A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a 2 year relationship with a lovely guy. He's caring and we have a lot in common in terms of our principles,and I would have always said that we loved each other and saw our future together. We have complete trust which I know is really difficult to find in a relationship. I would never have expected to be able to feel something for someone else, but i met a guy a few months ago who is mad about me and i have slowly developed stronger feelings for. I keep trying to make the decision to stay with my boyfriend but i can't seem to stop thinking about the other guy. Nothing has happended with the other guy but i know I need to make a decision very soon as its affecting everything i do and it upsets me too much to think about losing eother of them. People keep telling me to follow my heart but i really don't know what I want especially as it means breaking someones heart. can anyone offer any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): LOVE SUCKS
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I am in the same boat. i have a girl i've been with for over two years but i just can't seem to keep on track. My feelings for this other girl are skyrocketing. everyday i seem to be growing farther and farther appart from my girlfriend and personaly cant imagine what she would do if we were to break up. is there an easy way to break this ice...
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female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Hi,If you really love your boyfriend, and are satisfied with the relationship, you will try to understand yourself. Are you extremely flattered by the new guy or is there a stronger feeling for him? Stronger than the love you hsve for your boyfriend? My suggestion is that you think hard, and pretend that you were not with your boyfriend any longer. Then do the same for the new guy. Which would hurt the most? Which situation would you not be able to deal with? You might just have your answer. Best of luck to you.
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (24 January 2008):
One bird in the hand is worth ten times more than one in da bush.Personally,i would advise you to focus on your current bf but since the other guy has you questioning your love for him,i would suggest that you spend some time away from both.That way it'll be easier for you to know who you love.Maybe you never loved you bf at all or maybe you are just infatuated with this new guy.Give it time and don't rush.Imagine you get serious woth this new guy then the feeling starts to fade,how would you feel.About your bf,you two seriously need either mend up or give each other space.Good Luck.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): WE HAVE COMPLETE TRUST? yet youve been testing the water else where. You are not worthy of that trust. Move on to the new guy and leave the trust giver to give his trust to someone who deserves it.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 "The fact that you are even thinking about another guy, to my mind means you are not happy with the one you are with now"
... Or you are both going through a bit of a rough patch. Perhaps you're after the initial excitement you get in the beginning of a relationship? I think you need to take time away from BOTH and work out what you really want.
Best of luck :)
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 It's possible your boyfriend shouldn't trust you so much. I'd bet that there is some sort of strong flirting going on between you and the other guy. It's natural, to some extent.
You will always meet people you're attracted. The problem is if it hits you at a bit of a weak moment and you let it grow into something. If you feed the monster, it will grow. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't stay with your boyfriend but you should figure out what you want. Just remember that as long as your nurturing this other guys efforts and enjoying the attention, you're not playing fair. Your boyfriend is in a war he's not even aware of.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Sorry, but I dont agree.
The fact that you are even thinking about another guy, to my mind means you are not happy with the one you are with now. Also, this new guy may well turn out to be the love of your life, but you have doubts in your mind so I dont think that he is right either.
I think you need some time away from both of them, to see how you really feel. And like you say someone is going to get hurt, without a doubt. They dont need to find out, unless you do something silly. If you take the time away from both of them, you will have a clearer head, and be able to make a clear Decision.
XX
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A
female
reader, Sams_WonderWoman +, writes (24 January 2008):
 I think that it would be wise for you to stay in the relationship with this wonderful man who treats you with respect and trust!! And you stated that you're still happy with him!! My word, girl what are you thinking? Throwing away a wonderful relationship with a man who absolutely adores you for a man that you have these feelings for? For all you know he could be either abusive, a cheater or married! I would consider staying with your current relationship. It is hard to find a man like your bf and you are very fortunate to have a man like him. Don't throw away your "gold" for a piece of "rusty metal" just because you like the color at the time! You don't want to make a horrible mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life!God Bless you in your decision, and I hope that you hold onto your "gold" for dear life!!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 To really know a person takes time , trials and experiences.
You may be attracted by the new man but you do not really know him well.
Would you choose some one of known quality or will you choose some one who you just know and of unknown quality?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
You said a few months ago you wouldnt have thought about leaving your b/f, The fact that this other guy is mad about you may have made you feel that early on feeling you get in a relationship. The butterflys when you see him and so forth love, You also said you have have complete trust hunny in your relationship now. The grass always looks greener on the other side sweetheart when someone is paying you so much attention. Ill ask you what I asked someone else. If you b/f was thinking the same as you are now how would it make you feel, If it were your b/f that had someone who fancied the pants of him right now and he was getting closer to her but didnt no what to do for fear of hurting you would that make you upset? I only ask you these questions so you can really think before you make your mind up, As that complete trust you have may soon be broken for good.
Before you listen to others saying go with your heart think how all that would make you feel first then come to a decition as you could very well be throwing away something so very special TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm with Mr. wonderful. but there is this guy on the side that I hang out with often after class. We don't do anything except watch TV together or play video games in his dorm room but there is definite chemistry. This is what I am going to do, I don't know if you will be able to do the same. And I have NO idea how it's gonna turn out. I think i am going to go on a break with my guy. I will tell him it's school related since I am graduating with my degree this year - he will understand. Once I am single, I'm going to test the waters with this other guy. If nothing works out, I will know it is just me getting bored of my old relationship and I will try and get more creative and stir things up to spice it up. This could go wrong however if well when we are on the break and he meets someone new and the other guy is not what I was looking for. But I figure that is a risk I'm willing to take. There are plenty of fish out there!Good luck!
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