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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: i've been with my boyfriend for a little while now, and everything seems so perfect, he's rubbed me a bit down there, and so have i, but i could never rub him bare! i am scared of his penis for some reason and its so hard, he asked if i wanted to see it and i said yes, but as soon as i saw it i jumped and got so scared, ever since that i have been scared to death, is this natural? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Yes, touching him WOULD be having sex. Sex is more than just penetration, it is everything sexually. Even kissing can be considered sex. So if you don't feel ready to toss him off (I guess that means handjob?) then you aren't ready, and you only need to listen to yourself. Giving him a handjob is engaging in a sexual activity. And it can leave scars if you do it when you don't really want to.
Great that he understands, but you also need to understand what sex is about, it is not just about intercourse and penetration, it is ANYTHING sexually.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokay, i've had a talk to him about it, and he said that its completely fine, were not gonna go to anything like that until were both ready, thanks so much to everyone!
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male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Can you explain better what it was that scared you? Obviously surprise is to be expected and at your age a little fear is actually healthy but if you're terrified of it, that might be something to look into.
Also, though I lost my virginity very young as well I don't think "tossing him off" is a brilliant idea either. Do try to suspend all sexual activity until you're a little older.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni really appreciate everything you've said (by the way i'm the one who posted the question)
i already know i am not having sex until i am 16-17, i know i'm too young for that, its just he wanted to do other things like tossing him off, or just rubbing it, and thats what scares me most.
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female
reader, bella..  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 dnt let him do what he wants, you are two little enjoy your life without sex for now.. he should be respecting you...wait until you are ready....not yet...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Aww Lexie88 your freekn awesome.lol
xoxo dont ask, but best wishes questioner
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): They are TERRIFYING territory to negotiate, and absolutely scary at first. So scary that your only sane reaction at age 13-15 is not to even contemplate going near it.
'It jumped'...of course it did. Those things are not naturally inclined to be patient and behave themselves. But you, sweetie, will need to be patient and behave yourself. 13-15? Noooo. Don't go there.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Sweetie ~ You're not alone..I too am petrified of a penis..AND..I am very humiliated for it given my age..I am deeply in love with someone..the only man I've ever loved..and wouldn't you know he is hung, and when I say hung, I MEAN HUNG..12 inches..and equally terrifying he is incredibly expertised in the f*cking arena..Yes, I'M PETRIFIED OF HIS BIG D*CK and SEXUAL EXPERTISE..We are no longer involved..and I remain deeply in love with him and am so very depressed and heartbroken to the point that I will accept love but never again will I allow myself to fall in love, as I wouldn't be able to do so anyway because he still has my heart..BUT at least I'm not scared and a nervous basketcase about him like that..I hurt soo much..and I'm so sad, because I miss him.
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male
reader, spud8r +, writes (25 October 2010):
Yeah that's probably normal if you've never even looked at male porn to get accustum to it.
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (25 October 2010):
 There's nothing wrong with you; you're just nowhere near ready for anything like that. Don't do anything you're going to regret doing!
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Yes, it's natural for a 13-15 year old. It's your subconscious telling you that you're not ready for these things. As someone else here said, stick to kissing for now. If you go further because he wants to and you're not psychologically ready, you'll end up having a bad experience and it might affect your future relationships.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being ready. Listen to your fear...it's there to protect you.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (25 October 2010):
Either you have a real phobia, or this is just your first time seeing a penis. It can be scary at first, and you don't know what to think or feel.
I think the most common reason is that you aren't ready to see his penis yet. Being scared is your subconciousness telling you this isn't right for you to do, and that you need to back off.
If you are even allowed to engage in sexual activities (I suspect the age of concent is 16 in Britain so you are actually not allowed to do this yet..)I suggest you take it gradually and slow. Wait with seeing his penis until you are more comfortable with his body and your own body, and sexual activities in general. You could for example stick to rubbing the outsides of his pants, or touching him without seeing the penis.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): You're just not ready for anything like that yet. Which is normal, because you shouldn't be at your age.
Just tell him you want to stick to kissing for now, no penis's involved!
I think you're going a little too fast anyway.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Peek-a-boo! Pretty good scare before Halloween.
Now for me (not all women, girls), I don't like the sight of a penis. To me genitalia is rather odd looking. But hey, it's what God chose.
In my opinion, 13-15 is way too young to engage in sex. Please wait till the age of legal consent in your area. It should be in the 16-18 age range..don't hold me to it though. So keep it at dry humping for now.
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female
reader, mrs.ajg +, writes (24 October 2010):
 You're too young for sex honey. There's nothing wrong with you being scared.
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male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 well its sort of normal. what did you think it would look like?. it wont bite or scratch you though.lol. a penis is like a kitten, all soft and curled up. it comes to life when you stroke it, and when it gets its claws out...beware.
but in some ways its a good thing you reacted this way, you are not ready to take things further. you and this boy are going way too fast.
have a talk with your mom, and ask her to tell you about sex, and birth control before you go ant further. at your age you should have some basic knowledge of your body, and of his.
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male
reader, dantheman852  +, writes (24 October 2010):
Do you mean you were surprised? Or literaly scared? I assume this is your first 'penis encounter' so perhaps you just need to get a feel for it. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): I think you might want to wait for sex. If your afraid, your not ready.
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 If that's the first time you ever saw one, it's probably normal (either that or his member is frighteningly deformed and he should see a doctor about it). Maybe your reaction is a sign that you shouldn't be doing things with it until you're older.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 October 2010):
 You are much too young to be this intimate with this boy. The fact that his penis scares you shows you're just not ready - and at 13 or 14, you sure are NOT ready, either emotionally or physically.
Best thing you can do is to make sure you are never alone with him where he can take his clothes off and be touching you the way he is.
Not only that, its actually ILLEGAL to have sex with a girl your age......he could get into trouble with the law if found out. I mean it: STAY WELL AWAY from this boy! Tell your parents he's pestering you and you want him OUT of your life! He's not showing you the respect you deserve.
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