A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I left my husband for another man, after our marriage became passionless and I no longer loved my husband. I didn't rush into divorce, but moved in with the new man and things have been rocky but we love each other very much. Gave myself some time, now I'm ready to file for divorce and new man and I have talked about getting married, but I am really scared. Scared I'll just end up regretting the divorce because my marriage was "comfortable" even if it was stale and lacked true depth. Scared me and my new man will drift apart; that marriage is just an illusion; that everything has a shelf life; that I will wish I would've stayed with my husband because he was "safe" even though our marriage was passionless. But sometimes new man is difficult; high strung, hot tempered, blows hot and cold at times which confuses me, but always warms up again. He is definately more passionate, but it comes with a price. Is this just my fears in overdrive? Or am I making yet another mistake?
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female
reader, Rafaella  +, writes (7 February 2010):
you don't need to get married, just stay in a de-facto relationship....and if things go really bad, you don't have to deal with any legal papers between you two...keep the financial stuff separate two, as much as possible...
But yeah I agree with others, I don't think he is someone you should marry if you are coming here and asking about this. If you were confident about him, then you would not have found this website, right? You know the answer already...
A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 What do you have to marry this next guy for?
It's obviously not going to work by what you've written.
You're getting too serious too soon and it's all moving too fast and you're feeling out of control.
Take control of your life and step off the roller coaster.
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A
female
reader, curious0hot  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 You made a mistake by cheating on your husband. Divorcing him will be the moral thing to do, because it will allow him to move on with his life.
That said, I don't think you should marry the new man until he gets better control over his emotions.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 February 2010):
You're walking straight into another problem. You've gone from one man who was at one extreme, to another who is hot tempered, difficult and strung and blows hot and cold. Delay any idea of marriage to him until you have got rid of this divorce and really had time to think about what you want. Your gut instinct is telling you something is wrong with this new man, so listen to it and make a good decision over time.
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