A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has been very depressed lately and he has been starting fights with me all of the time over small things......like making mountains out of mole hills. He recently told me that he needed some space and time to think about everything in his life. He added that he doesnt feel he can do me justice or do right by me. He called me 2 days later and told me that he had an appointment with a therapist next week, asked me how I was doing and said that he just wanted me to know that he was thinking about me. What does this all mean? Is he going to break up with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Thank you Rosalinda and Heartly. I am going to give him the space he needs and I will not contact him even though I want to. I know that if I contact him he will perceive that as neediness and me pushing him and that is the last thing I want to do. I have been trying to keep myself busy; its hard not to think and worry in this situation but I'm trying.
A
female
reader, Rosalinda  +, writes (5 December 2007):
Relax, I agree with bqagirl.
You act differently when under pressure, stress and mental anguish. Let him seek the counclling he needs, for this way he can cope with his problems.
It will be hard sometimes, he stills cares about you a lot,- he's checking up on you.
My advice would be for you to be there but let the profesionals do their job.
A long a he loves you well and true, be with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Thank you both for your responses. I can see where you both are coming from with your answers and I appreciate both perspectives. I really hope that bqagirl is right! I thought we had something special together and hopefully he just needs some time to get himself together. He told me the day before he needed space that it was 120% not me. I'm hoping thats not the standard break up line that is used to avoid hurting the other person's feelings.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 I'm sorry, but he might be thinking about breaking up with you. Asking for "space" is always a bad sign.
His calling might simply mean that he's checking on you to see if you're OK. It doesn't necessarily mean he loves you.
If I'm wrong, and I hope I am, he will come back to you naturally. Don't push it.
Now, you also need emotional stability and a clear understanding of where you stand with him. Don't communicate with him in any way if he won't; but, if he does, ask him to give you an idea of what is really the matter, and whether he thinks to come back. If he won't be clear about this, or if he won't give you a date to come back, then you will be sure he isn't into you anymore.
But, like I said, I hope I'm wrong in this.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Heartly +, writes (5 December 2007):
 in this case , i think that there is something else bothering him . if he is going to seek counciling for it ,I would suggest that you give him his space but let him know that you care and will be there for him if he needs you .and just dont freak out , wait it out ! and dont call , let him call you . he called to let you know that he was seeking theropy ,so i think his issue isnt with you , and if you just step back and let him get it figured out he will have to respect you for that . so many of us women freek if the man starts to pull away and the we start to act desprate.... Dont do that !
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (5 December 2007):
 I dont believe this is the end of the relationship. Give the guy a break. He is just going through some self problems and needs some time alone to think. When people are really stressed over things, they let so much build inside of them and tend to take it ouot on anything that comes there way so dont worry ( its not your fault.) He just simply needs his space to learn how to cope with all that he is going through. Let him know what you feel for him. Tell him you love him and you'll always be by his side. Say things that can bring a smile on his face. When he has his little space, the both of you should plan a special day for yourselves. Time away from home, work and anything else that may be a little heavy in your lives. He wont leave you. Try and understand that he is just having self problems that maybe you wont be able to fix for him, but you'll sure be able to stick by his side and help him cope with it. Good luck to both!
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