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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi I am 23 muslim girl from Leicester living with my parents. Nowadays I am recieving withheld number calls and threatening text messages. I had a relationship without my parents' acknowledgement. Now a guy knows. He has threatened to kidnap me unless I do what he wants. I can't go to the police or tell my parents because I don't want to get hurt in anyway. He has warned me that he will send photo at home in my parents' name.I am very worried and stressed I can't even sleep. Please help me find a way that I can get out from this situation.Thankyou
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): I hope you realise that you are an adult under Engish law, and if you explain to the police that your parents must not know then they should respect your wishes.But you must tell the police,or you might get hurt.
You are the important one here, not your parents or anyone else.
Obviously as a white English girl my understanding of your culture is not that of a Muslim, although as we share our land with so many Muslim people we can understand hopefully a little.But I do see that you would find it difficult to tell your parents.
Please tell the police though, put your safety above all else.NOBODY has the right to frighten you.
A
female
reader, jojo +, writes (16 August 2005):
Tell your parents, they will always stay true to you because they love you, make sure you tell them everything and that you have learnt from your mistakes and it won't happen again, i do think it is serious but i think whoever is sending the messages they will tell your parents anyway so it is best to tell them first at least that way you are abit in control of the situation. As for hurting your parents, it will hurt them if anything happens to you and they know they could have done something to help stop this from happening. stay true to yourself tell your parents and stay safe never keep things that are out of control to yourself, you need help and support and thats what your parents are there for.Good luck take care jojox
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (14 August 2005):
 You should report this to the police, sending threatening communications in the UK is a very serious offence. If there are threats to kidnap or kill, the police will help.
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (14 August 2005):
 It seems you've got yourself in quite a bit of situation there. I just dont understand one thing though, from what u wrote, it seems that you do know where the problem is and what to do to rectify it (if not, make it somewhat better)...but u just refuse to do it because you dont want to get hurt. You know all you have to do is let your parents know about this. Let them help you out as they probably have been there and have more experience about things like this than you have. I understand that you're afraid that if you were to tell them about the threats, you will also have to tell them about the relationship you had without their permission, but you know what, this is getting bigger than you thought it would be and if you dont wake up now and do something about it, its going to escalate into something you cant handle, and by then, it might be too late to do anything about it!! I really feel for you but taking the situation into your own hands wont solve anything, if anything, itll only make things worse. So, my suggestion is, please tell your parents what happened and perhaps they can help you out with it. They might choose to contact the police (which in my opinion is the best way to go about this) but whatever it is, at least you have a burden off your chest!! For your own safety, please tell your parents about it as soon as possible!!! Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, moomoomoo  +, writes (14 August 2005):
 threatening to kidnap you? you really need help, this is serious. you need help definitely, i think you should do wahtever you think will be safer for you and what will be best for the future, police of parents, but once my friends played a prank on me of this sort, it didnt last over a day though. what did you mean by "send photo at home in my parent's name"?
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