A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:if a married woman just sleeps with a guy without having sex is that considered cheating??
View related questions:
married woman Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 No right thinking married woman would allow a man to share the bed with her.
Protocol dictates that the man should sleep on the couch or floor and not in the same room , let alone the same bed.
If you are on the same bed or in the same room , it is very hard to convince people that nothing is going on between the two of you. You will be tainted goods even if nothing happens .
Different people have differing standards of morals and perceptions.
If the roles were to be reversed. What would you think? Would you believe your husband is innocent?
Maybe, you should ask your husband this question and find out where he stands.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): Couldnt one of you have slept on the floor? in a sleeping bag? or on the couch or a chair?
also by comming here you are showing that u are confused on the matter, what went through your head before you chose to get in the same bed with him, or let him in? if there was any doubt or confusion as to wether or not its acceptable, wouldnt it have just been best to avoid it in the first place?
another thing, what would your hubby think? i know what i and most men would think? why, how? its hard to beleive that u slept in the same bed as another man and nothing happened, no matter how truthful it is that u didnt, its always hard to swallow for the male S/O, is there any history with this guy aswell?
i can honestly tell you that whatever action you choose either by telling your hubby, or keeping it secret there will always be a chance of something going awry. he may find out from someone else if you choose to keep stum, or he'll assume the worst if u tell him. personally i prefer to be told straight out, no tippy-toe-ing that way i know my S/O is being somewhat truthful, and the rest is probably in my mind. it will cause slight doubt though, so prepare for that.
- Anadin
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): If you didn't have an unusual situation occuring, AND called and obtained your husband's permission to sleep in the same bed with another man without sexual acts, then you cheated period.My wife was traveling for a job she just started, and we were in the process of buying a new home and selling the old. She was commuting 2 hours per day each way to be at home every night. She did this for 3 months while we obtained our new home in a new state.One time, it started snowing/sleeting really bad, and I was concerned for her. I called her at work and told her to stay in a hotel and not try and drive home. I called the hotel to make a reservation, and they had a waiting list. She showed up and there was only 1 room left with only 1 bed. She took the room. The guy behind her in line was out of luck. He asked for permission from the hotel to leave his car in the parking lot and sleep in it and use the lobby bathroom in the morning. They agreed. When my wife called me that night to say goodnight, She told me about this situation, I told her she should have called me and I would have told her to let the guy stay in her room and split the cost. They could both sleep in clothes, or at least underwear, and it was just one of those situations that nothing would be intended nor implied and it would be OK with me if she called me first.You don't sound like you had a 'situation' here, so I would have to say, yes, you cheated, even if not sexually, still morally and in violation of your marriage contract. Tell your husband, hopefully, it was a truely innocent thing and he will understand.
...............................
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 A married woman has no business whatsoever being in bed with another man.
What on earth were you thinking? This is cheating by implication, whether it was deliberate or accidental. I can picture the explanatory conversation. 'I'm sorry darling, I was in bed with him, but nothing happended. Honestly!'.
Oh dear. Even if you manage to convince your husband that you wore chain link underwear beneath a deep sea diving outfit, which was fully covered by a space suit complete with helmet, the fact is that you voluntarily got between the sheets with another man.
You were there at the same time as he was. Not good at all!
A married woman has to go home to sleep, unless she is away with her husband or family. End of.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Was your elevator stranded over night? Was there a tsunami and you guys were all together under a big tent? Where you camping with the Boy Scouts and all Sleeping around the campfire? I guess the real question here is, What does your "significant other" think?
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 March 2010):
1) It depends on what you were doing in the bed in the first place. i.e. where you there because you just needed to sleep?
2) It depends on whether there is a serious emotional connection between those two in the bed. There is a physical affair, and then there is an emotional affair.
I would suggest that if there is a connection, then there are problems in the marriage that need to be addressed.
...............................
A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (1 March 2010):
 There may not have been a physical involvement, but was there an emotional one?
If so, you cheated.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): I think different people have different ideas as to what cheating is. I suppose physically, no, I would say it is not cheating. But it depends on why you (if it is you the question is referring to) slept with another man. If you wanted to have sex with him, then while you didn't cheat the desire to do so was there. Or it could be that you are missing something emotionally from your marriage, and are seeking that from someone else. Either way, whether it is cheating or not, I think it does indicate a problem in the marriage, and that you feel you are not getting something you need or would like. x
...............................
A
female
reader, Araelia V +, writes (1 March 2010):
 It depends. If you feel like you cheated on him then maybe you should confront your husband and tell him what happened. You should tell him anyway, it's nicer to know from you than someone else. If you have a history with this guy you should definatly tell your husband, if he knows he can try to prevent you from doing something you will later regret.
...............................
|
