The issue here is your boyfriend is being a jerk. It only takes a minute to text or phone someone.
I would think about what this relationship does for you now that it is long-distance. If it is not serving you well...I would consider breaking it off with him.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (12 August 2012):
You’ve got some pretty big issues in this relationship if you think that you’re being used because, on one occasion, he didn’t phone you. Did you say your good-byes the night before? Perhaps he just thought he’d leave you to it with a stressful journey back, and ring you when you got home? Perhaps he had problems with his phone? It’s worrying that you haven’t thought of all the obvious explanations for why a boyfriend might have chosen not to call or been unable to call, and that instead you think he might have used you. This is indicative of some bigger issues: either you don’t trust him, there are other problems in this relationship, or you’ve got hang-ups from past experiences of being used or let down.
I wish you all the very best.
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