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Is it normal to be this in love without meeting someone?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2011) 11 Answers - (Newest, 6 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *lice0110 writes:

Help! for nearly a year i have been talking to a turkish guy online and i can honestly say that i really like him. Hes so lovely and although i have never met him in person, im sure i will like him. he is really like my dream man and he honestly seems to like me too. ive seen all of his family and they are all lovely and they all would like me to visit. im just worried because of some of the reputations that they have. hes also brought a computer so he can see me everyday and we constantly mention our future together. however, now hes gone to another part of turkey for 2 months and i dont know if i will see him then. i feel so depressed because he really does bring a smile to my face and now all i want to do is sleep, i cant even face eating. is it normal to be this in love without even meeting someone? and i know this sounds stupid, and if someone else was saying this to me, i would think they were being stupid but now its happened to me, i honestly dont know how i will cope without seeing him

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A female reader, nes09 United Kingdom +, writes (6 April 2012):

nes09 agony auntYou should meet him in person to know if he's really serious or not.

And when you do meet him in person, especially in his country, try to tag along a friend or family member.

I dated a turkish guy before and we have the same situation.

Its not easy especially if he already captured your heart.

give TIME to know him in person and it'll make a difference.

In my situation, i took time and i gathered a lot of skeleton in his closet that he still didn't deal with.. so we broke up :(

Hope yours will do well. Good luck :)

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (9 June 2011):

mizz.butterflies agony auntits just a white lie,get over it.good luck.

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A female reader, alice0110 United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2011):

alice0110 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i know & i have had so many dreams about meeting him and i really would like too. And already he has been waiting around a year for meand hes aware that theres another year to go. but im worried that when i tell him my parents dont know, he wont be impressed as before i have told him that they do

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (7 June 2011):

mizz.butterflies agony auntSooo? do u plan on keeping this relationship forever online?

u gotta meet him sometime?

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A female reader, alice0110 United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2011):

alice0110 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he is emailing me yh, but its not the same as seeing him for 4 hours every night. i would love him to come, but he thinks that my parents know about him, which they dont. :/

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (7 June 2011):

mizz.butterflies agony auntok u seem to be in a daze. please FOCUS.

now once u turn 18 u should let him come visit u.

if he plans ahead...he can come for little money. let him stay in a hotel and do not go there on your own. Meet him in public. Do not be naive. And hes away for long ok,but he can still find time to email you at least?

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A female reader, alice0110 United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2011):

alice0110 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

and also, many times he has said that he wants to come and visit me, but i have to keep putting him off because i havnt told my parents. if they knew i had been talking to strangers online, they wouldnt be too impressed, well, maybe just the fact that i claimed i hadnt when all along i had would make it worse. so, im aware that if anything happens, i could loose my family, but he honestly makes me feel like i can just be myself around him and it feels so natural

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A female reader, alice0110 United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2011):

alice0110 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all of the advice everyone. hes 25 and im 17, well 18 this year so the age gap is 7 years. and although that sounds big because of my age, when put into context i guess its pretty normal. he really is lovely to me and yeah, i have sort of figured out that maybe his family are only nice because they think its time he was married. He has a habit of ignoring me sometimes when we speak yet other times all he wants to do is sit and talk to me. i mean, if a 25 year old will sit in on a saturday night and talk to someone for around 5 hours until 3am their time, surely that counts for something? i can't imagine my life without him and now that hes gone away for 2 months, already i have changed so much. i seem so down in general and its difficult for me to eat and sleep because i honestly miss him. and its only been like 3 days?! hes told me so frequently that he doesnt have money to offer me, but i mean who looks for relationships based on money anyway. hes told me he only has a good heart to offer me and thats all a girl can want. i would do anything to be with him and yh, maybe i would go as far as giving up my whole life in england. really, i love him and he honestly seems to love me

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A female reader, mizz.butterflies United States +, writes (5 June 2011):

mizz.butterflies agony auntI also met a turkish guy online, at first I wasnt that interested in him,but he randomly came to my city and since then I've been head over heels ....I went to his city with my fam for the new yrs and he treated me AMAZINGLY, introduced me and my sister to his mom, we spent the new yrs with his friends and cousins... turkish guys are very compassionate & true gentlemen. u need to be careful if hes too older than you. then something's wrong. Turkish men are supposed to get married between 25-30 so if hes still single somethin wrong might be goin on. u need to meet him in person. and do not go to turkey alone. let him come to you. there are cheap flights from turkey to the UK.im surprised he still hasnt visited you,why is that?

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A male reader, wiseoldman United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2011):

Find someone of your own culture and in your own neighbourhood. It can be done, it's safer, and at least you know you're not being used to provide an immigrant visa.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011):

With internet relationships you really have to be careful.

What age is this guy?? And what do you mean by, 'you're worried about some of the reputations that they have?' That doesn't sound too good or too safe! You live in the UK, so if you were to have a relationship with this man you would have to give up everything at home. Are you sure you would want that? What if you risk everything for him only for him to turn out to be nothing like the impression he has given you over the internet and then you're trapped there??

My sister ran away to the other side of the country to be with a man she met on the internet. It turned out he was a drug dealer and more than twenty years older than her. And she was your age!! I went to visit and he really was horrible and abusive, but she insists on staying with him. You may think you love him, but is it really worth the risk and everything you would have to give up to be with him?? You are only seventeen. You could quite easily find a boyfriend in your own country. Think about how worried your family would be if you ever left for him.

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