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I'm in love with my science teacher... and he's engaged.

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2005) 121 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2010)
A , anonymous writes:

I'm confused on how to act next with this problem. I'm 14 and have recently fallen in love with my science teacher who is roughly ten years older than me, also he has a fiance. This is honestly the first guy I have ever felt totally in love with and he is just perfect. I kno you may think I am too young for all this, but I am immensely mature for my age and have been told so by a lot of people.

Should I forget about him or try and be with him maybe after I leave that school, or should I try to get to know him better now?! I don't know what to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010):

i know what its like.being so close to him yet no being able to say what you feel.

I wud make any excuse just to talk to him.He was my history teacher last year but this year i dont have him.

I swore it was just a crush but i dont think it is.

He's getting maried this month and might move next year

=,(

as long as we're friends,not just student-teacher relationship i will be fine.noeing im more than a student to him in anyway is ok for me.

I day dream about him all the time.

You could be on that friendship level.Dont 4get him completely that sometimes hurts worse.but if u can do then go ahead.i sincerly hope it works out 4u =)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010):

I know exactly how you feel - and I assure you, I'm not going to be one of those people who scolds you and says, "That's so inappropriate! You're not in love!" I'd be a hypocrite if I did, because I recently went through something very similar.

When I was a freshman in college (18 years old), I had a TA who was about 9 years older than me. He was amazing in every single way - immensely attractive, witty, intelligent, and most of all, quite endearing. I found myself attracted to him in a friendly way at first, but as the semester went on, I realized that I was becoming quite a bit infatuated. Thus, I was crushed when I finally noticed the wedding band on his hand - and when I discovered that he was married and lived with his wife on the other side of the country.

At first I was devastated, but I had to realize - nothing was ever going to happen. It was very hard to keep myself from thinking about him (and even harder to face him in class each week), but I told myself that there was someone else out there for me - someone just as endearing, witty, and intelligent, but someone that actually loved me as much as I loved them. Try thinking about that, or finding someone else special in your life to think about. There are other people out there, even if it doesn't feel like it. I know it hurts, but sometimes you just have to move on.

Then again, things change...and for all you know, something could happen in the future! You never know. But for now, try to let go. And of course, there's nothing wrong with dreaming about him :) Just try not to let it consume you, that's all.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010):

hi :)x

i know exactly how you feel you are not alone i am 14 and in love with my science teacher however he's engaged to my music teacher ! i have never felt like this about anyone an i dont know what to do , i cant stop thinking about him and he even flirts with me abit x dont worry your not alone i am sure (even though it may not feel like it ) it

will work out

good luck xxx

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A female reader, ScienceGirl123 United States +, writes (26 December 2009):

Hey there girl! You're not alone :) I just can't stand teen boys, they're so stupid and immature.

I am a 16 year old girl and I have developed a major crush on my biology teacher who is perhaps 30 years my senior. I know it's not love and I'm waiting for it to go away.

But the feeling just gets stronger, and it hurts.

I can't get him out of my head for a minute. Everyday I see him I want him to notice me. I'm his favorite student and I'm doing great in his class, but I want him to reciprocate my feelings and to like me back.

However, I am very conscious of the fact that he is married with children. I must not ruin his family and his job. I will just silently like him until this crush fades away. I will NEVER cross the line of a student.

This is to all the girls: You think you are in love but it's really a temporary infatuation. It will go away. It's painful and trust me I know. But you can't do anything about it. I'm sure all of you you can find a man just like your teacher in the future, except not taken, and probably your age!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009):

Heyy there:),my best advice for you is to stay away from him stop right now I use to be like you in my 8th grade year and let me tell you tables were turned on me his wife hated me nd she gossiped about me to other teachers.he hit on me alot but I never Told anyone nd his wife knew because she oddly saw me as competition I was 15!they were in their mid 30's..... Basically I was looked at As the obsessed girl nd I wasn't rlly I was a good kid.he lied to the heads about me cuz he knew he was endangered of loosing his job he even told my best friend at the time that "if I sign ur highschool paper u cnt tell Tiffany I like her nd think she's cute".I warn you!your life will be ruined my school year was he'll nd I dnt want any young girl to experience what I have that yr.his friend a teacher harrassed me about the teacher I liked his wife constantly imbarrassed me.things went from fun nd games to deadly real quick.he was even found on my street one day driving slow near my house....my friend asked y he was there cuz He lives a long ways from us he replied "looking for my friend".she was creeped out,ok I get it u like him there's nothing wrong with u no matter what ppl say bt I'm telling u....what u do now affects u later sweetie....normal men are not intrested in children.there's something wrong with him.my teacher starred at me too nd always gave me perfect scores on my papers .I was removed from his class.he betrayed me he lied to save his own ass nd ruin my rep.don't give him any letters,cards,don't flirt nothing!I'm telling u I was you at one time identical to you.he will take advantage of you.end it now don't pursue it.he's sick

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A female reader, MissDay United States +, writes (15 November 2009):

Again, another situation explaining how I "totally relate"...

I'm 16 years old, going to be 17 in a few months, and I've become completely infatuated with my Physics teacher who's 58! He's in the process of a divorce and I think he actually has a grandkid, but I'm not just the only one who has a crush on this man, he's just gorgeous. It may have something to do with being in an all girls school that everyone is so easily attracted to him, but I've become so in love with him, other girls don't understand. We all used to say how hot he was, but my feelings for him are way more heavy than theirs. I can't imagine a possible situation where anything could develop out of this, but I swear sometimes I can tell he's interested too.

We'll banter in class a lot, and when he has lunch duty (where a teacher just like...chaperones, for lack of a better word, the high school lunch periods), we both end up catching each other's eye several times. My friends in my physics class tease me sometimes about how he stares at me while he's teaching the class sometimes too. Yesterday I was thinking about him a lot, even though I didn't have him for class that day (we have 4 classes a day, and they alternate every other day). I had Latin class across the hall and his current class was in the hall doing this crazy physics related game with broomsticks and soccerballs (don't ask), and I decided to go to the bathroom so that I could go outside and see him. That's how bad it gets, I go to my locker to get things I don't need just so I can look into his classroom. But anyways, He looked at me as I was getting out of my classroom and he was explaining something to his class of my fellow juniors lined up and down both sides of the hall and he said "Hey, get out of here Day, you already got to do this yesterday" just jokingly, and I thought I saw him lift the broom in his hand up to whack me. I just retorted innocently "hey! I did not! you didn't let me use the broom :(" and giggled and continued on to the bathroom. Next period, I had a free period where I could go anywhere in the school, as did a friend who was in that previous physics class. She came up to me laughing saying "OMG! he totally tried to spank you with the broom and he almost did, you just moved too fast! haha" This obviously made my day and still makes me happy. I know it's lame, but even just the tiniest bit of extra attention from him makes me so excited. I daydream about him all the time, and I have a hard time thinking of anything else but him in his class. I relish the days where I have to make up quizzes or labs or just have his class.

I know that everyone says you always have at least one crush on your teacher or an older man, but I'm actually mostly attracted to men who are at least 15 years older than me! I totally inherit this from my mother, but the thing is, I'm not looking for my soul mate in anyone, especially not someone so much older. I don't even enjoy the thought of dating really, and I, also because of the nearly exact genetic copy from my mother, am mostly interested in a physical relationship with emotions of just good friends, not a boyfriend or even a best friend.

I'm going absolutely crazy dreaming day in and day out about my physics teacher, and so I totally get what you're going through and I also dearly wish things could go further than just hopes. Good luck girl! You can't help who you're in love with, so just live with it and fantasize and hope for more ;)

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A female reader, musiclove22 United States +, writes (21 September 2009):

I am 18 and all throughout high school I was irrevocably in love with my band director. He isn't particularly attractive, but he's so kind and understanding. i love him still. i'm in college for music now and i know its partially because he inspired me. my senior year i finally told him, and it was really weird. He could get into a lot of trouble for being with me, so i think he was just afraid of what i said in general. he told me it wasnt practical, but that he kind of knew anyway and it was okay to say it if it made me feel better. i always hung around his room at school, and i told him everything. i felt amazing when i was near him. i became a better person and musician because of how i felt about him. Now i'm in college and i'm away from him, its better. I can stop being hung up on him and i can move on. we're still buddies, and we talk all the time. I him i have found a lifelong friend. teling him was weird, buti t got me over it partially. wait until you are older though, more around senior year, then you will feel less childish and more able to talk to him like an adlut. my band director wasnt engaged or married, but he wasnt interested in me that way. he was the first person i have ever really loved. it was good for me to get it out though. and he understood.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2009):

I'm 17 and there is a teacher at my school who is 6 years older than me. He also happens to be my coach. I don't have him as a teacher and I never will. I visit him on his prep hour and after school. I'm definitely closer to him than any other student. We have the same taste in music. He shares things with me that a teacher wouldn't normally share with a student, like his love life and he asks me for my advice. We pretty much ignore that fact that he's a teacher and I'm a student. I can tell by the way he looks at me and acts around me that something is there. Of course, it's illegal for a minor to date an adult that much older then them, and it's illegal for teachers to date students, but he isn't even my teacher. I don't know what to do. He doesn't have a girlfriend either. My adive to the girl who is in love with her science teacher, let it go. You are too young. He is engaged. Sorry to break the bad news to you, but he's not going to wait 4 more years for you either way.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009):

I completely, and when I say completely I mean COMPLETELY, know what you're going through. I'm in love with my science teacher from freshman year. I'm a junior now and I haven't been in his class for about two years. But I still feel just as strongly for him now as I did two years ago. I know this isn't some crush, it's definitely different.

