A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, i have been dating this guy for 2 months. Everything was great the first 2 weeks. He defiantly plays head games with me. To start we meet though friends. My best friend is one of his best friends. She told me right off the bat that he is very picky about girls he dates and gets with. That he has never had a gf and has only hooked up with about 5 girls {his 20yrs}. I will admit i thought that was kind of weird when she told me that but i got over it. We started off by just hanging out watching movies and going out to fun places. 2 - 3 weeks in to our relationship we hooked up. Its was great nothing weird at all. We desisted not to tell anyone because we didn’t want to hear peoples comments. Then about 2 weeks after we told our best friends. We all started to go out as a couple. Its was great. The problem is... He rarely texts me but he has told me many times he hates texting. He does call me but that has slowed down lately also. Last weekend week hooked up again and he told me he wanted to be with me but not bf and gf. {aka a "thing"} I said okay but i want to be his gf. Then 2 nights ago he called me and was yelling at me because and guy he was just talking to told him i was talking shit about him. Which i was so not.. Then the guy said i was all over him trying to get this number also. So not true. He always asks me if there are other guys that im talking to and then he will ask me questions like "if a girl is sitting next to me like really close flirting with me would you get jealous?" So my question to you all is what the hell should i do?!
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (12 September 2010):
 He's told you he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend, but you're still sleeping with him, even though you want a relationship? He's never going to change his mind. If anything, the fact that you kept hooking up with him in spite of this confirmed his decision not to date you, because you're still giving him the benefits of a relationship regardless of what he says. He's jealous because he has issues adhering to his own rules, that's all.
Break up with him, and keep your legs closed with the next guy until the relationship is more definite. Sorry to be harsh, but this is why friends-with-benefits relationships have so many issues.
If you ever intend to date someone seriously, don't let the relationship reach fwb status. It reduces your chances of being seen as girlfriend material down to zero.
A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (12 September 2010):
I think he is cheating on you honestly. Plus he's getting some extra info about you and drama is starting because of it...it does not seem like something you can defend yourself against. He'll call you when he hears you are with another guy but not call you in general? That's not right.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 September 2010):
 OK, so on the one hand, he tells you straight-up that he doesn't want to date, just hook up a lot. Whatever you felt like, you agreed to it, so that's the first mistake.
Second, if he's going to do that, he really doesn't have any place acting jealous. He may *feel* jealous, especially after what that asshole told him, but he is in no position to act on it.
Basically, he expects commitment without offering any in return. If you agree to this, it will only lead to heartache. Better to find a more serious guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): You should probably break up with him and find a guy that doesn't have confidence or insane jealousy issues.
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