A
female
age
30-35,
Joeyxxox
writes:I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but nowadays it seems like it has become completely acceptable (and inevitable) that if you are in a relationship your partner is deffinately going to cheat.You see all these poor humilliated women in the media like Cheryl Cole, Toni Poole etc... all accepting that there men ''can't help it'' (or the new favorite) ''have a sexual addiction and need to go to rehab''It's not right, these men are not victims, they just can't keep it in their pants!Don't get me wrong it's not just men, women do it all the time to.What i don't understand is if you are with someone you supposedly love, why would you need to go somewhere else for attention?Some marriages i understand can become ''boring'' when there are financial problems or lives revolve around the children, but if you can't handle someone at their worst you don't deserve them at their best and certainly don't deserve a second chance if you've had a string of affairs in the process.The problem i'm seeing is that people are becoming way to accepting of the whole thing and that's why it's becoming a regular occurence.When did it become ok to cheat?
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, Joeyxxox +, writes (28 February 2011):
Joeyxxox is verified as being by the original poster of the question woah, only just read the responses! thanks for all your insights guys, you all have a fair point. The reason i posted this was due to personal issues myself, so again thank you x
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 April 2010):
 It never became OK to cheat.. as far as I know Cheryl is looking for a divorce.
Some people cheat all the time, some people only cheat if they are unhappy with their relationship, some people cheat because they are drunk and make a mistake, some people never cheat and remain totally happy.
50% of people cheat, 50% of people never do.. 50% of people get divorced, 50% of people stay happily married..
Like all things in this new 21st century, things are neither black nor white, they are a kind of muddy grey. There are no certainties, no more "marry and be abused", no more "pretend not to be gay", women find out that men use porn, men find out that women can have affairs too..
I know it's hard, things are much harder now.. there are no jobs for life, educational ability do not always bring rewards, and there are no more pensions for life...
But you also have freedom, freedom to divorce, freedom to live differently.. husbands can stay at home, women can become the head of industry..
Everything has changed, you need to use your brains, pick the right man, pick the right job, and when these don't work out (no matter how hard you try) you have to be able to cut out the deadwood, pick up yourself and move on to the next thing that might bring you happiness..
More choice means more risk, but also promises great success as well as the chance for great failures.
...............................
A
female
reader, serendipity1983 +, writes (2 April 2010):
i think that u only get cheated on if you let them get away with things,i make it perfectly clear to my partner that if he cheated on me that i would never give him a second chance and our life together will be over as for cheryl cole yes it is a bit of a shame but she made the stupid decision of having him back the first time and then he knows that he did that and got a second chance so he is going to try it again and thinks he will get away with it again cus he did the first time.so it depends on what ur willing to take and at the end of the day if they are willing to cheat then they dnt love you so theres no point in giving them another chance anyway u mayswell just move on and find someone who will love you and hopefully not cheat but u cnt never say they never will cus cheating is something u cnt control.xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Are you stupid it is not even close to being ok to cheat. You are stupid if you dont even know if it is ok to cheat you need to go to therapy or something.
...............................
A
male
reader, beargrylls +, writes (31 March 2010):
 hi
my dad used to have a mate, they went out on friday night's together. before his mate was allowed out his wife had sex with him without fail every friday and lots of times during the week, this kept him from straying, every man knows he was put on earth to repopulate the world with any one and everyone, trust me i am a man and all my freinds are except my best friend. what i am saying is men are genitically programmed to want sex every 48 hrs, if your not prepared to give them that there is a good chance they will look at other women thinking what they would like to do to them. simple eqation to stop your man sraying is ghse=48hrs (give him sex every 48 hrs) simples
...............................
A
male
reader, soul83  +, writes (28 March 2010):
"Some marriages i understand can become ''boring'' when there are financial problems or lives revolve around the children, but if you can't handle someone at their worst you don't deserve them at their best and certainly don't deserve a second chance if you've had a string of affairs in the process."
I agree! If you can't take someone at their worst, you don't deserve them at their best. I'm very traditional and believe in commitment to one person. I would never date more than one girl at a time. And yes when a partner thinks it's ok to cheat, then clearly we should question how 'in love' they truly are with their partner? Do they have real commitments to each other? Not if they are cheating.
If I were to find out that my partner cheated on me, I wouldn't be able to trust them anymore and would be hurt enough to send them packing.