And my teacher also has a fiancee. It stinks. =[ I also wanted to say that what juleskee said really made me smile. When she said the teacher's girlfriend is his student from his first year, it made me happy. Cause I was my teacher's first year. :D Ha ha. 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009):

I cannot believe how many people have answered this. Its nice to know that other people feel the same. I'm 16 and am properly in love with my ex-science teacher. He must be 40 or so but i adore him. I think its mainly personality that attratcted me to him as he's such a wonderful caring person. I searched for him on rate my teacher.com at his old school and the comments made me cry. He has been such an inspiration to so many people not just me. Everyday i go a different way to class - just to see him. I think he's married with kids but i can't help it. I'm too shy to talk to him. I just want him to like me, in a friendly way but i can't talk to him because i'm so shy. It's torture!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009):

lol, loads of people have replied to this 'cause they know how you feel, and I completely do as well. I'm completely in love with my english teacher ... he's not engaged, but he lives with his girlfriend, and they're obviously in a really stong stable relationship.

Sometimes I think I'm pathetic because I am always thinking up trivial little excuses to go and find him to "ask" him something at break, lunch, and after school.Like you, this is the first time I've felt this strongly ... I tried to get over it, but I honestly can't, so I gave up.

It isn't fair for me to jusge your situation, but I suspect that, like me, your feelings won't be returned. That's why I'm not going to let him know how I feel, and you shouldn't either. If you did, he'd instantly become awkward around you, and anything (however big or small) that's already between you would be lost.

Telling you to "move on" or "get over it" is pretty much impossible as I know!! Instead, just try and be a good student, be yourself, and enjoy his company and lessons. Doing this will make him like you back (though probably not in the way you want) and he'll probably talk to you more about things aside from the lessons, which is, I imagine, what you want.

Good luck, and so many ppl know how you feel!!

xxx w/b

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A female reader, juleskee Philippines +, writes (3 April 2009):

I'm in love with a science teacher, too. It's kind of annoying that he has a girlfriend that he brings to school whenever there are events held there. And, what's even more annoying is that his girlfriend is his old student. She was in the first batch he taught.

It would be best if you just enjoy your time with him. You can be friends with him even while you're in school! That's what we do at our school. The teachers and the administration don't mind. We even ask them to join parties. But, there are limits of course. Just be friendly friendly and no intimacy. Don't hope for more than friendship because I hoped for that and it just got me crushed. Just dream of him, y'know? You can just pretend he's in love with you. That's what I do, and it satisfies my desire to be loved.

Don't forget about him! It'll just make you feel bad. He should serve as an inspiration to you. He served as an inspiration to me, and now I'm one of the most popular kids in my class because I'm excelling in the subjects where I'm talented, because of that inspiration.

Good luck, hope this helps!

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A female reader, Courtsbabes;x United Kingdom +, writes (22 March 2009):

Omg im in the same thing as you, im in love with my rs techer, but he is married and has 2 kids but i actuly love him w/b x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009):

im in love with my teacher too, at school i go out of my way just to catch a glimpse of him, when i speak to him or see him looking at me it's like everything in my world clicks into place for just a few moments. Sometimes in class we will lock eyes and stare at each other for what seems like a lifetime. I know deep down that i make every flirtatious comment, every look, every smile, out to be more than it really is. Deep down i know nothing can ever happen, but the day he told me i was his favourite student, and the day he told me i was amazing and brilliant. Well it was fantastic. I always get people coming to me and saying he talks about me alot. I don't know what to do. I just wish he would tell me how he felt. I'm hurting over this inside. Its not a crush. I've had loads of those. This is the real thing.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009):

I know exactly how you feel. Im breaking my heart over a similar situation. Only mines weirder.

Im inlove with my science teacher. Biggest problem is, there female. DOnt judge me on this, and im not gay. Problem is i've fallen inlove with her soul, not her gender or her age.

Shes 38. And she is the most perfect and beautiful thing i have ever seen, both inside and out.

SHes like an angel, and i just cant help loving her. shes married with kids. and has fantastic morals, and i know nothing could ever happen between us. But i cant help despiratly wanting it to. ANd when we look into each others eyes, i know she feels the same way.

She only teaches me once a week. yet the pair of us find some reason for having to see the other at least once everyday. And when we talk we just stare into each others eyes, i feel like ive known her my whole life and would trust her with anything, she calls me over and tells me things that she tells no-one else. we have a really special relationship. and shes already said we have to meet up when i leave, which is in 4 months btw. She's told me she'll pick me up and the two of us can go out for the day. I know she feels it too. And i know i could never/will never love anyone or anything as much as i love her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008):

I totally can realte to your situation. When I was 14, I fell in love with my science teacher. At first i swore it was a crush but I began to think otherwise when I constantly thought about him. He always complimented me and stared me down for the longest time. Every time he saw me, he just stared. I want to believe he was attracted to me too. Ibelieve its fate that brought us together again 2 yrs ago but now I see him and he barely says a word to me. I wonder if hes angry at me because I get extremely shy around him and dont provide much conversation. But I just get so nervous you know? I want him? I'm in love and miss him? how do I get him back? I guess let fate bring you guys together. If its meant to be , it'll happen on its own. You don't need to force anything!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008):

I totally can realte to your situation. When I was 14, I fell in love with my science teacher. At first i swore it was a crush but I began to think otherwise when I constantly thought about him. He always complimented me and stared me down for the longest time. Every time he saw me, he just stared. I want to believe he was attracted to me too. Ibelieve its fate that brought us together again 2 yrs ago but now I see him and he barely says a word to me. I wonder if hes angry at me because I get extremely shy around him and dont provide much conversation. But I just get so nervous you know? I want him? I'm in love and miss him? how do I get him back? I guess let fate bring you guys together. If its meant to be , it'll happen on its own. You don't need to force anything!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008):

i though i was alone i feel that way fer my english teacher but hes different i mean idk hs marryed and has kids but i really didnt care cause everytime i see him my mind wanders and i feel serous love twards him i cant help it ive never told anyone cause everyone i know would b like idk but not good i know its love belive me and im 14 he is 33 i talk to him in notes sometimes and in fact i sometimes even skip my study halls to stay with him and i stay with him js hehe once he said that hed rather b a collage teacher and he said hed tell me which collage hed work at if it ever happens so i could go aww i cant help myself im head over heels so what should i do i try and keep my distance but i really cant

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008):

It's illegal for anything to become of you two for another four years so get over it. There can be nothing of it. There are plenty of guys you can be with and fall in love with legally and they are not engaged. Obviously he already has a love in his life so if you respected him you would just accept the fact all he is, is a teacher and your only a student. He is a man you are a mere child. You can not fall in love without really knowing who some one is and sharing an emotional bond with each other. Save love for later and for someone you can express it to and they express it back and I am not talking about sex. You can fall just as easily out of love as you fell in love with him. Also understand there is a difference between infatuation, love, and obsession. Go talk to other dudes and get your mind off this man. So basically I'm saying sucks for you get over it and move on that's just the way life is.

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A female reader, Daraia United States +, writes (30 October 2008):

Lol.

I was surprised to see how many people replied to this. My situation is a bit the same but there is a little twist on it.

I am 15 (soon to be 16) and am a junior in highschool. (I skipped 8th grade) My old math teacher left and so we got a new one this year. Ever since the first day I had class with him....I knew I was in love with him. He's much older than me and is married with kids...and I know that nothing could ever come out of it. Keeping this in mind I sorta did with jazmineflowers did. But then my feelings for him grew...I couldn't (why am I doing this in past tense, this is happening now)/can't help staring at him. Now here's the twist on the story...

He stares back. One time in class, he was explaining how to do an assignment, and I was staring at him, but not really paying attention. When finished talking he walked away from the front of the room and caught my eye. Our eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity. I felt a huge flutter in my heart...

Then another time, I was walking down the school hall. It was beyond crowded, but I could barely see him on the other side. We stared at each other for my whole walk down the hall...

Over time things have become less tense between us but we do have a lot of staring moments and it's like...he's becoming more open about it. For example, like the thing with the hall, he did it again. But instead of the normal crowded setting he usually chose it was a dead empty hall. I was the only one walking. He does this alot now...

I was/am so confused about this whole thing...does he have feelings for me? If so...I mean...that's...wrong..but....

I needed to find out for sure.

I read about how when a guys/girls pupils dilate, that means they "like" you. I also took into consideration other reasons as to why pupils dilate. I found the perfect setting, in the woodshop. The light is normal, not really bright or dark. We were doing a project and he was explaining to me and one of my friends how to do something. He kept stuttering and pausing as if he were nervous while I "overly paid attention" to him. I suddenly remembered what I read about, the pupil dialation thing, and looked to see if they were bigger than normal...

They were. I was not mistaken, they were definetely larger than usual. Just to make sure, about 5 minutes later he was talking to one of my friends explaining how to put together some parts or something. I caught a glance at his pupils, and they were back to normal size. (Which was pretty tiny; there was an extreme difference between the 2 times)

If anything i'm more confused and even a bit scared than before. I have very strong feelings for this man and the way he stares at me and the tension between us..I don't know what to believe. I wonder all the time what would happen if we were ever alone together which is something that will 100% sure happen next year when I am a senior. (He is also the vice principle...)

Any comments or ideas or suggestions or...anything about this is greatly appreciated. I even have a blog/diary online...if you'd like to check it out and read it just email me

[email address blocked]

I update it daily (except on weekends most of the time) and there's alot about this man in there...so if you'd like to continue on with my story with me...email me...I need someone to talk to about this...really.

