A
female
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anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been in a relationship since June this year, and he has never said "I love you". He says he loves being with me and can't imagine his life without me. He says he thinks I'm perfect like an angel. When songs come on that talk about love he will grab my hand and squeeze it tight and look me in the eyes. Sometimes he also sings love songs to me.I am wondering why he hasnt actually said "I love you" yet? Is it because he doesnt love me, too afraid to say it, or unsure or what? I love him, I havent told him that because I am too scared too. We have talked about moving in together, marriage and kids already.What upsets me most is I know that he told his ex (hes only had one gf before me) he loved her when they only went out for 3 months. She broke up with him, I know he was pretty hurt by that in the past. Maybe that has made him scared to say it? We havent had sex yet because I believe in waiting till love. I have told him that. I told him that when we first started dating. He has asked me other times during our relatioship if I was ready to have sex and each time I have told him I want to wait till we have been together for longer and are in love. We have had that conversation twice and both times he said "I am falling in love with you, but I dont want to say it now because you will probably think I am only saying it to get into your pants". I am 20 years old and my bf is 25.
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (4 November 2009):
 But do you really want to base your relationship with him on how his relationship wen with his ex girlfriend? at the end of the day he split up with her and now has you, something obviously wasn't right in that relationship, therefore it didnt work out. Just try and take things one step at a time maybe he doesn't want to make the same mistakes with you as he has done in the past.
Personally with one of my partners i told them i loved them from 2 weeks into the relationship, then another one i waited a bit longer in fear of doing the same mistakes over again. You learn by your past mistakes and you grow stronger because of it.
Why not just tell him you love him and see if he says it back. When you say it and if he doesnt say it back don't be hurt, at the end of the day he is still with you and obviously like you very much, it may just take him a bit more time. He may actually want to say it to you first but is afraid of rejection or you not saying it back however if you say it first you never know he may just pluck up the courage and tell you he loves you too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know you all said maybe he just thinks its too early as we havent been together for very long. But the thing is, he told his ex gf he loved her when they went out for no more than 3 months! And we have been going out for 5-6months, so almost double amount. Thats what worries me. I feel like maybe Im not good enough or something. He even wrote her love poems, he showed me very early in our relationship. He hasnt written any for me.
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A
female
reader, talker  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 As most of us women do, we get into our own head and start to concentrate on all the the things we would like for him to do and where we want things to go instead of enjoying what is happening and developing at the moment. I think it is wonderful that you have found someone who doesn't say "I love you" to get into your pants. He is being respectful and waiting for you to be ready. Here is someone who sings to you and clearly likes you...and who you seem to have a good time with. So, my question to you is, what's the rush? Enjoy it. Enjoy him. This is a good thing. You wouldn't want him to say it when he doesn't mean it, but at least you know that the day he says it, that he'll mean it with all his heart. It's too early either way. If you were to say that you had been with him for years and he never said that, then I would worry. In the meantime, congratulations for falling. :)
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A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (3 November 2009):
well myabe he doesnt have very very strong feelings about you however is unsure if it is love or not? Or maybe he just wants to wait until the right time to tell you. You have both only been seeing each other for a few months and maybe he thinks its early days?? everyone is completely different when it comes to love but what i suggest is that if you truly know you do love this man then if i were you i would let him know and maybe he'll surprise you by saying it back
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): I am betting he will tell you he loves you when he actually loves you. In the meantime don't worry too much about it, you've only been together for a few months. If you love him though, why not tell him?
That was a very good way to handle the whole sex thing though, in my opinion. I used to find it a little hard to tell guys how long I wanted to wait with sex, but waiting until you are in love sounds great. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 November 2009):
Well it sounds like he really does love you, because he is at least showing it. Don't underestimate how shy and utterly terrified men can be to utter the words 'I love you'. He is showing you he loves you, and I relaly think he does. You could tell him you love him, but don't expect a reaction, or you could just let it develop. He's probably just scared. Give it time and enjoy knowing that he is showing you that you're loved.
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