A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a boyfriend thats 24 and am 13.....i need help dont know what to do is it wierd for him to love me ?or is he a rapist and am i stupid for dating him ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): You are not stupid....but he is not a good man to be dating you. He is an adult male and you are barely a teenager. Do your parents know about this guy? Please, for your own good get away from him, he sounds like trouble.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Oh my, this not a good scene! You are so young, live your teenage years with friends your own age. That is too much of an age gap. i am a mother of 6 kids, 5 girls and 1 boy. I agree with the lady with the first answer, tell someone because I would like to know what my kids are doing. Being open and honest with your family is the best for your safety as well a piece of mind to your parents.
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 YOU are NOT stupid, you are a very young girl that is VERY VERY smart to ask this question and GOOD for you!!
Sweetie, please be careful and for your sake, will you please let your parent(s)/guardian know about this. Even an older brother or an uncle. Someone that can help you if you need it.
How long have you been "dating" this 24 yr old?
This is unsafe for you.
Please let us help you make the right decision with this.
Michelle
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): It is a little odd, to me. I look at people your age now and can't believe how young they are - I thought I was so grown up at your age.
As someone who lost their virginity to a man in his mid twenties when I was 14 I may not sound like someone from whom you should take advice, but I've learnt from my mistakes. I don't regret it, but I do have to question why on earth he would have wanted to have sex with a 14 year old. I was at that age, like you are now, a child. Grown men should know better than to get into relationships with children. You really ARE at different stages of life, and honestly, 13 year olds are not as mature as they may like to think they are. I think that you should really try and get out of this relationship, as I doubt it's a healthy one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Love is never weird.Acting on love in your circumstances is. And morever is illegal for a good reason.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (5 October 2008):
 You're not stupid, but he is!
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, rangtang  +, writes (5 October 2008):
to be honest. yes. consdering that i have never met you or your boyfriend, and things might be completely different, but unfornatuely at your age it is a very big age difference, not only in the years but also in the fact that this man has grown up. he's probably more experienced in many different ways that you at 13 are still not even close to experiencing yet. this man ( even though you might like him very much, and so might he) could be just attracted to a 13 year old girl becuase maybe he is unable to get girls his own age, or feels that he wants someone younger for control reasons. talking from experience, i am 18 and my boyfriend is 25. we only started dating 6 months ago.. but initially i had many doubts about his age, but now - all of your mutual friends would never even think about our age difference because we both a very similar and understand the difference in each other's age. if your boyfriend pressures you, controls you, shows waaayy to much affection or just is whipped on you - maybe its a bad thing. but if he is casual in his approach and shows respect for you and your youth - then go for it. just remember, in australia its only legal to have sex for a female when your 16 and over. i dont know about america.. but if that is happening. then it is definitely wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Well, is he having sex with you? If he is, then yes, it is weird and yes, he is a pedophile. Plus, it's illegal.
Do you have a dad or any brothers? Why haven't they kicked his butt yet?
You are only a child, he is an adult. He should realize that what he is doing is not right, even if he is simply dating you. This sends red flags to me and I think you should consider not being with him. Perhaps date boys around your age? Or if you don't want to, perhaps wait until you are a bit older?
This is tough. This is not good for you.
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A
female
reader, chandra Mcmillan +, writes (4 October 2008):
 Hi I would say that people can fall in love at any age but at 24 he should no that dating a 13 year old is not right. It is staturary rape even if you concent. The law and your parents might not see him as you do. He may have a thing for younger girls. I would advice speaking to a trustworthy older person mother father GP just some one who can help. Please be careful!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2008): Go for it. If it feels right, don't let others tell you what to do. Making mistakes at 13 is what being 13 is all about. There is no suck thing as sin when it comes to relationships and sex, even though everybody is going to do their all to tell you differently. Do not believe them! Sex does not make you dirty, a slut, whatever. Be smart, read books, sleep with whoever you choose to. Just make sure it's your choice. Don't let yourself be pressured into anything your even slightly uncomfortable doing. Realize this now, this is the single most important thing you will learn: You will have many relationships, you will have your heart broken more than once, it is better to be alone than in a relationship without respect! Know this, and it will keep you from becoming dependent, needy and from staying in destructive relationships. But for the love of everything you hold dear, and will hold dear in the future, WEAR A CONDOM EVERY TIME! If you get a STD or especially if you get pregnant, your life-quality will be much worse forever! I'm not just trying to scare you, and even though it's not politically correct to talk about a pregnancy as a disaster, thats what it is when you are under 25 (you'll miss out on ALOT). When that is said, realize that the guys who go out with underage girls at 24, well, suffice to say that they are not generally looked upon by the vast majority of their peers as the smartest, most accomplished people on the planet. Not that there's anything wrong with being 13! It's great! But the truth is, if you really want to know, that either he does have a "thing" for children (Trust me on this; when you are 24 I guarantee that you WILL look at 13 year old boys and girls as children) or he is simply not very evolved, or mature, and chances are you will outgrow him eventually (sooner rather than later).
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