A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I wonder if you can help.I'm not sure I know how to interact with women in clubs. I'm in a relationship and have been for the past few months, and when I go out with my friends, we all get really drunk and then I watch as they rub up against beautiful girls, and the girls seem to like it... But I don't feel like I can. For one thing, I'm in a relationship and I would hate to jeopardize my relationship just for the sake of drunken dancing in a club, also I feel like if I were to do what they do I'd only end up looking stupid, or worse, receive a slap in the face.I'm confused. What do you think are the wrongs and the rights of this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Uh, NO.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): wrong, wrong, wrong!!!! If you are in a relationship rubbing up against other women is strictly off limits. On the other hand if ur single and have been flirting all night with someone, then you dance i guess a little grindiing is fine but nothin too full on. Be natural and do what you want, not your friends! But you are definitely going to get dumped if you do it while you are in a relationship! And if ur ever single don't be a sleaze and randomly pick a girl to grind up on - unless they have expressed a clear interest in you - otherwise you will get a slap in the face!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 If some drunken weirdo rubbed up against me while I was dancing I'd probably fall and break a hip. So if you do this pick your victims carefully.
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A
female
reader, smitheroon +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Look, it's easy to quickly say this is right or wrong and start laying out black and white rules of relationships. But here's the thing, you have to figure this out for yourself. If it feels wrong, then don't do it. Don't jump your friends for whatever they do, but stick to what feels right to you.
A part of me wonders if you're looking for permission to do it or if you're seeking permission to condescend on your friends? Maybe both of those are wrong, but honestly, you have to figure out these rules for yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): if your not comfortable with it DONT DO IT! speaking from experience if your significant other found out shed probabaly be hurt and her ability to trust you would decrease. thats not a good thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): No of course you shouldn't rub up against them you just dance in your own space with your friends, you don't grind them!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): Well I don't actually go to clubs, so maybe my knowledge of appropriate behaiour in them is a bit limited! But if I were in a relationship with someone, and he went to a club and rubbed up against women, I would feel really hurt. Okay, your partner may never find out, but if you are questioning it yourself you would probably feel guilty anyway. And those feeings might not be healthy for the relationship.
Maybe I need to liven up more, but gosh, does that really happen at clubs?? Okay, it sounds like the guys and gals who do that behaviour are probably just having some fun, and I think that is fine if they are single. But in a relationship...then I don't think it would be right to do that.
Also, not every woman in the club will be the same, and some women might be offended if you were to rub up against them. I know I would! But maybe that's just me...So I think if you don't feel comfortable with the idea, then don't do it, no matter what your friends may be doing. Hope this helps! x
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A
female
reader, BagLady +, writes (4 March 2010):
It's okay to dance with girls. Grinding is a bit more intimate and may be a bit much. You can have fun, but try not to do the dances that look like sex acts with clothes on. Fun is fine to have as long as it's just that. If someone gets the wrong idea just say plainly that you have a lady and are just here to dance and enjoy the evening. And it's not normal (last I knew) to slap a guy for just dancing.
If you don't know any dances that don't involve grinding, and thrusting...then it's probably time to open youtube and start learning how to actually dance.
Good luck and hope you have fun and this helped
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A
female
reader, Weramazing +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Stay as you are, you are totally right to think the way you do. if a guy done that to me in a club he would definitely be embarrasses by my reaction. Also you have a girlfriend and it would be disrespectful to her if you done that I'm sure you wouldn't want her to do that to you.
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