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I'm in love with my teacher. Should I follow my heart?

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2008) 25 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey!!Ok i've got abit of a problem i'm in love with my teacher but there's a 15 year age gap i'm 12 he's 27!!And has a girlfriend some people say follow your heart but other people say don't be so stupid!!I've a feeling that if i follow i could get hurt even more and cause alot more trouble!!I'm fed up being told it's not love it's just a crush and i'm too young but i know it's love!!So basically i'm asking should i follow my heart or what should i do??

Please help if you can please!!

xxxxxx

View related questions: crush, has a girlfriend, my teacher

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A female reader, caralj United Kingdom +, writes (6 December 2009):

i have exactly the same situation. i am 13 and i love my drama teacher. all my friends think its a crush but i told my best friend it not and what shoukd i do and she said ' make sure he knows somebody loves him' so i posted under the drama room door that i love him . but i didnt say my name. i AM still in love with him but i got it off my cheast now , but every drama lesson i look at him and cant concerntrate in lessons :( hope i helped :)

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A female reader, helpinhand United Kingdom +, writes (2 October 2009):

helpinhand agony auntI know what you are going throught i love this teacher to. he is soooo good looking but i dont know if he has a girl friend or not and i become very shy when i am around him. however lately he has said hey and waved to me like every time we see each other.

Also at my school a teacher and puple fell in love and in the end they got marred so it shows things can turn out for the best. I say tell him you have a crush on him the worst thing that can happen is him not felling the same way which you have to pre-pare you self for(Just incase)

Good Luck.x x x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009):

Hey sweetie pie I know how you feel. I'm 16 and I too hate it when people say it's just a crush. Even though you're younger than me, I'm not gonna say you are a kid or anything. I believe you when you say you are in love with him. I'm not a dream killer so when people talk about love I'm always sympathetic. It really sucks huh? When people hate and don't understand. I understand you. I'm also head over heels in love with a teacher I had my freshman yr. There is a 22 yr age difference but it doesn't matter to me. He is married with two kids and I want nothing more than for him to leave his wife for me. I know it sounds selfish but that's how I feel. (I know in my heart he wont because he's old-fashioned meaning that he has morals and he was raised right). My friends always tell me that I'm going to feel the same way about many other guys as I get older.

I wish you luck and if your teacher has an idea that you like him, I'm sure he wont be rude about it. I believe in you and I'm hoping that you find happiness in the decisions that you make.

If you think middle school teachers are hot, just wait till you get to high school, men get better with age!

Best wishes :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009):

This is really strange. I'm 12 (turning 13 this June) and I am in love with my teacher as well. He is so hot and I feel like he really understands me. It really hurts because I know I can't go after him and you can't declare your love for your teacher for these reasons.

1. He could lose his job, or go down for child molesting. Even if he didn't do anything.

2. Nothing would happen cause its against the law

3. Teachers aren't allowed to have romantic relationship with their students.

4. The chances are that he has a girlfriend

5. Things would be really akward and no offence he wouldn;t want you.

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A female reader, Kate. United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2008):

Hi, don't follow your heart untill your out of school as it would cause a lot of trouble.

But I know what it is like, i am totally inlove with my teacher and he is amazin and same as you i know its not a crush and that it is love and i think he likes me too but seriously doubt it.

If you wanna talk further just mail me.

ok.

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):

Trust me, I love my principal! lol. but I say think what's right to you If it feels like love to you then follow your heart. if ur not sure then just fantasize about him that's what I would do! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008):

Sweetie, the only people that will tell you to follow your heart are the other silly little girls that think they have a chance with their teachers. Stay well away. It's harsh but he isn't going to want to be with you. You are just going to make him uncomfortable around you. And anyway, in a years time you won't care anyway because that's what happens at your age, despite what you seem to think. We've all been there.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008):

yes i fallin love with ur teacher just hangout and when every go home be alone in the classroom and tell him the truth tHAT U LOVE HIM

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A female reader, anonymous08 United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2008):

anonymous08 agony auntright well lisen up DO NOT follow your heart unless you wantn broken of course hes got a girlfriend your 12 12 12 12 12 INO THATS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR BUT ITS MORE LIKELY HE DOSENT want you and hasnt go alusrt for you if he did he would ahve made it clear my dads a teacher for maths an all hes students like him but hes got me my brother and issters and my mum it scares him so much it scares my mum too i justlaughed when my friend told me she liked my dad when he worked at my school my dads what 39 and she was 13 i thought it was a sick joke until one day she came round to my house wehn i was out and my dad let her in to wait for me and she ted it on with him when i got home my dad was comforting my friend katie she was crying sooo much sayin what ave i done my dad told my um an i was sooo embarasd i didnt know what to do my dad had rejected her and shouted at her sas hysterical i was upset because she said but i thought we had somethingto my dad i was totally amazed but in my heart i knew my dad would neverdo anything like that