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A female reader, jazmineflowers United States +, writes (26 October 2008):

Having a crush or being in love with one of your teachers in completley normal and honsetly it's fun! I find it makes things more interesting and in most cases it causes you to work harder in a class to impress the teacher. BUT please don't try to put any moves on the guys maybe the friendly " Gosh you're the best teacher ever" hug or pat on the back. If you really care about this guy enough you're not going to want to possible ruin his career by trying to mess around him. You see, like in most of these post it turns out people in you school already know you have a crush on the guy and the worst thing to come out of that is some mean nasty girl trying to acuse your teacher and you of being sexually involved. I myself am 17 and totally in love with my 12th grade english teacher but the thing is i embrace it as a big joke and he finds it hilarious because I always pick out the sappiest piece of literature to do a report on and I memorize corny shakespeare lines to comment on things he does. So don't try to take our little girl feeling seriously ladies. Lets just embrace them in a PG playful way!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008):

I really do understand what your feeling. I'm in love with my ex-English teacher and he's engaged too T.T He's 25 and I'm 12 in seventh grade. Everyday I try to convince my friends to go to his room after school. Every chance I get I try to see him. I know nothing is EVER going to happen, but I always have a tiny hope that he'll change his mind. Then, another part of me wants him to be happy and let him get married. He already knows that I like him and nothing has changed. He just said,"I'm flattered." My friends tease me about it every day. My old best friend had told the whole school in sixth grade, but now it's old news. I can't get over this guy he's just SOOOOO awesome! His eyes are so deep and his smile brightens up my day. I LOVE him and personally I don't even know what to do. For the first time, I cried over him. Now I really know it's true. He's also the assistant coach for basketball and I'm joining. Just keep your dreams up but lay it low for now I guess.

[IMG]http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x46/kittens1722/anime%20cat%20girls/heart.jpg[/IMG]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008):

Hey, I just wanted to say that you're not the only one, as you can see from many of these posts! I was searching the net because I too feel the same way as you about a teacher. It's comforting to know i'm not the only one!

I really like my ICT teacher, I know i'm not supposed to and I know nothing will never happen but I keep letting my head rule my heart, and I end up getting hurt. I'm only 15 but have never felt so strongly about someone. He must be about 10 years older than me, and I thnk he has a girlfriend. I know what this means but I can't stop thinking about him. He's good looking and we are both into the same kind of things. When I see him it's as if life is burst through me as an energy surges through my body like i've never felt before. I like to see him around and I watch out for him around school. Several times now we have proper conversations where I feel we have connected on a different level and there's so many qualities I like about him. In the summer holidays I let my feelings go about him, but coming back to school again, I've seen him and everything has reverted back to how it was. I've tried to stop myself and I keep telling myself that it would never ever happen but I can't help it. When I saw him for the first time when I came back to school, he smiled at me shyly, he's never usually like that to other people! I keep thinking he's treating me differently, but maybe that's my head trying to make situations into what I really want. Yesterday when I spoke to him properly for the first time in a couple months, he joked about me, like people do when they flirt! It's so confusing. In the last couple of days I've just fallen for him ever more, again. He keeps inviting me back at lunch to read his books or use his drawing equipment. I don't know what he feels, but he probaly doesn't feel the way I do about him. I'll have to try and let it go, but it will be hard. I already feel an anxious, excited, worried, love feeling in my stomach, and I don't know what I can do. It's hard not to see him, and if I completley ignore him, i'll feel guilty because he's done nothing wrong to me, and it's just my head playing games with me. I'm sure you'll get through this, and some day you'll be embarrased that you've felt this way =) Good luck =)

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A female reader, Dyrdek25 Canada +, writes (16 August 2008):

Oh my gosh, everyone is saying this but I totally relate. I'm only 14 and my ex science teacher is 35. Crazy, I know. The first day I walked into his class I liked him, like I'm not even joking. I'm really shy so once a conversation comes up, I kinda end it unpurposely cause I'm weird, I know. But in science, I purposely sat at the front just so I would be by him. We talked a bit, we were good aquiaiaantences (I'm not even gunna try and spell that) Then he told me I get to go to this science thinger because I had the highest mark in the class (What the heck, I usually fail science) This year, I had a reason to study. To impress him.

One time during class, he called me up cause I had failed one of my tests. He of course was stunned and gave me two extra random marks so I could pass it. Then he was asking me if I understood how to do it, I of course said no. (It had math in it, that's why I failed :P) he went over like half the questions with me. (i still didnt get it but oh well) then randomly hes like "do you like my beard?" and he doesnt even have a beard. so i was pretty confused. then hes like "youre making fun of me cause my grandma died arent you?" I was so lost. I kinda went and sat down and hes like "merry christmas" and he started smiling. He's so weird.

Anyways, I was taking my dog for a walk in an alley... And I totally heard his laugh. So I looked over the fence and there he was. Me, being shy, barely said a sentence before I left. Then at school I ran into him, and he asked me if I was going into the track team... He's never even seen me run so why would he ask that? I asked why, and he replied "I'm the coach" and instantly i decided I would join the team. I had lots of priorities, which lead me to quit. I couldnt say it to his face but finally I decided to skip math class and find him. When I told him, he laughed and we changed the subject and talked for a while. Meanwhile, my math teacher comes down the hall and starts yelling at me so I had to go to math, but my science teacher didnt even care. I was surprised he let me off easy, cause he got angry at my other friends that had to quit.

I have so many memories with this teacher but now he does not teach me and I'm starting not to think about him as much. I used to think about him all day everyday, and now its every couple of days. It's progress, but I'm not sure I like it. Now I wish I wouldn't of been so shy with him, and had more memories to remember. He's also the only guy I am completely myself with. And I have a boyfriend.

When you're with someone you like, you might want to remember it, so make it last.

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A female reader, bikerchic21 United States +, writes (12 June 2008):

Oh hun... Ok I'm not much older then you; I'm only 17, but sweetie as much as I know you don't want to hear this come from anyone, you need to try and let this go. Nothing will come out of liking him. Student/Teacher relationships are taken VERY sierously in the United States and have Serious penelatys for both the student and the teacher. What you have is a crush; and now before you judge what I say, I may be wrong, maybe you do love him in a innocent caring way. But nothing will come of it. Teacher's can get sent to jail, lose their teaching crediential, and lose a reputation. Take it from me, I have very strong feelings for a teacher of mine and they have had the same feelings back; now me one, being in high school and two knowing the teacher well enough have told them (which I do not suggest you do) but this kind of mutal feeling is normal. But you need to learn to not take any action of it in anyway. Its hard, yes and it will take time and even it will sometimes hurt but if you really love him as much as you say you do; you will let this all go for the sake of his future and your own.

best of luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008):

What a relief to know that I'm not the only one in a situation like this. I'am head over heels IN LOVE with my teacher. He is 37 and I'm 15 but I don't care, he drives me wild. Everytime I see him my heart starts pounding really fast and my tummy starts burning. I love being in his class, he flirts with me alot which I'm not complaining about. I think what really told him I like him was when I gave him a gift for Valentines day. I always check him out, he has such a nice ass lol. I hate the fact that he's married with kids, but I can't change my feelings for him.

I would say give it time and if you truly feel that you love him, then start to flirt a bit but don't make it to obvious. Just follow your heart. Best of luck!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008):

Hey girls,

ive just read your posts and i hope my answer gets to you in time.

you probably mistake admiring for loving, which, at your age is utterly normal.

just please, please, forget him and dont get involved with him

ive got 2 friends, who were in the same situation, but unluckily, the teachers found them appealing, too.

one of them leaded the romance for more than 10 years, while he was living with his wife and 2 kids.

the other was dumped after 2 years.

i personally hate both males cause they partialy ruined the lives of 2 innocent girls. i also dont think they should be counted as teachers if they look at their students as females.

might right now you feel its the only true feeling in ur life, u got problems with ur family, but DO NOT. rush into something like this.

dont trust your teachers, most male teachers are pervs.

live the life of a 14 year old, normal and happy girl.

just think about it with clear head and youll realize its not good for you.

im not much older than you (im 19), so i know how girls our age feel (i guess). i highly doubt it would be love. you may daydream about him and such, but its not right (and not because its immoral, which, from your part isnt so), but because youll only hurt yourself if you go on this way.

i advise you to hang around with your friends, have fun, do some sports and STAY AWAY FROM HIM (he wouldnt ever leave his fiance, so youd be just a quick f. sry, but i guess, thats reality)

all the best!! take good care!

b

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

I am so glad that I found this thread. I am 15 years old and I have fallen completely in love with my english teacher, he is 32 years old and single. I am smart enough to know that there is almost no chance of anything happening ever, all I am to him is a young, naive, kid, and I'm guessing that's all I'll ever be to him. =[ I want to cry thinking about it, I love him and I want him. I do everything to "accidentally" run into him. I have convinced my friends to hangout near the outside of his classroom and I look for him in the halls just to say hi. I will also find every possible excuse to walk into his classroom for a talk. My parents are going through a divorce and I really can talk to him, it is comforting to know that he is there for me. Also, I will have dreams about him, and I am completely obsessed, it's terrible, but it's life I guess.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

ok...first off...you cannot confront him with this problem because he is a teacher and you are a student. there are laws against student teacher relationships and also you are only 14 years old. im not saying its impossible to fall in love with somebody who is 10 years older than you. im just saying that the odds are against you. i mean... how do you know that what he is...your love...is going to be the same when you are his age. wait until high school to even mention the words i love you to somebody when your in a relationship. trust me. being 14 and "in love with your science teacher...and he's engaged" does this sound like love? you cant love somebody who has already found love with somebody who is out of college and engaged with most likely the love of HIS life...who my guess he didnt find and age 14

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

can i just say, if u r still reading help advice and what not if you are seriously in love with this guy u need 2 get it sortd out now. i went through dis wen i waz 14 jst lyk u n it went on 4eva, n now ive attemptd suicide n social servicz r involvd coz itz drivin me crazy. obviously dis is worst case scenario n dere r otha fngz such az da fact i am failin my gcse's because of dis which r drivin me down but u seriously need 2 sort it out now, if u reli do love him.

if he's engaged, surley he wnt mean dat much 2 u? i kno dis is da harsh truth but u seemd 2 hav workd it out alredi. if all else fails, n dis is reli hard, tell him. dnt expect him 2 do anythin, but expect him 2 hav a solution.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

hey , im in love with my teacher as well so im in the same boat as you, and hes leaving me school soon!!

