A
male
age
51-59,
*IRGIL812
writes: Is it a bad idea to give a engagement ring during a argument or a break up to try to mend things back together if you really love that person?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): No it looks like an excuse or a cover up for the argument. You know like throwing money at a person just to shut them up. It is unfair. At least wait until you guys have found a solution to the problem. Let that be the make-up gift show that your serious about what was said and that your ready to make those changes TOGETHER.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (20 February 2010):
Yes, I don't think this would be a good idea. Frankly, I'm imagining what I would do if I were really fired up at my fella and in an argument... if he had asked me to marry him then, that would have not be a good scene. Actually... funny enough I did have a guy give me a ring during an argument, come to think of it. It wasn't an engagement ring, just a ring. But I remember, I was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??" - the timing was horrendous. It felt like a bribery to get me to shut up. Like, "yeah yeah, here's something pretty". She may feel that it's manipulative is what I'm saying.
Save the ring for a happy time and a happy moment, so when she re-lives it in her head, she just remembers how wonderful you and your relationship are. Don't let her look at that ring and think, "man, he could be such a jerk when we fought".
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (19 February 2010):
I don't think it is. Proposing to someone in the middle of an argument can make you unfairly win the argument. "I hate you so much right now... aww, you want to marry me? This changes everything. I love you!!"
Just wait to propose. Wait until things cool down.
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (19 February 2010):
It depends on what you are fighting about. For instance, if its about who last cooked dinner then you can, but if you cheated forget it. Women like to have everything resolved before moving on. They can't just forget about it and move on without proper resolution. So try make amends first.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (19 February 2010):
Engagement rings don't solve problems. They don't magically heal any rift that is between you. If you are arguing or breaking up with somebody, regardless of if you love them, how do you think an engagement ring will fix things? People who are engaged and people who are married argue just as much.
Engagement rings should be used for proposals that are romantic and real and out of love, not out of frustration because of arguing, and not to magically keep you together.
You have to sort through issues by talking.
Of course.. if you're arguing about commitment issues, it may be a different story, but still, issues should be sorted before engagements are suggested.
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