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008):

If he loved you back he probably wouldn't have a girlfriend. Also, you should think about what you know about him. What does he like to do? What's his favorite food? What is important to him? You probably don't know that much about him which means that you don't LOVE him, but maybe you REALLY REALLY like him. That's cool, it's easy to have a crush on a teacher. But please respect his job and his girlfriend's feelings.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

Sweetie, I know how real it feels, and I know how hurtful it is when people say you're too young and it's just a crush.

But here's a fact: you're underage... that means that if you and he did get together physically, it would be STATUTORY RAPE. He could get sued, he could get thrown in jail. And honestly, a grown-up man isn't going to want a holding-hands-only relationship.

So please don't say anything to him. If you did, he would HAVE TO reject you, and then you would feel crushed, and he would feel badly for hurting you. No good can come of you telling him how you feel, truly.

Cherish your feelings, but keep them secret. They are real feelings, and you can feel real love at any age, but as long as you're underage, you truly can't get involved with an adult guy, for more reasons than I can list here.

If you still feel the same way once you're over the age of consent, tell him then.

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A female reader, Teenage-Rebel United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2008):

Teenage-Rebel agony auntDon't tell your teacher as things won't be so good.

It is probaly just a crush. Don't worry 'cause its natrul to fall for older guys.

Don't tell him how you feel. It may hurt you but hopefully soon you will get over him and fall for someone your own age

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008):

Err...your 12?!

Say it out loud...t.w.e.l.v.e.

You still probably won't see the difference, but you are 12. It's not the age difference that's the factor. I personally couldn't give a crap about age difference. But you are 12?! People your age don't even take relationships that seriously, or maturely.

If he's 27, then he'll want someone his age.

If something did happen, then he'll report you. Besides it'll destroy his reputation. He's young he'll want a career ahead of him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

Trust me, he won't be interested. flattered maybe but you are 12 he is 27 he wants a grown woman with a grown woman's mind (and body we love boobs!)

Your just going to cause trouble for yourself and him. Its a crush you may not want to hear it but it is.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

Your in love, good, it means your growing up and your old enough to have special feelings for the opposite sex. You get funny feelings, your head is full of him all the time. Welcome to the adult world honeypie. You love him, it's real, he makes you feel good. You want to follow your heart, you want to tell him how you feel, you want him to love you the same way that you love him.

But there things standing between you. A 12year difference, his girlfriend, the job he has (your teacher) and the need he has to keep this job to pay his bills. You love him, but he has shown no sign that he loves you. He dosen't spend time with you, he dosen't tell you that he cares, he dosn't buy you presents. If he did the police would lock him up in prision, your parents would cry and people would look at you funny and say that "she done things with her teacher."

You love him, that's good that's very good. You know you can fall in love. You know what you like in a man and you know the kind of man that you want to be with. This man is not right. You love him, and you'll try to deal with this by going out with friends, studying hard, enjoying life as best as you can until the right man comes along.

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A female reader, all i need United States +, writes (17 May 2008):

hunny not trying to upset you, but your only 12. i promse its not love. it may feel that way but its not. my advise is stop trying to grow up so fast(thats all this is about) truat me, your gunna wish you hadnt.... these feeling will go away. i can oromise that to

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A female reader, BlondeBabe x United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2008):

BlondeBabe x agony auntIm around the sme age as you as i am 13, however you may be sick of hearing that its not love. But listen its not when you turn twelve i believe its the age were you start to grow up puberty starts and things like that.

But these feeling may feel stranger than a crush but they arnt its just you starting to grow up.

Well i dont think you should follow your heart as sonn you will grow out of it, you are only 12 you are not ready for love in anyway.

So i think you should forget about him its nearly the end of the school year and you will get a new teacher, so move on with youe life and enjoy being young cause its not going to be the same when you grow as everyone tell me!

Good Luck Babe x

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A female reader, WiccanWonder United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2008):

WiccanWonder agony auntum, somehow i doubt you are in love with him, at our age, our hormones are like Rawwwr let me out! kinnda thing (sorry about the way i put that, bit hyper =] )

Um so, just ignore it, it will go away!

