A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just turned thirteen and I found out I am pregnant with triplets I don't know who the father is I have been sexually active with over ten men the last year. I have lied about my age because I am very developed and I don't know what to do. I also found out I have vaginal herpes all over. I am scared to what my parents will do. I am too late to abort them and what am I supposed to do with three children and a unknown father. I am only thirteen I cant even drive!! PLEASE HELP!!!
View related questions:
herpes, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 19queen +, writes (5 December 2009):
 I feel so sorry for you, i seriously dont know what to say to this, I wish you and your kids the best in the furure, but i think first thing on the list is to sort out your herpes... and you might want to consider adoption, I know you would hate it but you're too young for triplets, you are going to be exausted, and no mmoney and the kids want to grow up being able to go on school trips, not having to sit with the kids the year below because they dont have enough money to go on them.good luck babe, you are so brave.xxxxxx
A
female
reader, askTasha. +, writes (16 September 2008):
Ok, firstly you have to go get the viginal herpes cleared. you either have to go see your doctor or if you dont feel comfortable doing that go to the family planning clinic, take a friend if that will help. The family planning clinic is totaly confidential and they can not tell your parents. once your clean from herpes you need to be clear in your own mind what you are doing with your children once they are born. you say your too far on to abort them but there are other opptions such as putting them up for adoption. Once you have made ur mind up you must go to your parents, again if it helps take a friend or an adult whom you trust with you. No doubt your parents will hit the roof and go mad with you once the find out but it will only be the shock of finding out there baby girl ( which you still will be in there eyes) is pregnant. You are best telling them as soon as possible rather than leaving it too late and them finding out the hard way when you start showing. plus once your parents know and have got over the shock they will be there to help and support you. I know from experience ( i have my own baby) thats its hard enought being young and pregnant your body will change quickly there are hormones and new feelings and emotions to go through it nice and helpfull to have someone there to support you through it and who better than your parents. just bite the bullet and get it over and done with you will feel much better once its all out in the open and your not carrying a huge secret like that around with you. hope this helps
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): I think your best bet is to have your babies and give them up for adoption. Give them to a loving family who can't have any kids. Then get to the doctor ASAP and get the STD treated. Most IMPORTANT STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX CUZ NEXT TIME YOU COULD END UP WITH HIV/AIDS. Consider yourself lucky.
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (13 September 2008):
 Does your pregnancy show at all yet?
...............................
A
female
reader, lollypop1 +, writes (12 September 2008):
omg ! it would be hard enough for you to tell your parents your pregnant with one baby! well i am 15 and a had a baby when i was 14 and i said i was drunk and i cant remember and i knew who the dad was but i didnt want to say. it is really hard with only one baby i hav 2 feed her every 3 hours and they would want your full attendsion you would have to make a dission and stick with it. but you would really need your parents help !! you would have to tell them some time because your time is limited !
...............................
A
male
reader, Short timer  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 wow...I hope this is a joke....wow the best way is just tell your parents straightout...we all make mistakes and we all have to pay a price for them...your parents are the only ones that you should go to right now...
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 September 2008):
 My suggestion is that you need to ask the doctor or counselor at the clinic that you went to. You must have seen a doctor to be diagnosed with herpes and to find out that you are carrying triplets. I'm actually a little surprised that the doctor didn't discuss your treatment options. And I think that generally carrying triplets would be considered a high-risk pregnancy, not to mention your age would most certainly put you in the high-risk category. When you filled out the paperwork at the doctor's office, did you lie about your age? You should NEVER lie to the doctor, they are there to help, not judge.
So I suggest you get on the phone with the clinic tomorrow, and ask for help and some family counseling assistance. They can refer you to someone who'll be able to help you tell your parents. Go to plannedparenthood.org for a referral if you need one, but I suggest that you use the clinic you went to for your initial diagnosis.
Alternatively, you can go to the guidance counselor at school and tell him or her what's happened with you and that you need some support in telling your parents.
One other thing you could do is to print out a copy of this page and give it to your parents, so that they can read what you're too frightened to tell them. You are not the only teenage girl who has had to tell her parents and I think that most parents accept the situation and find a way to help, even if they are angry at first. They'll get over it.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): hi, i wrote the story and its true! Please I need help! I didn't even make up the title to this story the computer or website automatically did. I need help! Please
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): follow ur heart!
try to be honest with them and they are gonna understand .. u are a little girl and u can have some mistakes but cuz of this don't try to kill 3 babies! keep them and if u can't take care of them try to find some information about adoption it's gonna be better for ya andd your family
kissss
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): Eyes, have I been fooled again... I'm sure she is alone and needs the understanding that only DC can provide.. but then again.. far along, triplets, her belly must surely be too big to hide... I'll give her the benefit of doubt, she's anorexic and the babies are small, surely that's the explanation to all your doubts??? :^(
...............................