I feel so sad. But im sure we will get over our loves xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008):

i'm just like all of you guys - i love my teacher too, and my life really sucks at the moment, so his lessons twice a week are literally the only thing that keeps me going, but i had him today, and as i watched him i realised that he really does see me - and everyone else my age - as a child. i mean, he IS 31, but im 15, and dont feel like a child, but as a teacher, thats what we are to him, to all teachers. it completely sucks, and when i thought of this, i just wanted to cry, right there in front of him and everyone, and i so almost just ran out of the lesson, which is something ive never done or even considered before. And then, he said to me in his gorgous deep masculine voice "have you finished?" and usually i love it when he talks to me but he called me by my sister's name, which to me is like, awful, becuase it means that im not special enough to him, and though he apologised, i just felt like crying even more, and then he came over to my desk, and my throat contracted and my heart lurched, and i just wanted to smile at him, to say something interesting and witty, but i was too shook up and emotionally frozen and numb inside to do anything other than murmur "no," and look back down at the ridiculously easy work we were doing that i just couldn't concentrate on becuase all i could think of was that he'll never see me the way i wish he would, and that we'll never ever ever be together. when the lesson ended, i just wanted to run out of the school and miss last lesson becuase i felt like i had nothing to live for - its going to be 4 days till i see him again and i have NOTHING but him. i didn't run away, i found the quietest spot i could find outside, lent against a wall, and in the softly falling rain, cried. he is so perfect to me, in every way, and i think we all have different opinions of what "love" is, but my biology teacher said that love is wanting to do anything for someone, and i would do anything and everything for this man. in lessons, i used to doodle audacious stick man adventures, but all the enthusiasm for even the most trivial things ilke that has been sucked out of me - now i just draw hearts everywhere, its like an addiction, and i have lost all interest in things i used to enjoy. i'm so unhappy, i don't know how i'll ever pass my GCSEs, becuase i have no motivation.

i don't know if other people feel like me - there seem to be so many other people who say that they're in love with their teachers - but it is making me so unhappy, and i don't have anyone ot talk about it to, which is why this is so long, sorry, but i don't know... i hope that if anyone is reading this, then its kind of helped you, if you feel the same way i do, i mean. my teacher isn't married or anything, so im lucky in that sense, but you other guys at least seem to have someone to talk to about all this stuff. i swear to god, love is the most painful emotion. well, unreqited love anyway.

so you're not alone, if you feel the same way. i still feel alone though, every second of every day. it's slowly killing me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

wow so im not the only one who's in love with my teacher!

he's my chemistry teacher in my junior year, they say he is the most hansome teacher in the campusbut i think hes too strictand doesnt respond when you greet him. i really hated him then and i feel sick during his class. i literally celebrated when vacation started. but i feel lonely and i started to look forward his reproaches even his comments to my works, i just have to hear his voice again. i've realized im in love with him all along but his negative side just got me. well maybe its shameful but theres no law that prohibits us from loving our teachers. i even fantasized that hes got a crushon me i just don tstop loving him now, by the way im a senior now and he no longer my teacher though my feelings never wavered

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

I'm in love with my 23year old student- teacher. She is not a real teacher yet still a uni student

Just getting some experience in a classroom before completing her degree before being able to teach.

She is teaching my class to complete her unsupervised teaching,

She is so damn HOT!

I kind of feel sorry for her too.

No one listens to her, only my frinds and i listen and do our work. She acknowledges this as well

We are 7 years apart, not bad actually. i'm 16 she's 23.

I think she has an idea that i like her :]

Well i guess i have to wait 1 more week. thats when she finishes her student-teacher teaching thing and goes back to uni. Thats the day where she won't be my teacher anymore.

I really really like her a lot!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008):

I think you should try to get to know him better before you try to do anything else.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

I know exactly what you're going through. You'll never be alone with this kind of problem. Many, many people have gone through it. I assume you've heard stories of teachers and students getting together, and they turned out for the best. Well, most of them will not turn out like that, believe me. I'm 16 and my teacher is 44. He was my history teacher for freshman year, and I've been in love with him ever since. He married a woman from England in December '05, and she's coming here to America.

There's nothing I can do about it now. I couldn't break them apart even if I tried to. I'm not that kind of girl.

I'm quite shy, so I never show my feelings toward him. Him, I'm not so sure about. I feel he treats me differently than the other students. I think he has amazing eyes and the times he holds his gaze at me, I can do nothing but smile and turn away. The worst thing is, the more I pull away, the more I still want him. I like that he listens to me, and I do the same to him. As he said once, "you have a sympathetic ear."

Well, I think the best solution is to just..admire him from afar. That's what I'm trying to do. Sometimes I have to tell myself, "He's not anything you need." or "You'll find the right guy someday." Maybe I'll find someone with the same qualities as him, and hopefully..he'll be closer to my age! =]

I wish you the best of luck, and don't worry, I'm sure you'll find the right person!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

Hey there!

Ok I can speak from experience here. In first year we had an absolutely gorgeous form teacher called Miss McCarthy. She was about 26, funny and really nice to me. Needless to say, I fell totally and utterly in love. I'd spend nights fantasising about running away with her and kissing her. So I can realate to you totally here.

What I can tell you is stuff that I've learned since then. There's a difference between love and infatuation, and it's one I had to learn on numerous times. You know that phrase 'love at first sight'? There's no such thing.

Think about it, you can meet someone who is utterly gorgeous and funny, but can you fall in love with them without knowing them, the person that they really are? I don't think so. If you truely love someone, you should be able to know and accept all their little faults and quirks, you should be able to love their true personality, rather than the masks they wear to hide themselves from daily scrutiny(prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet). Yeah, I like T.S. Eliot...ahem.

What I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that you need to understand that you're not actually in love with him! Yes, I know that you can't stop thinking about him and you fantasise about a life together, but until you actually know the true man, there's not really any way you could be in love.It's infatuation, or possibly even lust. I mean, do you actually know him personally? Have you talked to him about politics, religion, his views on the war in Iraq? Do you know whether he prefers dogs or cats, his favourite food or band? What I want you to see is that you actually don't know much about him, and you're infatuated with the idea of what he could be like. I know. I was exactly the same.

Finally, a harsh truth that I also learned. Most adults will have little to no interest in a 14 year old boy/girl. And if they do...best to steer clear. You say that he is engaged, which should also maybe show you that the actual possibility of a relationship is remote.

I'm sorry that this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. There's nothing wrong with fantasising about someone, I do it all the time with Angelina Jolie (don't tell the gf plz!) But you have to be careful when you seriously consider pursuing a life with someone who's not available. So by all means, have a crush on him, talk to him and enjoy his company. But I wouldn't actually do anything about it, cause in the end you only wind up embarassed. Like I said, I know...

Hope this helps, and I know you'll be disappointed, but don't worry, a girl as intelligent and mature as yourself will find someone to make you very happy. I promise!

Best of luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008):

Yeah. There are a lot of people with the same problem. Just wait it out. You'll grow out of it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008):

I'm in the same situation as most of you. Firstly, I'm a 17 year old junior and I'm CRAZY in love with a biology teacher at my school. He's 28 or 29 and he's got these beautiful green eyes that mesmerize me every time I see him (I have green eyes too). He's pale like me and I want to have kids with him. He's in the classroom next to me and I walk past him all the time. It's like we rendezvous everyday because he always sees me. He comes into my classroom every other day to pretend like he needs something from my biology teacher, but he always stares at me. I smile at him and give him my “look down and then up” eye, and I think he's got it in for me too. One time my teacher sent me to his room to get a microscope and he stared into my eyes and said you "you have very pretty eyes". I know he's not married so I've wanted to date him for a long time. I KNOW HE LIKES ME! He gets very nervous around me and st-st-studders. He also tries to impress me. A lot of guys at my school like me and flirt with me, but I'm attracted to older men, particularly him. I fantasize about having sex with him all the time; I want to lose my virginity to him. I could get any guy I want because I'm a "pretty, skinny and smart blonde" but I want him! I want him SO BAD. I get butterflies when I see him.

Why won't he make a move? How can I start a relationship with him? I want him to pin me up against a wall or throw me on a desk or lock me in a back room and make love to me. I want to bite his lips and touch his skin. I'm going crazy not being with him. I know he would want to do the same to me because I get hit on all the time because I'm innocent (straight A’s) yet very attractive. If he knew how I felt he would be tempted to take me out or to his house, but I'm so scared of the consequences. I'm also inspired by the consequences because it's "naughty" and dangerous. I wouldn't want any of the administration to find out because it would be on the news and he'd loose his teaching license. I want a secretive affair that no one but him and me know about, and then when I graduate we could leave and make it public. What should I do? He’s so close but so far away. I’m pulling my hair out not being with him. It won’t be the same when I’m older. I want to experience a relationship like this while I’m still young.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

that is weird because i'm fifteen and i have a complete and total crush on my science teacher too and i don't know what to do either. the thing is that he is already married but i can't do anything because one it's against the law and two i'm too young for him. but i hate it because i can never stop thinking about him and it gets deeper so i feel really weird when i see him but nobody knows how i feel, but me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008):

hey honey,

I know a lot of people will say that it is a crush. It may be, or it may not be. I can't say that for you. What i can say, is that you can't have anything to do with him.