Hope this helps

tasha x

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A male reader, Bladerade Canada +, writes (17 May 2008):

Phew. . .I don't know what to say. 15 year age gaps are really big especially if you're underaged. This is going to be hard to hear but you have to hear it: Although you may be in love with him, he CANT be in love with you ESPECIALLY since he is a teacher. If he ever showed any affection towards you he would be fired and tossed in prison or sued(SP?) right away. Now maybe. . .just maybe, when you become of age (18-19) and you still feel that feeling that you feel now, then you could try. But if you go trying to get him to like you then you're putting his career and natural life at stake. Your life would stay the same but his would be broken forever. He would never teach again etcetera etcetera. So my advice, don't follow your heart on this one, follow your head. And in 6 years maybe you can follow your heart.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

hey, i think if you talk to any girl they will say they've had a teacher crush and sometimes it's love, sometimes it's lust, sometimes it's infactuation but even if it is coming from the heart, there is no excuse for you to do anything now. i dont mean to hold your age against you but if he decided to follow your advances, what does that say about him-you're not even a teenager yet and he would also be cheating on his girlfriend and his career could be trashed, nothing good can come at making a move now. i have feelings for a teacher now but he lives with his girlfriend and his step-kids and ive had moments of madness where i really feel im gonna go for it-split seconds but then i realise it would be wrong in so many ways, what's he supposed to do just disregard his gf what if she caught him? where would he live? would we even have a future? what if we broke up after a month? you just REALLY have to know what you're getting yourself into and im advising you to not do anything now, wait till youre older maybe then if things have changed i dont think 12 is enough to be taking on this responsibility and if he makes any advances on you REMEMBER it's wrong because of your age, not because you're a student it's paedofillic-lol bad spelling. just hang in there hun, ive has teacher crushes before that have lasted 3 years and still lasting. persevere and be patient and remember morals xxxxxxx

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A female reader, Love_is_all_youu_need United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2008):

Love_is_all_youu_need agony auntHiya hun, I followed my heart! I hoped I had a chance with him, I wrote a letter explaining my feelings and in advance I expected him to start liking me too! However, things didn't turn out as I'd hoped. I got in a bit of trouble with the school and alot of grief from my parents! My actions caused me more pain, I always get mixed feelings from this teacher now; sometimes he'll avoid me completely and other times he'll quite happily sit/stand near me! The bottom line is that i'm not allowed to have any contact with him... unless supervised! He doesn't trust me anymore and thinks i'm likely to make accusations against him for what he put me through by reporting me. But he doesn't know that i love and care for him too much to do this! My advice to you, is to leave it! I know it's hard but try and get over him... if you still have these feelings by the time you leave the school then you could tell him (on the last day) That way you won't have to experience the consequences which would follow! :)

Best of luck with whatever you decide xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

You're right when you say if you pursue it you'll get hurt. In the most ideal for you I guess - he'd like you back. But if he did like you he wouldn't be able to do anything and would lose his job and have that against his name forever.

People could be right and it could be a crush, however I believe that you can be in love at a young age - though I thought I was in love with someone when I was 12/13 and I realise now that I was just crushing on them majorly and it's all forgotten now.

The best thing that you can do is to try and forget about him, and concentrate on other things, like work or your friends or even other guys. Nothing could happen between you - 1. While he's your teacher and 2. whilst he has a girlfriend.

Please keep us updated =) and good luck !

xx Hope xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

If you try to follow your heart you will get yourself hurt, a teacher is a trained professional who has learnt how to deal with pupils who say they have a crush on them and that's all he would see it as, he will knock any advances back and you will feel bad and worried that he might not really like you ! he is trained to teach and even if he comes across as really cool, at the end of the day he will be looking forward to going home and spending time with his girlfriend.

I'm not saying you don't have feelings for him, everyone at some times in there lives really fancies someone they now they can't be with, so they just keep there thoughts to themselves, if you write your thoughts in a Diary and never loose it, when your older you will look back and think....god !!! did I really fancy him !!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

It's common for pupils to be in love with their teacher, so i don't think it's a good idea telling him to be quite honest because nothing will come of it. But on the other hand if you think it will make you feel better then go for it but just don't expect him to turn around and say that he loves you too because i seriously doubt that will happen.

take care xxx

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A female reader, c0nfus3d United States +, writes (17 May 2008):

hun i know that you said you're sick of people telling you that you're too young but compared to him you really are. there is such a large growing period in between 12 and 27 and getting into a relationship such as that would take way too much out of you. plus it's not all that legal. you may say that you love him but i suggest that you try to find someone that is closer to your age and may have more in common with you

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