A
female
age
36-40,
*ngelfire1123
writes:I'm seeing a married man, I love a married man. He says he's going to leave his wife not because of me but because he's no longe happy in his marriage but some of the things he says about her I just don't know that I beleive him, How do i know if he is serious about leaving?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): You will know when he actually can proved the proof with divorce papers!
A
female
reader, michele61  +, writes (1 March 2009):
Hi there...I understand where you are comig from...stupidly got involved with s msrried man and lots of time alone and lies to everyone I know...run! If he lies to her he will lie to you....better you move on...I am trying to even though I love him deeply..Michele
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): Most men never leave their wife for the mistress. You are doing yourself a disservice by allowing this man to use you. Even if he did leave his wife why would you want to be with somone who cheats, lies and is disrespectful to his family. If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Run! Don't waste another minute on this loser!
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (25 October 2008):
 He has very little credibility. Neither do you. You are both playing with fire and starting something that is based on bad behavior and a lack of moral fiber. What is the benefit of what you're embarking on? Why do you want a man who wold behave like this? At the same time you need to see that what you're doing, on the scale of good and bad, is on the bad side. If he doesn't want to be with his wife, let him leave. Until then he gets sex from you and her and you get question marks?????? In the list of priorities, as they pertain to this situation, you are not at the top. That is what you need to understand. Would you want another person to do this to you if you were married to him. One last question, what happens if the two of you become a couple and he gets bored again?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Want to know if he is serious about leaving or serious about you? Easy, tell him you will only be available when he is not with his wife anymore. Then you will soon know how serious he is. Stop believing all the stories and excuses. If he is serious he will make a plan and move.
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A
female
reader, qslady1 +, writes (25 October 2008):
 First off, let me say that I was in your situation just about 10 years ago. Second, you will not know if he is serious about leaving until that time comes, if it comes. There are no guarantees. I was one of the rare exceptions. The married man I was having an affair with actually left his wife, divorced her and married me. Let me warn you that if you do decide to stay with this man, it will be a rocky road. There will be times that you will want to throw in the towel and call it quits and other times that you will want to hold on to this relationship with every fiber in your being! It will be a roller coaster ride of emotions most of the time. You have to keep the lines of communication open. Let him know that he can trust in you and in your love. Let him know you will be there to listen. All you can do is wait and see. In the end it will be up to you to make the decision as to whether this affair continues.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Based on the experiences of many women like you, he is anything but serious about leaving his wife. You are just a mistress providing free (or at least affordable) additional sex to a liar and a cheat. To him, you are folly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Is it any wonder you don't know 'what to believe' in this situation? My question to you poster is how long has this affair between you and the MM been going on? For however long it has been this man has been capable of deceiving someone very 'close' to him...that's a pretty major thing in my book. I'm not saying there is nothing good about this man you have fallen for - but there is no doubt that there is a side to him that is selfish and capable of on-going deceit. Why should he be 'honest' to you? Because he loves you not her? I doubt that's how it works. You'll only know he's serious about leaving IF you stop letting him have his cake and eat it too - so - ultimatim from you, me or her? You just need to be prepared to loose....maybe you won;t, but if the "staus quo" is no longer working for YOU...you need to bring it to a head one way or another.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 If you see a married person, there is a chance that this person won't leave his/her spouse for you. If we suppose that the person actually wants to divorce, which is not always the case, it is still necessary to determine whether the new person is worth the problems that will come with divorce. Often, the unmarried person is left waiting. And the unmarried person is always at a disadvantage; it is s/he who needs to be patient and wait for things of a "higher order".
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Most who are married do not leave their wives for a mistress. He's being dishonest in his marriage, so what's to stop him from doing the same with you? Quite often guys say they will leave just so they can have their cake and eat it too. I'd be careful with this relationship.
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