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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi everyone. My problem is that I am in love with my housemate. A few nights ago I thought he knew how I felt because he apologised for upsetting me when he kissed another girl when we were out. Now he's going out with her, and I want to tell him how I feel. Should I wait to see if he notices that I'm upset, or do I just tell him regardless of what it might do to our friendship? Any advice much appreciated! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): You're still lucky because you are a girl. I am a gay and my sexual orientation is still undercovered. I've been in love with my housemate since 6 months ago and cant help it.
At the first time, he didn't know at all until once we argued because he felt somethin wrong happened between us. Yea, I must confess I can't hide my feeling deep inside here. But, I pretended as if I didn't like him at all, even as a friend, since ever. I do this because I know it's the best thing for him.
If you are really in love with him, than the best way u should do is do the best thing for him, not for you. If you think you really deserve him rather than the girl he kissed, just breakthrough and tell him that you are the one he should hav kissed that night. Sacrifice for your love, honey. Dont be scared
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (19 October 2005):
 Hi there, I think I am in a position to give you advice on this as I am in that position myself. Well, kind of as this is the post relationship problems that im dealing with right now. We were housemates before and somehow, 5 months down the line being housemates, we kissed and the rest was history. We got together for about 7 months but always got into arguments. We splitted up in June and we 're still housemates now. Thing is, we never really had closure. It was really difficult initially as we tried hard to avoid each other. She was always trying to get into arguments with me initially during the break up but mellowed down after a while. I guess she's moved on and so have I but one thing Im really sure though, we will never go back to the way we used to be when we were just platonic housemates. We still talk to each other now but there is still just something missing. Thats why Id suggest for you to be really sure of what you're doing as once done, its irreversible. Getting into a relationship with a fellow housemate is very dangerous grounds and if ure not careful, both will get really hurt and then one will have to move out, etc. Think about this.
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female
reader, wishes +, writes (19 October 2005):
 If it was only that you started to have feelings for your housemate, or you just felt attracted to him, I would say dont do anything because it may cause havick on your friendship. But you are in love with him! Those are big words, and if you mean them completely, you should tell him how you feel. He may worry that you are only feeling this way now because he is with someone else, but just assure him that you have felt this way for a long time and couldnt keep it in any longer. Dont put any pressure on him for returning the feelings. He may really like this other girl and want to give it a good shot with her. Will you be able to handle living with him if he doesnt feel the same way? This is something you really have to consider because it is a possibility. Guys dont take hints. So you cant wait for him to work it out. He may have only apologised to you because he left you alone when you went out together. A girlfriend may have apologised for doing the same thing. I would recommend to not completely come out and say that you are in love with him, those words might scare him off. Just say that you do have feelings with him, and want to give it a go with him. Best Wishesx
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female
reader, bee +, writes (19 October 2005):
this is a very tricky one... I think he may have been testing the waters when he said sorry for upsetting you.
However, he may simply have been sorry and wanting things to be fine between you as housemates...it depends what else has been said. How did he know you were upset?
Basically, the fact is now he's with someone else.
It's hard to know how to advise you without knowing how serious he is with this other girl.
But, I think if I were you, I would try to go with my instincts..I'm sure you have some idea if there is a mutual attraction between you - you should be able to feel the tension and he would be a bit flirty at the very least.
If there are some signs, then try and have a few drinks with him and bring the conversation around to relationships. From there you can let him know you would be happy to date himn with a few well-chosen remarks.
See if he takes the bait and tread carefully - you have to live with this person so it'll be doubly tough if you fall on your face. i wish you the best - good luck! x
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