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female
,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend wants me to call out my ex boyfriends name when we are having sex. i find this uncomfortable. is this normal?
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female
reader, joeymac +, writes (12 September 2006):
maybe he likes the torture side to sex, it would definately torture me if my bf shouted his ex's name out during sex
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): Thats just funny. You have to laugh that off and just say in a jokey way... "you freak" and dont do it. But dont take it seriously. Just laugh!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): If it is something that strikes you as odd and makes you super uncomfortable and if you even try it once and feel bad and guilty...then don't do it.
I agree with talking to him and asking the whys to gain a better perspective.
After that, give your decision.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Yeah, thats a new one to me but weird as hell nevertheless. I for one don't want to even think about my girl being with someone else much less call out their names. You all should talk and figure out what it is that is going on in his head. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Hi Anonymous,
Regardless of what he wants you to do, if it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it.
But now about the actual request: At first I found his request strange, but then I actually thought that maybe he gets turned on by being abused in some way. I might be totally off, but that's just what I gather from your short post.
You might find that he's into the female being dominant over him... And there are quite a few people who are into that, so it's maybe not as abnormal as you might think. It's just a fetish! There are tons of different fetishes out there and maybe your guy just falls into this category. That's the only logical explanation I could come up with, anyway. And it really does seem like it would make sense.
You might want to have a discussion with him about why he wants you do yell your ex's name. Maybe you two could figure something else out if he is into what I mentioned above - something that wouldn't make you feel so uncomfortable but rather enjoy the experience like you're supposed to be doing.
The bottom line is, though, don't do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable but do see what his intentions of you doing this really are.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, logan9 +, writes (8 September 2006):
I think you two need to talk, ask him why, if you are going to stay together for many years you need to find out what you both like not only in sex but other thing as well. If you dont like him wanting this you need to let him know now, if you leave it, it will only get harder to tell him.
anyway when you haved talked and know what his fantasy is you might be able to modify thing to something you both like.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Thats a new one on me!! Sure hes not just testing you ? Or maybe he fancies your ex boyfriend ? Have you asked him why he wants you to do this ? Perhaps hes just seeing if you will! I think if your feeling strange about it ask him why but let him know either way you feel a bit odd about the whole thing.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (8 September 2006):
 In short...NO
I could maybe understand if he wanted you to call out HIS exes name, maybe as some sort of lesbian fantasy.
If he wants you to call out YOUR exes name, maybe he sees you as more of a sex object than a partner. It would not surprise me if he has a 3some in mind with another guy.
Maybe it is nothing more than a test, hoping you might react and say you never enjoyed sex enough with your ex and cannot possibly call out his name. He wants to hear that he is the best sex you have ever had, so calling out another guys name would be incomprehensible.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (8 September 2006):
 In my dictionary, normal means that which is not abnormal and my dear, thisis very abnormal. This is a sick, disturbing request if you ask me, down right weird. xXx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): My goodness, that is truely odd!
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (8 September 2006):
 I find this extremely disturbing and you are obviously worried about this...if you are uncomfortable with this, tell him...ask him why he makes that request of you and tell him that you would never want to call out your ex-boyfriends name because you would only ever want to call out his name...
The only explanation I can think of is that he is testing you to see will you actually do it! Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with, he should respect that.
best of luck
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A
female
reader, jn +, writes (8 September 2006):
 If you feel uncomfortable with it don't do it. Never feel pressured into doing some thing you are uncomfortable with. I would start off with asking him why he wants you to do this? Maybe he has sexual fantasies about the situation or maybe he likes to degrade women. Who knows, was he serious?
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