A
female
age
36-40,
*atcher00
writes:Hi. I've been dating this guy for a month now (have known him for almost 4 months) and so far things have gone rly well. He got me a heartshaped cookie and took me out to dinner on Valentines Day, he constantly tells me how beautiful I am and how much he likes me, last weekend he said "I havent felt this way about a girl in a long time", and he made plans to introduce me to his brother (who he is very close to and whose opinion he values above all others) next week. We have gone bowling, to the movies and to dinner on our dates, as well as lowkey nights at my apartment. I had kept things moving slowly sexually until last wkd when he went down on me spontaneously...it was great and I know he wants to do it again tonight. Last week I told him I did not feel ready to return the favor. Should I do it tonight? I want to be with him but we haven't had the exclusivity talk yet. I don't want to push it by letting him know that's what I'd like to have before going down on him. I'm a virgin so oral sex is all the way for me at this point. I am being cautious and taking responsibility for my actions. I have been used in the past and don't want that to happen again. Is it too soon for a BJ and if so what should I do to prevent being used? What should I say to him or wait for before crossing that line?
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female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (1 April 2011):
catcher00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone! Awesome advice :-)
A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (26 February 2011):
 Have the exclusivity talk tonight, and then if it is exculsive, give him head next time. I think that's what youre most worried about.
If you don't think youre ready yet, he really doesn't seem to mind you taking your time, so don't make pressuring demons in your own head! Take it easy. Get the relationship set straight. Then, do what feels comfortable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): If it FEELS right do it...if wrong, don't do it.... just try and be natural and feel your way around your sexuality and his, just do what you are both comfortable with and above all ...have fun. Time is of no importance.
spunky monkey.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (25 February 2011):
 I don't see the harm in it either. Only do it if you want to and feel ready. It all depends on how you feel and how comfortable you are. Don't do it because you think he wants it, do it because YOU want to.
On the exclusivity side, it might not be bad to have that talk. It doesn't have to be anything drastic. But knowing where you stand might help you make this decision as well.
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A
female
reader, ilovecake  +, writes (25 February 2011):
I would just go for it! it seems like he does genuinely otherwise he wouldn't have stuck around for so long so i don't think he will use you, don't let what has happened with another guy make you have issues in this relationship because the chances are he is a nice person. Giving him a blow job is not going to change how either of you feel about each other, in my opinion there is no time like the present a month is long enough have a little fun!
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