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (11 September 2008):
 I'm wondering that as well Eyeswideopen...
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 September 2008):
 Aww come on, if you are 13 and pregnant with triplets, plus you are too far along to abort, I doubt if your parents wouldn't have figured things out by now. Fake post.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): i cant beleive your being told to put them up for adoption, does this mean that at 13 we have no feelings and can just give birth not once but 3 times and hand them over without a backward glance, shame on the person who wrote that, natasia gave you some sound advice, see the dr and get your infection cleared up, it may be that with a multiple birth you might be offered a ceasarian anyway so the herpes would not be a major problem, and sweetie you really do need mum right now, she might be angry for a little while and sad too maybe but i would bet my life she will be the best granny in the world once they come, who else is gonna help in the night, there are lots of support groups for young mums and im sure you can meet other teen mums along the way too and find out how they cope, look after yourself and eat properly and keep appointments with the dr, lots of luck would be great to hear from u again once you tell mum xxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): Hi babes,
Yes your situation is difficult, but we are aware that at 13 you are still a little girl. Please listen to the excellent advice given by Nastasia, she has children of your age, she thinks exactly as your mummy will as well. We need to keep you safe, we need to get you to a doctor to sort out the herpes problem and sort out what to do with the babies. One baby is enough for any woman, three at such a young age is suicidal. Forget about your many lovers, that's not important at the moment. You need to go to the doctor and you need to get your mum on board, they might be angry, but at the moment they will be more concerned about you. Please, please, please think about adoption, I very rarely suggest it, but in your case, it might be the best solution for you. Anyway, don't worry, you've been brave and told us and we are strangers and we understand, your mother loves you and she will understand as well. GO TELL YOUR MUM, she loves you more than anything else in this world, she will help you, she will keep you safe, and the doctors will try to protect you and make sure that everything goes well. Go tell your doctor and Go and tell your mum and sort this problem out. Blessings babes, take care of you, be brave, you made a big mistake, but once we sort it out, all will go well... Your too young to tackle all this alone.. :^)
...............................
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (11 September 2008):
After reading this again, I hope this is a true post and not some joke... but then again... it would be nice for it to be a sick joke. Then there wouldn't truly be a 13 yr old with all of this crap happening.
Geesh
Michelle
...............................
A
female
reader, miss know it all +, writes (11 September 2008):
sorry about the situation you are in but you really are going to have to tell your parents as you cant go through this by yourself hunny. Theres a chance they will be mad and it might take them a while to adjust to the fact that you are pregnant but when they are over that they will give all the help you need because at the end the day they love you to pieces. You really need to go to the dotors as they wil be able to help your vaginal infection, if you feel you cant tell your parents then see your gp in strict confidence and ask her advice and what you should do next. I wish you all the luck in the world and if you ever feel lonely dont be scared to send me a message im always here
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): Is this a joke???? personally I think it is, 13, ten men in less than a year, triplets and on top of all that vaginal herpies!!!!!! well, if you had time for school maybe non of this would of happened: 13,10 men, triplets + Herpies!!!! i don't know what to say, it's shocking. I do hope and want to think it's a joke!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (11 September 2008):
Are you pregnant with Twins or Triplets? Your posted question reads Twins, however; in your story you say Triplets? hmmmm
What you do, is tell your mother everything so she can get you the medical attention you need. With being pregnant and the fact that you have a STD. How did you find out you were pregnant and how far along are you?
Honestly outside of medical help, we can only let you know how to cope with this ignorance you have of all of this happening with you.
As far as finding out who the father is, you will have to have a DNA test done when the babies are born and the 10+ men that you slept with to get their DNA.
You need someone to talk to about sex and sexually transmitted disease and everything that comes along with it. You're in a major fix right now, but believe me, don't ask could it be any worse, because it can!!!
Go to your mother, or father. Whichever you feel closest too. If you are not close with either of them, one has to be a little more understanding than the other, so go to them. RIGHT AWAY!!!!!
Good luck, keep us informed,
Michelle
...............................
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (11 September 2008):
 Im hoping this is a real post and not someone messing around as this is serious if it is true...
Sweetheart you better get some serious advice from the family planning centre near you a.s.a.p and you had better tell your mum. I no this is going to be hard but its going to be harder as time goes on..Has the doctor mentioned to you if you are able to carry 3 children at your age?...You say your carring triplets so you have had a scan! And you have had tests for the herpes..
Genital herpes is an infection of the area in or around the vagina, the vulva (the lips around the opening of the vagina) and anus. It is caused by the herpes simplex virus.
If you catch herpes, you may notice painful sores in the affected area but you may not notice any symptoms at all. The virus stays in your body and can become active repeatedly.
