A
male
age
36-40,
*CC
writes:My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago, at the beginning of December. We had been dating for 14 months. I fully understood her decision to break up with me, as I had struggled to get over a previous ex, which caused my girlfriend to fall out of love with me. She states that she wants to be single.At first I couldn't accept or understand it and called her constantly, e.t.c. But got to the stage where I am now, where I can go without talking to her and not really mind. Then today she called me and said she missed having sex with me and that she wants to do it one more time with me. Since splitting with me, she has been seeing someone else, but hasn't slept with him yet. I have also met another girl, but don't feel as if I am ready for a new relationship. My dilemma is that, she has made it clear that it would be a one off sex session. But i still harbour strong feelings for her and think that it might be a good idea to sleep with her, as she might change her mind.Please advice me. Thank you
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male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Always a bad idea.
A
male
reader, CCC +, writes (2 January 2011):
CCC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. I'm going to ask to meet her in neutral surroundings and try to talk to her about how she is feeling. As she obviously has contradicting emotions about whether she wants to be with me.
I would hate to get to the point where she is using me for sex and then finds someone else and leaves me in limbo. I don't think she would jump into bed with another guy as be happy. As she said she wants to do it with me because she is still in love with me and it is special. However she made it clear that it would be a one off and not to expect us to get back together, as nothing would change.
I think maybe she is either desperate and wants sex or she has feelings which she thinks she can get rid of by having sex. Either way I am quite confused as she was the one who split up with me.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 But it could be the closure she needs. It was for me. Honestly breaing up and not knowing if the other person has moved on is way worse then anything. You telling her no thanks will cause her to wonder, think more about you, ask if youve moved on, why you dont want to, if you still love her etc. If you do ur just being used.
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A
male
reader, CCC +, writes (2 January 2011):
CCC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think her thinking if that she thinks it will bring us [her] closure.
She has stated that she wants to be single, but she has kissed some guy a couple of times... but he is a lot older than her and also has a kid and lives with the child's mother... so it seems like a rebound...
I still have strong feelings for this girl and would like to give it another chance. I thought that by sleeping with her it might awaken the love we once had.
I fear by not sleeping with her she will just get it elsewhere and be able to move on quicker. I kind of feel like this is the last chance to salvage the relationship, as she obviously still has raw emotions.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (1 January 2011):
 It really would be a very bad idea to have sex with her.
She is seeing another, and you have met someone you're starting to be interested in.
If you want to try to work things out with your ex, you need to meet and talk and see if you can resolve your issues.
If you don't think that's possible, and you're still having a hard time getting over your feelings for your previous ex.
Better, in fact, to not get involved in another relationship, but to take time to yourself, on your own, to sort things out with yourself.....
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (1 January 2011):
I have been in the same spot as you. Really if you still have feelings for her then after you've done it youll have to go through the process of constantly wanting to talk to her. For her it could really just be sex that she wanted. If you do it, you could be the only one getting hurt.
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