A
male
age
30-35,
*igMac92
writes:Okay so im haveing alittle trouble deciding what to do. So ill start off in the beginingSo my freind started dating this girl. they were going out for the past 4 months and in that time the three of us would hang out alot. Now my friend is kinda of quite and wasnt great at keeping up a converstation. So this let me and his girl to talk alot. So now that the school year is over she has left for college early and her a nd my freind decided that neither of them want a long distant relationship, so they broke up.Then i get a text from her saying she is coming back into town in two weeks and wants to hang with me. that the entire time she was dating my friend she really wanted to date me. Now ive never had a girlfriend before and im still a virgin. So im almost positive that its a sure thing. So i tell her that if we do hangout that i would have to clear it by my freind first, out of respect of our freindship. So told me not ot tell him because he would know that she always wanted to date and it would hurt him. So now i have to make a decition, its either i tell my freind and risk that this not happening or just go alone with it and never tell my friend.
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male
reader, BigMac92 +, writes (15 July 2011):
BigMac92 is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey i want to let you guys know i told my friend about it and he said to give him alittle more time to think it over. but i think he will be okay with it.
A
female
reader, AgonyAuntiee93  +, writes (14 July 2011):
Just think to yourself 'do I love this girl enough to lose a friend over?' and do what you instinks tell you to do!
You might only date this girl for a couple months, but a friend stays forever. Its completely your coice, but make the choice thats best for you, not anyone else..
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Considering this is probably a longer term friendship that you have with him I would definitely ask him if he is ok with it. The willingness to throw away a good friendship for a girl is generally a stupid move because in the end your friends would stick with you trough bad times but the girl probably won't.
Ask him and if he is cool with it then go for it. There is no harm in asking but if you try to sneak behind his back it will be even worse and he will find out eventually.
I put my friends through alot when I was in some relationships trying to get sex and I'm lucky to still have them as friends. If I could go back I would never put them through that garbage again. It's best not to test the friendship when you can avoid it.
If you don't care what he thinks then at least have the deciency to tell him ahead of time so he can deal with it. Don't let him find things out from random rumors that he hears.
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A
female
reader, carebare +, writes (14 July 2011):
I think you need to at least tell your friend that you two are going to be hanging out. He may not like it, but it's still up to you whether you see her or not. Either way, you should tell him because assuming things go well and you two do end up dating, you can't hide it from him forever.
If he's a good friend, you can't lie and do things behind his back. And if they broke up on good terms, chances are he might be ok with it anyway. Even if he does tell you not to, try to reason with him and figure out why he's not ok with it.
Dating a friend's ex is often frowned upon but not uncommon. Dating a friend's ex behind his back would make you a bad friend so if you value your friendship at all, tell him.
Best to all of you
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (14 July 2011):
 nope imo she doesnt sound like shes trustworthy or worth the risk.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): I think it's important you tell your friend. By keeping this from him, your risking him finding him out later and then it means you've not been honest.
Explain to him that its not serious yet.
you also have to understand that his exgirlfriend is offlimits as it is, I would Absoulutly tell him, what ever the cost. Then that way you've been honest.
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