There is a very small risk that you could pass on the infection to your baby during birth. This risk is very low if you first get genital herpes before you are pregnant but much higher if it first develops around the time of labour.
If a mother passes on herpes to her baby at birth the infection is known as neonatal herpes. Although it can be very serious, neonatal herpes is rare in the UK and treatment for affected babies is available.
If you get genital herpes for the first time while you are pregnant, you may be offered a drug called aciclovir to reduce your symptoms.
You should be offered a caesarean section if you develop genital herpes for the first time in the last six weeks of your pregnancy.
Most women who have genital herpes give birth to healthy babies.
http://www.childline.org.uk/Info/SexHealth/Pages/Pregnancy.aspx?gclid=COjWpMm81JUCFQ5MQgod6QfkXg
Ive found this link it offers support and free phoneline hunny PLEASE TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (11 September 2008):
ps and WOW! I've just read the other comments here - don't listen to that nastiness. OK, yes, you've ended up in a tricky situation, but you are only 13. I have a son who is nearly 13, and if he did something like you, I would only blame myself as a parent who wasn't close enough to my baby to be able to make sure he lived his life in a safe way. It ISN'T your fault - you are TOO YOUNG for it to be your fault. Never think that. You are just very young, and things have overwhelmed you, and you have done things that weren't a good idea, but you did them because you didn't really understand what you were doing.
You need love and understanding right now, not stupid twits telling you to learn how to change nappies and that you're a bad person. That is RUBBISH. OK? : )
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (11 September 2008):
It's simple. You go to your doctor and you get treatment for the herpes. Then you don't have to tell your parents about that. You just tell them that you are pregnant. You don't say about the 10 men. You don't say about the triplets, for now. You just give them the first fact. And you say you don't want to say who the father is.
Then you go for the first scan, with your mum, and you 'find out' together about the triplets. You will get so much support from your doctors, health visitor, the state, etc. - honestly, everyone will be falling over themselves to help you.
Your parents will probably keep asking about the father. You keep saying you won't say.
Then, later, when you are more pregnant, you confess to your mum that you aren't sure who it was, because there were TWO men. And then she has to deal with that. She is the adult.
I can't help feeling that as you are only 13, your situation is in some (possibly quite big) way your parents' responsibility as well. How come you were out and about having sex with all those men? You are still just a kid, or, a new and very young woman, and you don't know how to deal with the emotions and the sexual attention yet.
OK, here are your points of action:
No. 1. RELAX. It seems kind of bad now, but it won't be. People always have some major reaction when you're pregnant, even if you're 39 (: ), so expect that. But when the babies are born everyone will love them and everything will work itself out.
No. 2. Really make friends with a good, female doctor. Get someone on your side. Make sure you have someone you can tell the whole truth to, always. And remember, your situation, so young, is a bit unusual, and people will be v sympathetic and do all they can to support you.
No.3. Tell your parents as I said above (or just tell them everything at once - up to you).
No. 4 The herpes is easily fixed - just go to the docs, and don't worry about it - but go, like, tomorrow.
: )
You are going to be a mummy way earlier than most, but you have lots of people around to help you. It will be OK. You just need to start talking to people, and you will be amazed and touched how much love and support you will get. Probably your parents will just look after the babies and you will carry on at school.
Good luck, and talk here any time you need help.
...............................
A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (11 September 2008):
It's funny how you ask for help AFTER u've made not only ONE mistake, but several mistakes, from having sex with more than one man in the past year down to not being checked up early enough from the dr. I feel sorry for you, for your young, naive character. I suggest putting them up for adoption and get urself to the dr asap for the herpes.
...............................
A
female
reader, LovesJamie +, writes (11 September 2008):
Hello,
I am sure you are really scared of telling your parents and you have every right to be. It was a very silly thing to do and as you now know can have major consequences.
Your right what are you going to do with three babies?? Now that you can't abort you will have to have them and do the right thing by them whatever that might be. You thought you where old enough to get yourself pregnant well now you can be old enough to have three babies.
However you didn't make these children alone and will have to get all the men you have slept with to take a DNA test when the babies are born. Which ever man turns out to be the father of your babies you need to make help you.
As for having vaginal herpes you need to go to see your doctor about this and tell them everything that you have written on this website. You will just have to sit your parents down and tell them the truth. They will be very angry and shocked at first but hopefully will calm down after a while and have a talk with you. After you have told them maybe you should go and stay with a realitive for a while.
Now that you know what could happen when you have sex maybe after you have these babies you will wait a few years until you have sex again. Just because you have done it before doesn't mean you have to carry on.
Good luck. Everyone makes mistakes.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): You'd better learn how to change nappies.
...............................
|
