A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. we r very happy together. i have a problem though, i have been influenced by people so much in the past that you cannot trust any man ever. an i have been told this so many times that i dont trust men now.i cant imagine a guy turning down a girl for sex even if he had a girlfriend. ive been told that a guy will never turn sex down!is this true? i need help cos i cant even imagine my boyfriend turning it down now :( thanks for the advise! xx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): A guy could have a lot of work pressure and could even be feeling low because of not having his meals on time and a bad day at work. But such things could be overcome by a healthy lifestyle or a nice jog or a workout.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Yes, men can, and do, turn down sex. It could be on moral grounds, because they're tired or anything else really. For pretty much the similar reasons that women turn down sex.
We aren't different species, y'know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): Imagine if people made these kinds of sweeping bad generalizations about women. It would never be tolerated.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 I've turned down sex on multiple occasions. So I guess that means men can turn down sex
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): Guy's have brains as well. Not to mention we are taught the same morals that you are.
Whoever is telling you these things has clearly been hurt and obviously has an attraction the very men most likely to cause them that pain.
Some men are just arseholes. Just as some women are just bitches.
Do I judge either sex based on that? No. Every person is different. This makes generalising a pointless endeavour.
If you are letting outside opinions influence how you see your boyfriend, regardless of whether or not he's done anything to earn this mistrust, then the problem is yours. Not his.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Guys who are faithful are by choice, just as women who are faithful are by choice. There is some truth your statement about people going for sex, but it works just as much with women as it does with men. Men may not turn down, but women are the ones who are not turned down. So, both have the capability to cheat and women do just as much as men, but in both women and men there are those who are faithful and they are because they don't want to hurt the one their with, and cheating is not something they would do to another. Don't pin your boyfriend as being one who will, unless reasons is given to you to make you believe he is.
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A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (12 September 2010):
no it is def not true ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and i trust him completely he has actually told me of a time he turned down sex from a hot chick while he was with me. i conronted her because she was supposed to be my friend and she admitted to it said she was wasted and nothing happened not all guys are dirty rotten cheaters if he loves you he will be faithful
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Guys will turn down sex. Leaving aside the fact that most guys are only good for two or three times a day at most, sometimes we just get tired, or are feeling down, or whatever. Sometimes we're just not in the mood and don't feel like getting in the mood. Some guys won't have sex on the first date (others will, but then classify you as a slut and never call again). Same as any girl.
Whether or not we should find a way to go through the motions when we don't feel like it is another issue.
As for "can't trust guys," - do you honestly believe that you can trust most women, either? Sad fact is, a lot of people (not most, but a significant minority), even otherwise decent ones, will hurt you if it gets them something good in return.
So, just as you would be careful in which girlfriends you trust, be careful about which guys you trust.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): Well, if you like to date bad boys then you will discover they are all bad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): No its not true. :) mal
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Nope, not true.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Believe it or not, some guys actually respect their girlfriends, and will turn down sex.
I know, I was shocked too.
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