A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im having a boy friend.loving him from past 3 years.he shouts at me of course i even do,but wen i shout he cant tolerate..he stares at girls talk wid tem in the nights but he gets angry even if i talk to a boy casually.he used to go near one girls house just to acccompany her in the walk. . from then i started suspecting him. .i used to get angry wenever he chats or call up on her..and also we faught many times regarding this.. but anyways he finally reduced talking to that girl ..but still i am not able to trust him.. is it my fault or his ?????plzzz suggest Reply to this Question
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female
reader, yoo  +, writes (29 October 2010):
For the long lasting luv,trusting is so important but not for all. I stonglu belive that, everyone that 've read will think in the same way "Not ur fault".Having another girl ,it no reason to give ur best trust to him.
A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Its nobody's FAULT that you don't trust him.
If you have stuck by him in a relationship that you are not happy with then you cant blame him for your happiness or lack of trust. You are condoning his behaviour.
You are both very possessive over each other and sound jealous.
You're unhappy when he talks to other girls and he's unhappy when you talk to other guys.
Have you thought that you two aren't suited? You're both still very young and will continue to grow and change as you gain more life experience.
Have a think about how you want your relationship to be, and if this one isn't it then maybe its time to move on. Our lives are short and we should spend our time happy, and not arguing.
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A
female
reader, wannadie15 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 well....ur question is it ur fault or his dat u dnt trust him.....trust is such a big thing in a relationship...may b ur wrong n its ur fault..may b ur insecurity n nagging abt dat girl makes him more towards her...relax!!!!! dis is d time u decide wht u wnt...him or problems....sort it out wid him openly gve him space n let him do wht he wnts but keep a clear stand dat it hurts u .if he loves u he wont ever do it again.....n 1thing baby...men r men they hv some stupid male ego ..n in INDIA women need 2 pamper male ego whatever place they belong metro or urban ...ur a girl n u hv all d power 2 make a man fool....wake up n grab ur man........gudluck!
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A
female
reader, marymomnwife  +, writes (29 October 2010):
i would say dont feel insecure bout ur relationship with him till u find hard proof of him being unfaitful but if u cant have male friends while he can have female friends it sounds like he has some control issues and they are one of the harder problems to fix as this has to do with a guys insecurities and not all guys r willing to b open enough to resolve the problem. if this relationship is worth keeping then talk to him but it may get worse over time so get prepared u may have to end this at some point in the future.
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A
female
reader, syrop  +, writes (29 October 2010):
i don't think he is trustworthy. if your bf truly loves you, he would not like ''scold'' you for another girl or he would simply not do things that you don't like and that hurt you. but this is quite surprising that he can't see you talk with another boy when he is doing so much. you know girl, many boys BELIEVED that they have fallen in love with two girls at the same time. but it is not always the same. i mean maybe he is in love with one and he has lust for another one else. in this case most probably he is in LOVE with you. for he can't see you with another boy. that some sorts of jealousy. if he did not love you, he would not be jealous of that. what your have to do? be a bit more careful about your bf. do things that show him how much you love him. like give him some surprises gift. when he scolded you, take it lightly, take it as if he is showering his love upon you, he is scolding you just because he loves you. and don't do the mistake of scolding him, instead try to show him how you are ignoring all his mistakes ans accepting him sweetly. one more thing when he scold you do not scold him back. do things that shall bring romance in your relation. am sure he will recognized ur love for him!!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Ok dont be looking for someone to blame as this will only result in the both of you going around in circles instead just try and make this work. If his friendship with this girl is just pure friendship then there shouldnt be a problem with it, is he secrative about meetin her? Or does he tell you the truth.
I dont no him so maybe he is untrustworthy but you need to either fix these issues or there is no relationship. So sit down with him and tell him you are feeling insecure and hopefully come to some sort of conclusion. If he is allowed female friends then you are allowed male friends simple as that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): There are much more evolved, respectful and empathic caring men out there than your man. Though if you ever wish to leave DO NOT TELL him in advance, because i sense some potential for bad behaviour from him, directed at you, if you ever dared to stand up to him and did leave. You may be a nag (that's not good) and insecure (you need to believe in yourself and your abilities). And being insecure is bad in a relationship. Sounds like you have good reason to be insecure. But from how you describe him i think any normal woman would feel insecurity. Insecurity drives a man away. But he also tries to control you (that's not good), yet I'll bet you are drop dead gorgeous (the fact he's stayed so long tells me that). Sorry, but to some men - woman are just taken for granted. Your man needs to show you far more respect. And prior to age 21 many men see girls - NOT as a committed relationship, but as 'notches on the man's belt'. The more notches the better. Get a brochure on Domestic Violence and read it, because i sense that you dont realise you are in a vortex of potential domestic violence that will only get worse. Shouting and arguing are ruiners in a relationship. Try not to have a child with him, because i don't think he's mature enough yet to be a father. You very likely may end up as a single parent if you do get pregnant with him. I dont have faith in your man, he sounds like a man who enjoys flirting with other women too much. When girls are young they often have an idealised view of how a relationship should be. But not the experience to know what is not acceptable. Shouting is an immature, violent, aggressive, unhelpful way to try to resolve anything.
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A
female
reader, yoo +, writes (29 October 2010):
I think,it 's not ur fault .Basicly,Having long lasting love is trusting but sometime it's not. The right way , you sholud do which is talking with him.For sure about
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (29 October 2010):
 his fault. if you have expressed that it hurts you when he spends time with other girls then he should respect that. if he keeps on doing it then your trust will not build up for him.
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