A
female
age
36-40,
*i'joy
writes:Hello,im hoping someone can give me some advice..so ive been w/my boyfriend a little over 5yrs we have 2 children together absolutely almost perfect that is because when about 5yrs ago he slept w/1 of my closest friends.shes my friend but shes a hoe,shes slept with most of the guys in this city...but the more i think about it is like"u knew she was my friend,u didnt like her at all so what happened?".i feel stupid but then again it was my boyfriend who came upfront about it and told me.he said it happened when he was "dusted" Can or should I still hold it against him?if we werent quite serious but he was aware that was my friend..i cry just thinking about it..wat can i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): im sorry but you should never be with a guy who has cheated, especially if its one of your mates. once a cheater always a cheater! sorry to tell you this. how can you look at him the same way, i know its hard for you cos your married and all that, so really its up to you. good luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): Nah... it was a long time ago. If things have been good in the past 5 years why even bring it up. What the hell does "dusted" mean? Is that an euphemism for being high?
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (21 October 2010):
 You were betrayed by both your boyfriend and your friend. You have to honestly sit down and think is this something you can let go. Its bad enough that he cheated on you but to do this with a close friend of yours makes it even worst. They are both guilty and the way I see it if you stop talking to one than you should stop talking to the other since they both committed the same crime.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 It takes two to tango. Your friend and your boyfriend are guilty as charged. Just because she's a "ho" doesn't justify her actions for boning your man. What does "dusted" mean? As in high? So what, he's still aware of his actions..it's the same as alcohol it's easier to blame it on a vice than take responsibility of your actions.
Truthfully, you should write out the both of them..your friend is a piece of trash, who has a goal with sleeping with the whole city. And your boyfriend dabbles in drugs, not healthy when you have 2 children. Not to mention illegal. Both are bad influences and neither can be trusted anymore. Can you ever trust him again after he deceived you like that?
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (21 October 2010):
So it happened 5 years ago, but you only just found out about it?
It's natural for it to be a shock but is something that happened 5 years ago worth ending your relationship over?
Because if you can't get over it and stop holding it against him then he will end up resenting you too, and your relationship will just slowly fall apart before you know it.
I think if you really do have an "almost perfect" relationship then you will both be able to get past this. Concentrate on the feelings you have for each other now, and had for 5 years. Surely 5 years of history and a couple of kids is worth it?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): You don't tell us when he admitted this to you. Is it something you discovered recently or have known for some time? From the sounds of it he slept with your friend when you two hadn't been together that long and possibly before the 'serious' stage? how old are you/were you? we need to know more to comment properly I think.
if you knew this some time ago (ie, he confessed before either or both of your children) then you probably shouldn't have even had children with him so soon.
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