It has nothing to do with you being a student, and everything to do with him being in a relationship. I know what you're going through, i fell in love with a teacher almost three years ago, and he hasn't taught me for two years, and i still think of him everytime I see a car that looks like his. Honestly it still stings everytime I see my old school, when i go back to pick up my brother, or I go to help kids there academically.

The thing about being mature that sucks is that you have to accept the fact that it hurts, and sacrifice your happiness for his. Even if he did love you more than he loves the other woman, things would get complicated, and she would get hurt, and even worse his son would get hurt. Most people would do anything to protect their children. It would be dilusional to think he values you more than his son.

What would probably happen if you told him is either he won't feel the same and he'll be really akward, or he will and it will hurt him.

If you really love him, for his sake, and the sake of people he loves, and honestly for your own sanity, let him go. if you can't, pretend.

Thats the best advice I have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008):

HEY - I'm in a situation like this only a tad bit different. I do belive 14 is young for you girl, and although i have strong beliefs that you can fall in love at practically any age, 14 is very young and it appears to me that you don't know him personally and thus only infatuate about him that's all.

I'm 16 - and have been told i have the mentally of a 25 year old woman due to my past experiences which only caused me to grow up faster than others my age. I'm in love with my former head of year and have been for the past 3 or so years - and i do in fact know him personally.

Through all of my hard times he was there for me and still is up until now. I won't go into my bad experiences but whilst I taught him alot about my life - he taught me alot about his. I know so much about his past and present and know him alot more than any other student. That's how I know it's real. His personality and personal opinions and such have made me see his inner beauty, and his imperfections i see so perfectly. I'm pretty sure he knows in fact i know he does only i want to tell him. I'm wise enough to know nothing can happen, and of course this kills me. But by telling him ALL I WANT TO GAIN is the ability to move on.

After all i know i won't be able to to move on unless i tell him, i won't ask himfor nothing but to ackowledge my feelings. I don't know what i should do i just know i need to tell him. It makes me physically sick keeping this in.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007):

Hey all, this is a tought situation huh. I am a junior in college and I have been in love with my music composition and theory teacher for 2 years now. He is wonderful, and married. It kills me to know if in some way I would have got there a year earlier I would have stood a chance. I am engaged by the way, to the most amazing guy, but he isnt the same as my teacher.

I finally let him know! After so long, im sure you all know, of letting the tension build up, i couldnt take it any more, i walked into his office one day and said sit down for this. I spilled my heart to him, how i loved him and had been in love with him for 2 years and everything. This man is amazing, because he is true to his wife. All he could say was, "i dont know what to say." It hurts so bad because he flirts with me too, i know he is attracted to me because i catch him starring at me. I love him, and every day i have to see him and it hurts more because i know we wont ever make anything of it. I would give up my fiance in a heart beat to be with this man, you just know in life when you meet your soul mate, who you have that connection with, and i have that connection with my teacher. He is about 31, and so sexy. I hate going to his classes because it hurts so bad, and I love going to his classes because i get to be around someone who truly makes me happy.

My advice to all of you is to just let them know! You will never be happy with yourself if you just keep it bottled up inside, and the chance is if they feel the same they will let you know, and if they dont, they are mature enough to keep a strong student/teacher relationship with you. But one thing i truly believe in...YOU SHOULD NEVER BE EMBARESSED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

I feel everyones pain here. I fell in love with my married drama teacher when I was 16. He was/is also the girls swim coach. He has an amazing body, soulful eyes, soothing deep voice, and an amazing understanding of women. He was also about 38 I think. I know he was attracted to me physicaly and every other way. Sometimes I would look up from my seat to his desk and see him staring at me for long periods of time. I was more alive in those moments than any others before it. It was something between us that was known but not spoken. It was something I know would never turn into anything. It was like courtly love. A love that is real but can never be consumated and I think that is very romantic. I took his class every year and I graduated in 2003. I am now 23 and I am still in love with him and dream of him regularly. I have met the man I am meant to be with and I love him so much. But I will always be in love with this teacher. We still e-mail sometimes and maybe thats why I cant let him go. Yeah, love hurts.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

Hey hun! Sorry you're going through this as well!

I'm 17 years old (grade 11) and in love with my ex-English teacher who taught me in 9th grade. He is 28 years old and just got married this past summer. It's heart-breaking. He found out that I had a huge crush on him at the end of 9th grade. Was obvious anyways because I turn red and shake while talking to him. Also, many girls in my school have a crush on him because he's extremely good-looking. When he found all this out, he got pretty cocky.

Although, for me, it is so much more than a crush now, because I care for him so deeply and just want him to be happy. That's why, even though I get upset when thinking of him and his wife, I know he's happy and that makes me feel better. I talk to him on a daily basis and ask him to help me with stuff for English still. When I talk to him I kind of just get lost in his eyes. He's so smart and mature! I still get so nervous when around him and I know he can feel some 'sexual tension' too. I want to tell him how I feel so bad but I don't want to put him into a crappy situation.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007):

hallo eveybody.To all the girls that got feelings for their teachers,i got somethin to say.I'm almost 17 and i think i 'm in love with my math teacher who is 36 years old and has a fiance.From the begining of the year,i see him staring at me and being very polite and interested in me and my grades.I know that this will sound very odd,but he is a man.I used to see things very romantic but i understood that he just has a small attraction on me and nothin will happen.When we talk i don't look at him in the eyes cuz i feel weird...even though i like it.I think of me and him together but i know that there is no chance...this is the whorst part...i won't quit thinking of him though...i'm extremly attracted on him and i can't help this...take care all you people in love

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007):

I'm reading this and thinking that some of you guys are me. Oh, goodness I've been in love with my teacher for a year and a half now...at first I didn't even pay him any mind but I noticed how he'd check me out and be nice to me. Mind you...I don't think...well I'm not that pretty,lol. He just made me feel so good and now...he's married and has a baby and I love him GOD I love him and now I'm his intern in my last year and I want to tell him but I get so afraid...I can't even look him in the eye at times. He's just so beautiful and smart and I want to be there for him in EVERYTHING. I think about us...together and I hate when people bring up his wife...I just get so depressed thinking about them together. I'm going to tell him our last day together. I can't believe I'm confessing this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007):

I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT ALONE! Oh, I am in the deepest of love with my 24-year old teacher, and I'm 18 and have had enough expierence to understand my feelings, and understand where everyone else is coming from. It seriously brought tears to my eyes seeing that my difficult situation is not unusual. Anyway, you asked the question 2 years ago, so you're probably about 16 now, so you might not even like this guy anymore, but to everyone else with this problem, flirt with him all you like, but just wait until you're 18 and graduated. Give him your number on the last day of school or something. If he's single, I mean. If he's married, it will just be too obvious what your intentions are, and I don't think his wife would appreciate that. Don't listen to everyone that says it won't work, who are they to tell you what will happen? Best of luck, everyone!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007):

Im 14, and it took me 1 week to fall in love with my like univeristy learning teacher, she came to practice teach, and we got real close. she leaves tomorrow, ill never get to see her again. what should i do. shes so beautiful. i really think she likes me too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

of course unfortuantely I have the same problem here. I feel for my teacher, and I cant seem to get him out of my mind. It's crazy...I have been in obsessive mode...with every breathe I take I am thinking about him...and fantasizing a life with him...it's very disturbing. The thing is I try to hide it so that he doesn't know what is going on , but the more I try to hide my thoughts abouth im,

the more obvious it has gotten that I had a huge infatuation WITH him. 8(

He is a conceited guy and likes attention to be directed toawrds him so that he can proclaim to the world how VIP he is, and when he knew my infatuation he actually expressed the fact that he was flattered and actually fed his ego even more. It was truly hell being in class.

The class is about half a year over and I'm STILL thinking about him. It's amazing how many tears I have shed for this guy, irrationally; I am a bit embarrased by my behavior, but from my past love experiences and this experience also I'd say that at least I learned that it takes me about 1-2 years of distance to forget about a person and move on. I wish it was less though 8)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007):

hiya !! i no exactly how you feel and i no that loads of people would say this but i do i cant tell you what to do because im sort of in the same situation. i'm 14 years old nearly 15 and in yr10. i am so madly in love with my geography teacher i mean madly. he taught me in yr9 and i so hoped i wouldnt get him for my GCSE's

For starters i really find it hard to concentrate in his lessons.

my friends dont understand they say its a crush but ive had crushes before on teachers and none have felt so deppressing because i no nothing can happen but i really want something to happen

i feel so sad when hes not at school and when i miss his lessons because im ill but so excited when im around him i can hardly ever write straight because me hands shake and i get so nervous with buttiflies in my stomache and my hands start to sweat and the hair on the back of my neck stamd up!

when he notices me or talks to me or smiles or laughs i feel as though it means something deep down i no it dosen't but i cant help it! i think he nos i like him but i dont confirm it or deni it either.

