A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do you believe anyone and everyone is capable of finding love if they put in effort to do so?Thanks for answering :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (24 October 2011):
 I don't agree, worldly, and this is why.
If you look at TV shows like "Millionaire Matchmaker" those people DO have perfect movie lives, yet they almost always have some sort of character flaw that has prevented them from finding that "lottery".
A lot of people have to work on themselves to be worthy of love. Almost no one is perfect, and those that have glaring character flaws MUST CHANGE in order to find happiness and love.
Being worthy of love is 'who they are'. The things that make a person worth loving are intrinsic parts of their personality. It's not just about being "open" to love, it's about working towards being a person who CAN have a successful long-term relationship with another person.
Not everyone can or is even willing to do that. Many people have the ultra-selfish "me first" attitude of "take me as I am or don't take me at all" and then wonder why they're single. Some folks NEED to better themselves in order to find and be worthy of that "lottery", period.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, by putting in effort I meant just not sitting around complaining about not finding love. I find that some people(mainly girls) will complain and complain about a lack of love life, but they never do anything to improve their situation.They just expect girls or guys to flock to them and automatically know they are interested.Thanks for all of your input. It's all very helpful and great!
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Do you know back in anicent greek times people beleived that the gods first made these great beings and creatures but one day the gods decided that these creatures were too strong for there own good so he split there soul into two which is where the great word "soulmate" comes from. I gusse there is abit of truth in that tale as you meet people who have speant the whole life switching partners being in love with one person one minute and someone else the next and then you meet these other couples who knew from the moment they saw eachother they were meant to be. Like worldlywise said love is like a lottery you just have to be in the right place at the right time to find the right person so for that reason i beleive everyone can find love it will either come to them or they will find it.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (23 October 2011):
 I think everyone is capable of finding love somehow, whether they go out and look for it, or it kinda falls into your lap.
Firstly, all these adverts for dating sites make it sound like love is just around the corner. Well i signed up to one and everyone i met just wanted sex, so i deleted my profile.
As other posters have said, it's more about being happy and confident within yourself that's going to get you noticed by men (and more importantly, the right kind of men!) I've witnessed groups of men set their friends challenges to pull the drunkest girl in a bar...)
I suppose there is an element of putting some effort in when it comes to finding love. Going out and having a good time with friends, looking and feeling good about yourself. I have a friend who for a long time was very insecure about her figure after having her son, we went shopping one day and found her an outfit that totally flattered her shape and she looked incredible in it. We went out a few days later and every guy in that bar was offering to buy her a drink, she came home with 10 phone numbers!! All because she oozed confidence in herself, her outfit wasn't tight or skimpy. She was amazed that a single mother could get so much attention!
So, just be happy within yourself and you never know what might happen. Good luck! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2011): I don't know about putting the effort in...you can have an amazing movie type life with everything you need but at the end of the day its WHO you are and being open to love.
I think love is a lottery, right place right time...not everyone can fill every second of their lives and mr right just strolls in and joins onto it..I am put off by a man who is ultra busy its like 'where do I fit in'?
I think if you look after yourself physically and mentally,being happy and confident - be open to meeting somebody..fate or friends will steer you in the right direction.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (23 October 2011):
Simply? Yes.
A longer answer: Absolutely. Although many people are not mature enough to put forth the effort to find a suitable partner and be WORTH loving.
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A
female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Are we talking about people, things, or both?
I think that most people fall in love, though that may not be with another person. People love activities and concepts and animals and all sorts of things. Romantic love is but one flavor in a veritable pantheon of passion.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 October 2011):
 Yes and not. I mean, yes , but we would have to define what putting in effort means.
Perhaps putting in effort is not signing up on countless dating sites or making the rounds at countless bars and clubs . In fact, often it feels that the more you push the more they pull- away from you . The more you want a partner SO badly, and the less he seems to be likely to be found.
Perhaps putting in the effort is putting in effort on you . The effort of building for yourself a good, fullfilling, rich, complete life, with a job you like, friends, hobbies and passions, a sense of purpose in life, goals to reach... so that all in all you are happy with yourself albeit partnerless, and if you should meet a possible candidate, you can INVITE him to join all this bounty, rather that having to snatch him in order to feel complete or to provide the missing piece in your life.
Putting in effort could also be opening your heart, and learn to look through your heart eyes, so that you don't bypass what could be a great mate because of things like : too fat / too slim / his car is old/ he does not make as much money as your ex etc.etc.
Or , it could be working on your weak points : insecure ? self doubting ? ugly duckling complex ? envious?...Always ask yourself if you want a man because you want him, or because you NEED him,- to relieve boredom , or loneliness,or to be " like everybody else "-partnered, or to feel that you are beautiful and desirable etc....
I think that all what comes from a true, sincere desire can happen, and easily and naturally too ; everything which comes from a place of need or deprivation, is difficult, unfulfilling and disappointing.
Yeah, I know this sounds very new-ageish :).Very Law-of -Attraction-ish. And yet,I saw it happen, in my life and in other people's life. So... maybe it's worth a thought.
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