A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. This may seem like a really silly question but it's something that has been on my mind for a few days. I've been dating this really great guy for about two months now and our relationship started getting physical a couple of weeks ago. Our relationship is quite strong because we talk to each other about everything and I know about his troubles in the past and he knows about mine. He even said that I'm the only one he's ever told his deepest secrets to. Everything was perfect until I went to his house at the weekend. We were having sex when he said that he loves me. I was shocked to hear him say that since he's only known me for about 3 or 4 months. Maybe I'm just being paranoid but is it strange that he said this so quickly and how should I respond? I really like him but it's too early for me to say that I love him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Heat of the moment right there. Id say his words were based on a single good feeling and not necessarily the whole relationship. In all honesty, imo, with these words being said prematurely it could be a bad sign as it hints at immaturity.
This doesnt mean he's a bad guy, I just think he needs time for things to fully develop between you two. In my world, I dont say these words. My actions will tell a girl this and thats all a man needs to do. Watch and see how he acts. Do NOT take these words to heart just yet and you questioned it so thats a good sign you feel something may be off. This is smart of you to recognize. Be patient and see how he follows up with his words. If he doesnt follow up, chances are its either premature or he's just all talk. Good luck.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (9 November 2010):
They say that the brain is in a constant state of producing "feel good" chemicals during the first 6 months or so of a relationship. Things are new and exciting, and you're consistently learning new amazing things about this person you're with. This leads to many many premature "I love you's."
I'm not saying love isn't real or anything radical like that; I'm simply saying that during those first couple of months of a new relationship, you aren't exactly thinking how you might be thinking a year later.
If you feel its too early, let him know that.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (8 November 2010):
 It could have been a heat of the moment thing. Ive felt like blurting that out before but stopped my self.
I know many might not agree but I think that actually you can fall in love very easily with someone and that is is possible he loves you as your relationship sounds very strong and loving.
It. Is a bit wierd the first time he told you was during sex so I would guess it was heat of the moment.
Don't say it till you mean it because it will be obvious if your lying. Justtell him your not there yet but that you will be if things continue. (only if you think tht lol!)
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Wow, that's not too early at all. Especially since you have been intimate physically and emotionally, and the fact that he hasn't been this way with anyone else. I would imagine it is intense for him and he has very deep feelings for you. When is it normal to hear "I love you"? I truthfully have heard it from every boyfriend within 3 weeks of dating. A lot is mostly infatuation but I hear it early nevertheless. In any case just be honest and say that you aren't quite there yet, you feel deeply for him but don't want to say it until you KNOW you mean it with all your heart. I've had to say it to everyone so I know how that goes. They are a little sad or embarrassed at first but turn out okay. And are that much more happy when I finally do say and feel it because they know I mean it. Always be open and honest. Good luck.
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