i mean today i had his lesson and i couldnt take my eyes off him he kept making eye contact with me for ages and always comes to sit next to me when where watching films and i get so nervous

when i got home i burst out crying because i no it could never happen and it hurts so much

he has just had an operation on his leg and hes was back for the first time in a week and he had a limp and needed a bit of surpport up the stairs so i helped him but people were taking the mick out of him and i was straight to his defence but i no this sounds strange but when he seems sad i always feel sad when he feels pain i feel pain in me i no his b-day and his age and loads of stuff about him and i just wanna be there to confort him when he needs comforting and to be there to celebrate with him when hes celebrating

i even dream about i cant get him out of my head hes in there 24-7 please someone reply to me and help !!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

I know where you are coming from. I am a teacher (married, with two children I love very much) but have fallen in love with one of my students. I still love my husband very much, but I am very attracted to this student. It's tough however because she is only 17 and I am in my mid 30s. Also, she is girl,so I am not sure why I think she is so awesome. The love I feel for her doesn't seem sexual however..I think it is more of an "i want to be your mother" love. Try building this relationship with your teacher.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007):

hello,i didn't know so many people are in love with their teachers.Well i'm not actually in love with him but i really like him.He is my economics teacher and he is amazingly good looking and has a great personality.I've always been atracted on older guys but he is 30 and im 16...huge difference.Sometimes he stares at me when he is talking and i turn from the other side cuz im really shy.I hvan't told anyone, not even my friends cuz i feel like is something i want to keep exclusivly for myself.I cant stop thinking of him and i know it sounds a little stupid but i think that he likes me better than the other three girls in my class cuz i'm smarter at his class and a bit more goodlooking to be honest.Well,its just a dream nothing will happen.he is also engaged so...keep dreamin...to all the girls that feel the way i do,be petient we will find a prince in our age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007):

Hi, ive got the same problem but slightly different and dont know how to start up a new thread sorta thing. Im 19 and my maths teacher was 21 and straight out of uni when he started at my college when i was 17. He has taught me for all of my four double math lessons most days for the past two years. He is and was single with no children. Over the past two years we have become really friendly with each other like talking like in between lessons and before and after school but it was during last years christmas balls that things took a turn. After the ball the whole school went to some hotel for an after party and meal but me and my male maths teacher went off and did our own thing and ended up back at my flat coz i have lived on my own for the past year. While drinking a bottle of wine we talked about everything from school stuff to future plans and ambitions etc. We genuinely had a great time together like always since he started at my school. Well , i got up to go stick the used glasses in the sink and as i got up i felt his hand in mine and as i turned around we began kissing and we spent the night together. So for the past nine months we have been dating each other exclusively , just without anyone knowing because of obvious repercussions. It doesnt affect us at school , we just act like regular student - teacher relationship so its not like its having any bad effects on our lives. There is only a four year age gap which isnt much in todays society but i dont know what would happen to him if it got out without us letting everyone know. Im over 18 and its a consensual relationship so nothing bad could happen to him surely? I know i love him and he loves me but im scared incase anything happens to him if people were to accidently find out without us announcing it. Any advice?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

I know how you feel!

Im 14 and I'm madly in love with my ex-ICT teacher. It all started in year 8 When he first taught me! He was everything I wanted in a guy! I went on for ages shaking everytime I saw him and madly Blushing and all the time I denied it. Everytime someone asked me if I fancied him. I knew it couldn't be so I tried to stop these feelings! But they were to strong! The next year I got my timetable and He wasn't teaching me at first I was gutted but then again I knew I had to move on so I spent the majority of a year away from him! But everytime I saw him it all happened again! I tried to get him out my head! I have told someone and he is still there! It is now the next year and I still cant shake the feelings. It is love and I don't know what to do?!?! So all I can say is 'Dont tell him you love him!!' It just gets you into a big hole!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

I'm in love with my 23year old student- teacher. She is not a real teacher yet still a uni student

Just getting some experience in a classroom before completing her degree before being able to teach.

She is teaching my class to complete her unsupervised teaching,

She is so damn HOT!

I kind of feel sorry for her too.

No one listens to her, only my frinds and i listen and do our work. She acknowledges this as well

We are 7 years apart, not bad actually. i'm 16 she's 23.

I think she has an idea that i like her :]

Well i guess i have to wait 1 more week. thats when she finishes her student-teacher teaching thing and goes back to uni. Thats the day where she won't be my teacher anymore.

I really really like her a lot!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

Hey All!

I keep reading the advice from people responding to teacher crushes who say "...of course you realise your teacher won't possibly have the same feelings for you."

I'm a music teacher (not at a school, just privately) and I recently fell in Love with a student of mine. I'm 38, she's 16.

I started teaching her and her brother last year, and helped them put a bit of a band together. They put on a performance at a Christmas party, then afterwards there was a bit of dancing. She and I were dancing to some faster songs, then something slower came on and we danced close. When the next fast song came on, we just kept hugging each other. We never wanted to let go of each other. Gotta love those slow dances!

She's in Year 11, she's smart, arty, speaks several languages, has spent 6 months living in France. She's cute and sexy and smells so nice. She was teaching me to speak French, and I have learned so much from her, and she from me, partly because of the age difference, and because she's so damn smart.

After seven wonderful months together, she broke up with me. She's met someone her own age. I'm so heartbroken! I loved spending my time with her.

Dunno what the point of this story is, but i hope it gives you all something to think about!

PS this was all done with her parents permission, but maybe not their "blessing".

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

I know exactly how you feel. Im a chick and fell madly in love with my Science teacher too, but shes a chick too. Shes engaged and getting married in November. I told her i loved her, and from then on things have gone all down hill. Dont make the same mistake as me. Keep it to yourself, and dont try to get him for yourself. And dont tell anyone your secrets, unless you can really trust them, i know this from personally experience. First try to get over him, and if that doesnt work talk to a counselor about it. If that doesnt work then i guess you are really in love, cause thats what happened to me. I still love her, but if i dont get over her i was told i was going to get expelled or moved classes, so just think about what your doing, and whatever you do DONT BECME OBSESSIVE OR STALK HIM!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007):

Hey hun, listen I don`t think anybody else knows exactly what you`re going through as much as I do. I fell in head-over-heels love with my reading/writing teacher this year, and the second I did it was extremely hard because halfway through the year he got engaged. When I heard this, I literally cried because of it. All my friends think I am INSANE , except for a few who actually understand. And this year I`m going to high school, away from him for possibly the rest of my life except for occasional visits. I just felt he was perfect, everything I needed, he was the sweetest man ever and I always thought that he treated me differently than other students. But I`m currently working on the same problem you are ... mostly I try to keep in touch with e-mail , but whenever I start thinking about us being together, I remind myself that maybe there`s a reason why hes 12 years older than I am. Perhaps there`s a reason he got engaged ... it just wasn`t meant to be. And as unbelievably hard it is to grasp that concept, I`m trying to accept it and you should to. I believe there`s a perfect person out there for everyone, and I wish you luck. But for now, try to just accept the fact that it can`t work, and busy yourself with other things. Good luck! 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

wow I didnt realise so many others had feelings for their teachers... I aways thought it was immensly abnormal and that I was pathetic for even considering that I lovef my teacher... but I do!!! He's my history teacher and he's incredibly good-looking, but he's soo conceited and proud with his gestures and the way he acts, that it really annoys me, but at the same time makes me fall inlove with him even more. I'm 15 years old & he's probly atleast in his 30's lol... but part of me can't stop thinkin about him. I mean his the perfect kinda guy... and I always fall for older guys because there soo much more mature (and ive been known to be very mature for my age) and I know crazy... but I really do love him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007):

hey hun. I totally know how you fee. I am 16 and i am to in loce with my teacher who is 30. I really love him and i feel we have a connection. I haven't told anyone this before so i know how you feel. Try to control your emotions, i know its hard, but one day you will find your real prince charming.

All the best

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

fantasies are a good thing to have. But I've only heard of two student-teacher relationships that worked in the end. Sorry. There's a pretty good chance it won't work, but If you must,...you could do what I did...and there are seven words that can explain it. "Some people think I am stalking her". But try your best not to do that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007):

Just about everyone on his thread knows what your going through. I do. I am very much in love with my english teacher.

(At our school we divide the grades in two, two teachers for each main subject. She is on the other "team", so I'm not in her classes.(and she's my friends english teacher, not mine)). she's about twice my age, but that doesn't make a difference to me. I am not going to be able to see her again unless I can find her address and talk to her personally, or if we'd run into each other somewhere. And where I live there has been only one student teacher relationship, and it did not work. I know that she is single. And there's that unexplainable connection between us. Almost everyday I watch her and we stare deeply into each others eyes. I just have 37 days until the last day of school, then I wont be able to see her for a while...And she could get engaged...I want to wait until I'm 18 for things if she's still single. So I need to tell her something before the last day..Like "Every school has at least one affectionate student every few years. I'm that student and I like you. Even though you haven't been my teacher I am still in love with you...".

What should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007):

wow i had no idea how many people had crushes on their teacher! i never have before because all my teachers haven't been very good looking, but alas i have ended up being rather into one who is 44 (i think) and not exactly very good looking. well i think he is. but no-one else does. he doesn't like me atall he thinks i'm an idiot, it is painful. so atleast you have a good relationship with this teacher.

having read all of these answers i now see that most students will fall for teachers who they are close to and it's easy to develop feelings of that kind for someone in a position of trust who shows you attention.

MY ADVICE is just to appreciate the good relationship you have with your teacher, and not do anything about it. i think if a teacher wanted anything to happen, then they would do something about it. it is unlikely that anything could come from this but i totally sympathize, just admire him from afar from now. these crushes do make school more fun!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007):

I don't know if I love my teacher but I do really like him. He is the first male I have really liked the personality of... and I really hate guys my age, they are all the same. I am 16 (although I'm 17 soon) and my teacher is 26. I haven't known him that long, he is not my official teacher he just teaches one lesson part time at sixth form college so I actually don't know if it would be illegal if anything happened. He finishes teaching us in like May though, I would really love if we could be friends after but I don't get to see him often. I am so confused, I keep thinking I don't like this guy really but whenever I'm with him I just want to sit and talk for hours and more recently I've started feeling very nervous when I'm around him. The tension really gets to me if we are alone talking and I really want to confess but I know it can't happen. I wish people my age would be nicer but they're not.