Joeyxxox: I too have been sharing your sentiment. It does seem like it's inevitable that some people will want to share partners and expect it to be ok to sleep around. It's called being a player. Most of those men and women end up old, used, with bad reputations and never really experience real love (if they ever want to experience it in the first place).
I had a similar discussion with my gf just last night. She was telling me about the 'new idea' that is sweeping China at the moment (effectively swingers clubs as we know them in the West). Married men and women swapping partners for a bit of variety. I know a bit of the history of men here and yeah the place is rife with players and guys with multiple gf's/mistresses. Likewise, many of the women hit back at that by going along with other guys. Anyway, so my gf claims she will take me to a 'massage parlour' later so I can experience sex with other women. I was so disgusted it wasn't funny. I find it insulting - usually I'll just laugh it off and say that I will never change but it's so ingrained in their culture that she almost certainly expects me to grow tired of her and want to try out someone else (esp. since she is my first gf). So basically I started wondering if the question was a kind of reverse psychology - was she asking me this to test the waters because she was thinking about infedelity? I asked her directly if she would sleep with other men and her reply was 'only if you give me permission'. That worried me because she wouldn't 'need my permission' to cheat if she wanted to....
Maybe it's a culture thing once they are married? I see many men beat their wives, cheat on them etc. So perhaps she's thinking along those lines and cannot understand how different some Westerners are?
Still it's a glaring issue if she thinks it would be ok to cheat 'if I said it was'. Does her culture insist on the woman becoming a 'servant' to the husband and doing as their told? I don't think so! I don't want that situation. I'm after a partner that can be on equal terms with me.
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (26 March 2010):
 People are getting married thinking its love, or they are
just to young to know if its actual love. When a person
cheats it might be for the thrill, for the danger in
getting caught, for the excitement. The values in marriage
have diminish and have changed so much and it happens so
often in both men and women and be honest something must be
missing in the relationship "LOVE" because I doubt a person
being truly in-love would need to search in others because
he/she would have all they need and want at home.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): i dont think its ok to cheat but nowadays thats what alot of men do, even the most nicest man in the world is capable of cheating, i really cant stand cheats (been cheated on many times) i just think they are selfish for doing it, especially if they are married, its wrong and im against cheats, it really angers me that these days most men cheat, i know they say not all mean cheat but in my opinion i believe that all of them probley do and most are such good liars.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): It seems outrageous to me that anyone would ever cheat on their spouses! They should never have married if they did not truly love each other. I was very lucky for my wife and would never have gone near another woman. Still, after she is gone, I feel weird even looking at other women.I don't understand how some people do it, honestly.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): Cheating is never right and yes everyone can help it.
Why people do it can be easily summed up in one word : selfishness.
That it, any other reason is a lie.
The horrible truth is that people seem to think relationships are all about sex. This is a nonsense that has caused alot of problems in modern society.
A good relationship is about being together, taking care of eachother and comunicating. sex is a bonus.
I accept cheating as the end of the relationship and wont even hear what nonsense they try to tell me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 Those are just marriages of convenience and probably their love is only skin deep. They married for his money and fame and they became objects of his desire or a play toy only. Those men did not love them or their love for them was only short lived.
It is never O.K to cheat in a marriage. There are many reasons why people cheat but the main reason is the lack of love or the feeling of inadequacies.
It is wrong morally and religiously and you reap what you sow.Your life, your job, your friends and your life choices will be turned upside down.
You may even lose your home, your partner, your children , your car and your future and your everything.
...............................
A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 it became ok to cheat when sex and money became more important than love, and marriage became an excuse to find some security (to find some one that has money to take care of you) ... this leaves love with no meaning ...
so ppl get in a relationship with some 1 that has money then get married then have sex to keep their sexual appetite satisfied that fails soon coz there is no love just sex, they find some1 that has love to give and that's how it goes...
but they never marry that man who they love coz they are married to a man already so when this man who loves them tell them that he needs her .... she says "oh... im already married i cant leave him" and she dumps the guy finds another to get some love that is missing in her life...
and the cheating has been found more true with women scientific study revealed that women want to feel safe and when they are not with the man they love they don't fell safe, and they find another who can give that to them ...
and the scientists say its built in their body so you cant blame them ha-ha... really sad and they call these women as leacher's :P
...............................
|
