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female
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anonymous
writes: There is a man at my son's school who I have become very attracted to (yes I am a single mum). I know this guy is single unfortunately due to losing his wife to cancer.I would like to pluck up the courage to speak to him and get to know him but I am feeling like a teenager and because his daughter is not even in my son's class I don't know how to approach him and to be honest what would I ask him?Do I just accept that some things are not meant to be and I am never meant to speak to him or try and get to know him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007): Well, anonymous, who was holding onto whose arm? Was she holding on to his, or were they holding each others. Did you notice? There is a subtle difference here. And she may have only been a family friend. All may not be lost. You don't have to risk being called "on the move" if you ask a few casual questions of friends or aquaintences about Mystery Man. You might be surprised. And I think the other poster's ideas of a group "parent's social" is a good idea. That would take a lot of pressure off everyone and give you a chance to talk personally. I perceive you have not gotten beyond a nod or smile at the school, yet. I understand your shyness. But, men are really more perceptive than you think. He may well be wondering about you, too. Hmm, and I thought women were all naturally better at this stuff than we are,...(smile) Tom
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female
reader, ingotblue  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 Please dont feel like this, there is some one out there for every one and he may not have been the right one for you.
But please dont shelve any thoughts of happiness because it will come to you one day
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice everyone. Unfortunately today I saw this guy walking arm in arm (for the first time) through the school playground with someone. I feel such an idiot thinking that he may have even noticed me but that's life I suppose.
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female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (24 January 2007):
 This is a perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation with him! "I noticed you are parking down here now. It really makes it convenient to get out of here in all the confusion!" You can't know him if you don't speak to him. This is how relationships are formed! :) Put on your best smile, be relaxed, and just start talking! You can do this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn follow up to this question, I'm sure there is nothing in it but this guy always used to park in the top car park and occasionally look at my car when I drove through to the bottom car park (but then we all do that). However since late last year he has been parking his car almost behind mine nearly every day. I am assuming that he has decided like me that it is a good place to park to be able to get away after dropping off at school. I just find it strange that of all places he parks is just by me (apologies if I am jumping to conclusions).
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 January 2007):
 Hey again,
I think your daughter is close enough to your son in age. One year isn't too big of a difference. But I think "Lilly223" had a good idea of inviting them both over to dinner. "I'm sure it'd be nice to eat a dinner cooked by someone else, and I'd enjoy the company." is a great line. I think you need to work up the nerve to approach him.
Tell him his daughter seems like a great gal. Who doesn't like to hear compliments in regards to their offspring?
Take a deep breath and GO FOR IT! What have you to lose?
xxIndia
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice everyone much appreciated. What I should have also said was that what makes it more difficult is that his daughter is in a year below my son so as you can see our paths really do not cross. However in the last few days his car has been parked nearby mine (thats just coincidence) but as he was walking back from his daughter's classroom I was walking towards my son's and I went to look at him but he had his head down so I couldn't really do anything.
I don't think he is shy because he certainly chats to alot of other mums he knows at the school.
Any further advice on this would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 January 2007):
Hi there, sweetness!
Here's just a thought. Is his daughter close to your son in age? Because if she is, you could use that to benefit you. Go up to him and mention that you'd like your son to meet some new people to hang out with and you were wondering if maybe him and his daughter could come over to dinner some night - or go out to the movies with you.
That might be a good ice breaker... just a thought.
I think it'd be a great idea for you to approach him!! He'd probably enjoy the company.
xxIndia
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reader, ingotblue +, writes (9 January 2007):
hiya I think you shouldnt shelve any thoughts of being happy quite yet!
are your children friends? maybe you could arrange a party and invite his child to the party, sleep over, bowling party what ever you decide it to be, maybe get chatting to him that way, i know its not the weather for it but when it gets warmer maybe you could have a bbq invite all your sons friends over and this mans child and thier parents, telling them that they have to bring a dish with them for every one to share, that way you arent putting amy preassure on him because it is a group activity.
good luck x Oh and the smile is a great idea i think thats a good way to start
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female
reader, DeeDoc +, writes (9 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: I am hoping that you frequet your son's school. If this is the case, there is nothing more warm, friendlier and INVITING than a beautiful good ole fashioned "smile". Yes, a smile does wonders! It means, yes, I have noticed you, yes, I am friendly and yes, I am open for an invite. At this point, this leaves the ball in his park. He knows that you are interested without you even saying a word. And he also knows that it is okay to approach you. Therefore, if he is ready to get back into the dating field, HE will do the talking and it will not leave you in an awkward position if you approach him and he is not ready at this point for a new relationship. Good luck to you sweetie and PLEASE keep me posted.
xx
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female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (9 January 2007):
My suggestion... say "Hey, how 'bout coming over to my house for dinner next wednesday, I'm sure that it would be nice to eat a dinner cooked by someone else, and I'd enjoy the company. Please bring your daughter with you. I'd love to have you."
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