And to the people who are saying 'you don't love your teacher it's just a stupid crush'.. why don't you shut the fuck up because you have no idea how other people feel, (especially people you haven't even met).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007):

I know exactly what you're going through. You'll never be alone with this kind of problem. Many, many people have gone through it. I assume you've heard stories of teachers and students getting together, and they turned out for the best. Well, most of them will not turn out like that, believe me. I'm 16 and my teacher is 44. He was my history teacher for freshman year, and I've been in love with him ever since. He married a woman from England in December '05, and she's coming here to America.

There's nothing I can do about it now. I couldn't break them apart even if I tried to. I'm not that kind of girl.

I'm quite shy, so I never show my feelings toward him. Him, I'm not so sure about. I feel he treats me differently than the other students. I think he has amazing eyes and the times he holds his gaze at me, I can do nothing but smile, then blush, & turn away. The worst thing is, the more I pull away, the more I still want him. I like that he listens to me, and I do the same to him. As he said once, "you have a sympathetic ear."

Well, I think the best solution is to just..admire him from afar. That's what I'm trying to do. Sometimes I have to tell myself, "He's not anything you need." or "You'll find the right guy someday." Maybe I'll find someone with the same qualities as him, and hopefully..he'll be closer to my age! =]

I wish you the best of luck, and don't worry, I'm sure you'll find the right person!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007):

I know exactly what you're going through. You'll never be alone with this kind of problem. Many, many people have gone through it. I assume you've heard stories of teachers and students getting together, and they turned out for the best. Well, most of them will not turn out like that, believe me. I'm 16 and my teacher is 44. He was my history teacher for freshman year, and I've been in love with him ever since. He married a woman from England in December '05, and she's coming here to America.

There's nothing I can do about it now. I couldn't break them apart even if I tried to. I'm not that kind of girl.

I'm quite shy, so I never show my feelings toward him. Him, I'm not so sure about. I feel he treats me differently than the other students. I think he has amazing eyes and the times he holds his gaze at me, I can do nothing but smile and turn away. The worst thing is, the more I pull away, the more I still want him. I like that he listens to me, and I do the same to him. As he said once, "you have a sympathetic ear."

Well, I think the best solution is to just..admire him from afar. That's what I'm trying to do. Sometimes I have to tell myself, "He's not anything you need." or "You'll find the right guy someday." Maybe I'll find someone with the same qualities as him, and hopefully..he'll be closer to my age! =]

I wish you the best of luck, and don't worry, I'm sure you'll find the right person!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007):

I know exactly what your going through, I am MADLY in love with my french teacher and I can't seem to get over him. I have had him for two years in a row so far and I think this year we are really hitting it off. I'm 16 and he's 29, but I know he really likes me and he always tells me Im his favorite student. One time he even smacked my butt ^^. Next year, is my final year in his class though and every time days past by and I dont see him I get this feeling inside. Sometimes while Im with my friends, I wish weekends would just pass by, that way I could be in his class and get to talk/flirt/joke around with him. He is SINGLE and he has NO kids and is just so awesome. I tell myself that it is just an infatuation, and Im hoping that I'll get over him, but I just can't. All I can tell you is D-R-E-A-M. And maybe one day youll get over him :].

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007):

Hey. i totally relate to what you're going through: i fell in love with my maths teacher who had a girlfriend ans was 20 years older than me...no kids though. In some ways you're lucky. you realised how you felt before he left which, unfortunately wasn't the case with me as i only realised i loved him after he and his girlfriend had moved to Ireland. After that i wrote him a letter that told him indirectly how i felt. it was a 'read between the lines' thing that i'm sure he got coz he's a smart man. Funnily enough i had no reply and have regretted sending that letter every day since. he promised that he'd come to our prom the day he left but i don't think he's going to be there and it's probably all my fault. don't make the same mistake i did. just admire him from afar and don't screw up whatever relationship you might have with him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007):

I completely understand. And though people may laugh and tell you it is just a little crush, it might not be. I, myself, am 18 and in love with my 31-year old English teacher. When I picture us together, we are doing simple little things like watching t.v. or reading side-by-side. I just want to know him and be a part of his life. Though I wish he would love me, I am happy just loving him unconditionally. It is frustrating, though, to know how perfect we would be together, but also knowing that he is too good and moral of a man to go after someone in my position.

I have had this teacher three years in a row, and each time I have gotten the highest mark in the class. He always calls on me to read or answer questions, and teases me mercilessly. Once when I jokingly put myself down while talking to him, he looked at the ground and said, "I don't think you realize how good you are...", then seemed to regret saying it. He commented on my eyes once. He said though I pretend I'm mean, I'm really nice. When our school went to drama camp, he wrote an inside joke on my souvenir t-shirt, then underneathe it wrote, "You are wonderful." He goes out of his way NOT to compliment me, saying things instead like, "Deanna, you look very summery today". He calls me Dee. He once complained about how I never say hi to him in the halls. He said I am "adorable". And people still try to convince me that he only likes me as a student. It is all so confusing.

There is always a sort of, dare I say it, sexual tension between us when we talk. I don't know for sure if he feels it too, but I think he does. He has been dating someone for over 10 years, though, and I doubt there is any way I can break that.

He feels like a great friend to me, and I feel like he's the only person who really understands me. I can only hope that if it really is love, we will end up together in the future. But for now, I can only dream.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

please dont get in a relationship with your teacher. why dont you tell him how you fell and see what happens

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007):

I feel for you. I'm in love with my ex-History teacher even though he left our school just under a year ago.

I know it's not a stupid crush...I actually am in love with him. He seems like the perfect guy...I know nothing will ever happen, especially because he's moved to England (from Australia) but I still love him and will probably never forget about him.

My teacher didn't have a girlfriend or kids so I guess it's slightly different to your problem. My advice would be admire from afar and try get to know him better. Don't do anything while your at school, but when you leave and he's still around and doesn't have a girlfriend then you can try go for something.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007):

I'm sorry that you're having to agonize over something like this, really I am. But I think you know by now that you're not the only one. :)

I have a crush on a teacher myself; he's 26 and I'm 18. I'm old enough to know that what I feel for him is NOT love, however, but a silly, little-girl crush that I keep to myself. In fact, the sheer ridiculousness of my feelings for him is quite enough to get me laughing outloud! :D

I've had this silly little crush on him for only a fraction of the time I have known/been friends with him, and I think it happened after he burned me a mixed CD with a bunch of love songs on it the day after he found out something really awful happened to me. It made me feel all fuzzy inside for weeks! But I have always kept in mind that our student/teacher relationship and our (albeit relatively mild) age difference would be damaging to any other prospective romantic relationship we could have together. The reality of the matter is that it's not very likely that you are TRULY in love with your teacher, but highly infatuated. Trust me, we have all been there!

The teacher I'm infatuated with has been married for about three and a half years (I've know him almost three), and has a little son (for whom I have babysat). It's strange, but despite my own feelings for him, I have always sincerely wished him well with his wife and toddler. True, there have been times when I have been hard-pressed to get him out of my head, but I know that in time I'll be able to get over him and move on. I think that he and I will always be great friends (we go out to lunch/see shows together a lot, and I'm his babysitter) and that's good enough for me.

I hope that just being friends with your teacher will be good enough for you, too. If you really love him, babe, you'll learn to let him go. I bet if you're patient enough, you'll meet a boy your age who is even better than him!

Best of luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007):

Hello everyone,

I must say that im not shocked by any of these stories.

Im a 33 year old R.E teacher.In my 13 years of experiance i have had many colleagues who have come into the staffroom extremely pale and looking very ill.Upon asking them what is the matter thy tell me that some student or other told them that they have well...lets say more than friendly feelings for them.

In the schools i have taught at this has happened 9 times in total and twice it even happened to me.A word of advice for you all!

However much you think that your teacher likes you they will never do anything about it,Its wrong.On the first occasion when it happened to me i was appalled!A young girl no older than 15 practically leaped on me at the end of the class and tried to kiss me.As teachers and responsible adults we have to report it to the head and depending on the circumstances the student that has professed her feelings can be suspended or expelled.

Just keep your feelings to yourself.

Though it is flattering its the worst thing that can happen in a teachers career.

Best Wishes,

J.Dixon

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006):

lol i'll say that a lot of people r in this situation.

I'm kinda in this situation too..but it isnt that much,,

it's jst that I feel much more comfy around this teacher than the other ones and would find a way to always be where she is(like school activities)and enjoy being in her classes.

and wot i've been doing is tryin to be in her classes as much as possible.Next year i'll be having her which is awesome..XD..

but i knw this is getting no where which is fine..=)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006):

Ahhh, I know exactly how you're feeling!!!

I'm completely infatuated with my Honors English teacher! He is trully all that I would want in a guy(corny as that sounds). He's really funny, good looking, EXTREMELY intelligent, and all over understanding.

I will say he is quite a bit flirsty with me. One time I was sitting alone at a bunch of desks and he sat next to me and randomly, RANDOMLY said "arouse". I know there are a lot of meanings for arouse, but following, he winked at me... Although that made my heart flutter, I realize that being 15, and him being 32, is a bit knappy. I mean, really, if anything did ever happen between us, I'd have to be worrying that he was after some other 15 year old as well!

