A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship for 3 years. The man involved and I love each other very much and express it too each other alot. We do have our arguements. I have found when we argue all the things I tell him are thrown in my face and when we argue he always ends the relationship. I know he is an angry person. He tells me that he doesn't love me and that i'm the biggest mistake he has made. He is very bitter at life. I know he didn't have a pleasant childhood and always felt he has to put others first. I agree with him that he has alot to frustrated about and try to get him through his anger. He is a very proud person and is very hurtful when he is angry. In a few weeks he will want us to be back together. Saying he loves me, that he doesn't want anyone else touching me, telling me about the life he wants with me. Is it possible that he has a personality disorder....or perhaps do I? I know in relationships it's easiest to hurt the one you love and that love you, but is this going above and beyond this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Lord!!! I have been through this myself and all I can say to you is end it. Truly he has a BIG problem and he will most likely have it for the rest of his life.
Any relationship that makes you feel controlled, manipulated and in a permanent state of confusion IS NO GOOD!! Any person who is up and down with their moods fatalistic and throws the past in your face is a BAD partner and clearly doesn't love you as a normal person would.
Do not delude yourself any longer. You can NEVER NEVER NEVER fix it and life is too short to put up with the pain.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 April 2010):
He could be a narcissist, but it sounds more like he has had things his own way and is now arrogant and big headed. He's constantly breaking up with you, says he doesn't love you, says you're the biggest mistake. He has some disorder, whereas you love him. Make no mistake, he does not love you. A man like this, who acts this way does not love you. He would do anything to change his behaviour. I know you think he loves you, but you can take it from another man he doesn't. He just wants his own way all the time and will take what he can get. The best thing you can do is move on. If you don't, this will be your life. You will always be there for him when he comes back for what he wants, you will always get hurt by him, you will never be truly happy. There is a time where you have to accept that no matter how much you love someone, they do not think or feel the same. The fact is, if he loved you, he would not treat you this way. So you have a choice. You either take him back, and in a little while you'll be right back here asking yourself what you can do to change (which is nothing, because it's not your problem). Or you see the light and realize you can do better than an immature man who runs away and treats you like dirt.
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A
female
reader, terrifenby +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Its the second time i have said this today but what you need to think about is are you happy! Some people can change and some cant. The last thing you need is to be in a relationship where you cant talk about how you feel because you are afraid that the next time you argue it will be thrown in your face. Try to talk to him if he can listen then leave. Every one deserves thei chance at happiness and if you not happy then you need to go out there and find it! Hope this help hun, I have been in your situation before and leaving him was the best thing i ever did! Good luck
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