A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need the christian advice. I have been dating "Ted" for 6 months now and he is a wonderful man. He is so important and special to me. Due to the economy a couple of months ago, his business failed and he needed to find somewhere to live. Due to his lack of finances I offered for him to move in with me. We are both christians and I believe this is wrong but at the time I knew he was struggling and I wanted to help. Now he is feeling convicted of living this way. And I understand how he feels. So he is now attempting to not have sex with me, because he believes this is a sin. He asked me to pray about this and ask God for help. I don't know what to do. What is the right thing to do? I would say move out but he can't afford that right now. And the more he stays the more I enjoy him being around which will make I harder if he decides to move out. Thanks for your advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): You like him, he likes you. Sex is good. You want to support each other. You don't want to have sex outside a marriage.
Get married.
Isn't that the simple thing to do?
A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Christian advice- no sex, no living together outside of marriage. Quit using finances and convenience as the excuse- Christians trust God to provide. It isn't your responsibility to "sin" and promote "sin" in order to "save" him.
You can only provide help up to the point that boundaries are not crossed. If "help" causes either of you to sin you are driving a wedge between yourself and God, him and God... and that ultimately is the worst sin to a true Christian. You cannot sin in order to provide help... that disqualifies it as help... instead it is harm.
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A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (2 February 2010):
 I am not especially familiar with the bible. However, I believe the unacceptable behavior (according to Christianity) is having sex; not just living with each other.As Christians, you should support him in his attempts to be celibate until marriage. Especially since his reason is a personal feeling of conviction/guilt. Nobody wants to feel that way. If you continue contributing to that, he will grow to resent you.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (1 February 2010):
 If you are both christians then by rights you should not be living under the same roof if you are not married. There are too many temptations from you both being alone together to sleep with one another. But you say you HAVE already been having sex so I don't understand why he's having a guilt trip now. Shouldn't the guilt trip have come when he slept with you outside marriage?
If his conscience is bothering him that much then he has 3 options, either finds somewhere else to live, refrains from having sex with you while you are both living together OR... marry you... simple!
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 February 2010):
 I think it's interesting that he didn't feel guilty about having sex with you BEFORE you guys entered into this living arrangement together, because I think most Christians would say that was your first no-no. Have either of you talked about getting married? (Maybe it's too soon to think about it). But I'm wondering if this is a tactic he is pulling on you to get you talked into marriage. Is that possible?
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A
female
reader, redpopstick +, writes (1 February 2010):
So God doesn't mind you sleeping together but does mind you living together? That is a tad contradictory. God will probably be happy that you have supported another person in a time of need rather than judging you, and if you still feel uncomfortable, then one of you could move out when you are both more financially stable
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