A
female
age
,
*oncretepanther
writes:Dear Cupid, I am so confused. I met a nice guy online, I live in UK and he lives in Norway. We started chatting for a few days, all seemed to be going well, so I suggested a phone call, which also went well. We spoke for about an hour, and seemed to get along, and as we said goodbye, he told me he liked my voice and would like to talk to me again. I then did not hear from him again for 6 weeks. Then out of the blue he contacted me. We started chatting again and I asked him why he did not contact me for 6 weeks, and he told me that his elderly father was taken into hospital and he was visiting the hospital with his mother, and helping her at her home etc. I can totally understand that, so I let it go. We were talking and all was going well, laughing and joking, and he was also getting really flirty with me, and we ended up having cyber sex. After that night we exchanged phone numbers and he would text me very naughty texts 6-8 times a day and call me during the day and flirt heavily with me for 30-45 mins 2 or 3 days a week - I could barely concentrate at work! He would also call me in the evening 2-3 times a week for about 1hr and we would have phone sex. One night after a call, he told me he loved me - then later that evening I received a text saying he loved me. We have never met. After 2 weeks of this of phone sex, I told him I had had enough, I wanted a proper relationship, no more phone sex. I asked him what did he want, he told me he wanted a long term relationship too. I suggested we meet up to see if we get along in person. He agreed and said he would do his best to meet me, he would have to organise his work load. After that night, he still continued to try fôr phone sex over the next few days, and I got angry, and told him it's over as he does not respect my decision about no phone sex. He apologised, and said he acknowledges what I say, but can we be friends and see how we get on, so I agreed. He said I can call/text him whenever I want. We still planned to meet in UK for a weekend in November. After that converstion he disappeared off the face of the earth for 4 days, so I sent him an email asking him if all was ok, that I wanted to keep in contact, but if did not, then I respect his decision. He called me 4 days later and told me all was ok, that he was just very busy with his job, and painting walls in his house in the evenings, he said everything is ok. The next morning I received a lovely text from him, telling me how much he enjoys talking to me and how wonderful I am. I sent him a text back that evening saying I enjoyed the call too etc., and I have never heard from him since. That has now been 10 days ago. I am an attractive 48 year old woman and he is handsome 44 year old, I can't believe something like this can happen to me at this stage of my life. I am so confused, I don't know what to think, or do. Is it over? Have I been played?
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at work, flirt, phone sex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (19 October 2010):
 He sounds like a guy who will say whatever you want to get sex, it's hard to get to know someone online!! As long as you learn from this and move on you should be fine. Hope you feel better soon x
A
female
reader, concretepanther +, writes (19 October 2010):
concretepanther is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear All who answered my question,
Thank you - I appreciate your feedback and honesty. To be honest with you a part of me was still hoping he would get back in contact with me soon, but, I realise now, that this guy has had his fun and has moved on to fresh game. Well, I've certainly learnt alot from this experience, and learnt my lesson well, and I do not wish to repeat it.
Hello tennisstar88, no I did not meet him on skype, just a regular dating website.
Well wishes to you all.
Concretepanther
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Im sorry, but age has nothing to do with getting played! just goes to show no matter how old or young, a player is a player. Anyway, so what next? U move on...plain and simple. Dont lose any sleep over this guy...he seems to have enjoyed the phone sex while it lasted, and now that he's not getting anymore of it, he doesn't want to waste his time.
Trust me, its not worth it.Dont let this man manipulate you like this...it seems like he just uses your company when he's bored. Dont let him get away with this. Please dont question yourself as to why and how this could happen to you...sometimes the wisest of people get duped by others. You were caught unawares, but now you know better. Cut him out of your life...you deserve so much better!
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A
male
reader, orange_sasquatch  +, writes (18 October 2010):
I'd say he was playing you. All he really seems to want is that phone sex stuff. He's being really dodgy. That really indicates he's not interested in meeting or in persuing a relationship. also he said he loved you, and I find it hard to believe that he'd love you and never have met you (but who knows maybe you're just that awesome). Anyway, I'd say forget about him. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 October 2010):
 By chance did you meet this guy on Skype? Now, I love Skype, it's just so neat that I can chat with people all over the world. BUT, beware often guys message you wanting cyber and phone sex, nothing more. A virtual fuck buddy so to speak. Sex is all this guy wants, he needs to get his kicks somehow. He doesn't want a relationship nor does he love you. How can you love someone you have never met? That you don't even know? So now you're not going to give him what he is wanting from you so poof he's gone. Back to searching the chat boards and skype for some foreign girl who will cyber.
Sorry honey, there was never anything there to begin with. He lead you on. Now it's time for you to move on, and please be cautious of meeting men off the internet, they're not always who they say they are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Well, it seems like he finds great pleasure in the phone sex and 'love' texting. I think he is bored and when ever he finds the time, his arousing time, he calls you. Then you don't hear from him. He leaves a wide gap of mystery and unknown and magically appears. All in all, I hate to break it to you hun, but he is playing you. Don't be discourage as long-distance calls, and blind relationships don't usually work out so much. It is not uncommon. I suggest you find someone (you can meet in person) and who will enjoy being with you and give you his all. Trust me, you don't need to waste your time on this guy. You deserve better. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, asap09marc +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Dont hate the player,hate the game.
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