Same old advice-try to find someone else :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2006):

Hey everyone. Reading all of these entries has really opened my eyes up to the fact that I am really not alone in my situation. I began as a senior at a new school this fall, and as a lover of english, reading, and writing, I took both English and Creative Writing. Well it turned out that my teacher for both of those classes was the same. Mr. A . I immediately came to terms with the fact that he was an amazing teacher; intellectual, intelligent, insightful and witty....handsome and funny. It didn't take long for me to fall for him. What took so long was actually admitting to myself that I had fallen for my teacher whom I looked up to and trusted with everything. Well, he is 31 and is married with an infant son. And I am just going on 18 this saturday. There is not one hour that goes by without me thinking about Mr. A. He is so much to me, and all I desire is to be closer to him...to learn everything about him. I care so much about him. I know all of this sounds so ridiculous, but the facts are that I cannot help who I fall for...inappropriate or not. I know that he knows, there's no way he can't. He is so good to me, he treats me like an adult, not a student. He writes awesome comments on my papers....flirting you know. I know he means no harm, but I cannot help that my heart beats unhealthily when I think of him or look at him, or when he talks to me. It's just the way it is. Ladies...and boys too....if you fall in love with your teacher, just remember, you are not the only one....because I fell in love with one, once, too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006):

Aww I feel for you miss.

This is a tough situation. It's hard. There's no denying. I think it's hard when you have a crush on anybody at our age (eh. I'm 14 by the way), let alone a teacher. I mean, I kinda have a crush thing on my teacher whos 26, single, no kinds, and a complete and utter dork. He's a child at heart! He plays video games and watches cartoons (no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend haha). And that's weird for me because I'm completley insane, black and blonde har, piercings included. It happens to everyone, you know? Falling in love in the weirdest situations, or whatever the fuck love is. But try not to keep it all inside. Talk to your buddies about it. I know Mr. D has a fricking fan club of girls. I'm not THAT obssesed, but it is pretty funny ;D Anyways, seriously. I piss my pants laughing at how ridiculous they look. Just try to look for guys a year, two, or three older. And maybe dating isn't for you right now! Concentrate on doing the things you love, like if you're in a band, drawing, sports, whatever. A little patience goes a long way babe, haha trust me. And enjoy these years kay?

Laugh a little. Have fun with your friends missy. Just live but stay safe and try to be a 14 year old, not an immensely mature "teacher-groupie".

Best wishes girlie

-Kelsey

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006):

i love my teacher. he is thirteen years older than me. and i am 14 years old. so this is my last year at that school, that means it's the last year i'll be seeing him. and it kills me. he's not married and hasnt dated since freshman year of highschool because he isnt into the dating thing.. he thinks he is too young to try and find a wifeyy because he is more centered around his beginning career. and since this is his third year of teaching, im guessing he is naive and thinks his studnets should know this personal stuff about him..? i dont mind. i like it =]he treats a majority of his students like really good friends. and since he is a teacher that teaches every grade (6-8) ive had him every year so we know each other real well. he is always nice to me. and loving him has taken it's toll. i suffer from depression. and the weird thing is, he is the only one that seems to care. a couple of times this year he has stopped me in the hallway asking me if i was okay and that if i needed anyone to talk to, he was there for me. i pray every night to feel better. but it feels like im not supposed to get over him. he is from virginia, too. which is odd that he came to kentucky.. to be a TEACHER. wtf mates? and it's not like he was trying to get away from his parents because he goes back to VA every chance he gets. like four day weekends. i'm so lucky i got to meet such a wonderful person like him. hopefully, we were meant to be together

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006):

i know how you feel, i fell in love with my sixth form english teacher who is about 37, and now he is married, he is so nice to me and says how im his fave student and stuff, i used to dream that i could be with him, but once i forced myself to accept that nothing could ever happen between us my feelings gradually faded, i mean not completely as i still have feelings for him, but we just get on well and im happy with that, i can enjoy it and right now im fine because that is all i want from him, so get to know your teacher as friends, but just enjoy that and don't try to take it any further as you will only end up getting hurt...its gonna be hard, but perhaps you are just in need of a fatherly figure...? you can't help who you fall in love with, i know that...its weird because i stopped loving my english teacher but i have fallen in love again, with a different teacher, he teaches me music and has been so nice to me and helped me through so much like when my dad died he was always there for me, and although he is young (25) and flirty with me i know nothing can ever happen....although i will admit that even though it would be so wrong, if he tried anything with me i would not reject him... but i trust him with my life...and i have learnt lessons from the two teachers i fell in love with, i would never tell either of them how i feel, bit i can't help my feelings and i will never forget how great they have been to me...but trust me a relationship with your teacher is not worth it, he would only be taking advantage of you being young, and vulnerable(sorry to patronise you, but you may be mature for your age, but not enough for his age)and teachers have access to so many young girls they cannot have reationships with them...it would be classed as paedophilia, and you would ruin both your lives if you were caught...no sensible, kind teacher would risk hurting a student like that emotionally...so trust me, don't even go there...and i promise you, its great to dream, its fun to imagine that you could be with him, but just enjoy him as your teacher...be grateful that he is in your life...that is all it can be

good luck,

Hannah, 17

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006):

I dont have the best advice when it comes to love, I generaly manage to screw it up someware along the way. But still, Im not trying to offend you, but if you really are mature for your age you should be able to see, this just wont work. Some of my friends have felt in love with their teachers to, but they never even concidered doing anything about it. My advice is to move on and ask a guy your own age, i know at 14 us guys are a bunch of dumb asses, but try to find a guy with a little maturity and you should have fun. And remember, dating is supposed to be fun at your age, not lying awake thinking about your teacher or being with a guy you don't like. My other advice is look for a guy you have never actualy thought about dating, usualy girls your age pick the immature hyper rittalin taking jerk off, dont do that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006):

I am a male and i am 16. I had sex with my teacher but it wasn't i thought it would be. I would just forget him and you'll find someone who you like closer to your age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006):

Hey, I know exactlly how you feel...I liked a man who was 20 years older than me, but he had a wife, and just recently had a kid. I still like him a lot, but I've found someone else who is about 27 years older than me, but he's single and doesn't have a wife or anything, so your definitely not alone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006):

Well I don't know what to tell you, aside from I'm in the same position- only the teacher I love is married with a son. He's been divorced once however, so I dunno. He's been bummed out lately, but we spend time together, and talk despite the time being cut down. I don't actually have him as one of my teachers, I met him one day and really fell fast. So I kept in touch, and now I really think he sees me not as a student in the school, but as a friend. Even if that's as far as it ever goes- it's an amazing time just being friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006):

Hey,

So I am in your exact situation...only this teacher is probably about 30 years older than me. But I love him, I want him so bad. Unortunetly, he is married and has kids. I hate it, because I just wish that he could be mine...but oh well...if it is meant to be, then it will happen. So dont worry about it, I know how you feel...and from reading through the other responses....alot of people do!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006):

I am in your situation, I totally am crazy for my science teacher. I have liked him for three years now, and im 16, and hes 29, i dont know what to do. HELP!!!! I love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to marry him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006):

I'm in the same situation with my teacher the head of year assistant, I been in love with him for the last 3 years and, a few days ago i find out he was married and that broke my heart because for a moment I thout I could have a future with him and now everithing in my life is so confusing I don't know what to do, and I'm trying to forget him but everytime that I make an effort he just appears in front of me. I really need HELP.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006):

I have been through the same thing. Except my science teacher was married. He was funny, smart, easy to talk to, everything i wanted in a man. I think you should go for it. I just tried to let him go and I made the biggest mistake of my life. If you love him, don't let him go.!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006):

i can totally relate im in luv with my band teacher who is 27 im 14 going on 15 and i cant stop thinking about him he has no kids and no gf so its perfect but i know it will never happen so i just enjoy him while i can i even dream(like every night) that he comess and picks me up in the middle of the night so good luck! you'll get over him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006):

well sorry to burst ur bubble but I have to see ur not in love its just a stupid kid crush. And also even if u leave school he's going to be married and u wont even know if he likes u back and trust me u'll meet someone and u'll fall in love!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2006):

im 16 and love my teacher, will never get over him........ from last year.. sad. i dont even get along with the boys in my grade or around my age now, because i love a guy at least 20 years older than me who is married with kids.. i know it would never work out but its fun to imagine.. hehe... just my dirtttty little secret ;)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006):

I can completely relate to you. I've been in love with my physics teacher since I was 17 years old. I'm now 20 and hes 43, and I still think of him on occassion and if I happen to run into him. The worst part was that not only was he married but his wife also worked in the school and by the time I graduated she hated me just cuz I used to talk to him, I could only imagine if she found out I liked him. My advice to you would just be to get to know him and have fun spending time with him, but just be sure you know that any type of relationship besides friends is not only illegal but improbable. I wish you the best of luck with everything

=]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2006):

Hey, I do hope that your still hanging in their.I myself fell in love with my teacher, hes 19 years older than me. No matter what people tell me I belive in what my heart tells me and its love.You do have to undersatnd that its impossible. In their eyes were little girls who are still learning. I must admit he flirts. He does know that I have feelings towards him but that has not changed anything. What I recommend is just be satisfied that your able to have him in your life, well at least part of it.Dream. If you dont your going to go nuts like me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006):

Hey there!

Don't worry about it...I myself have been in love with my music teacher since the beginning of Year 10 [I'm entering Year 12 in August]. He's at least 20 years older, married with three young sons and a toddler daughter, but I just can't help my feelings. He's really funny and nice to me, especially during the school trip we just had together.

We're in the same boat, mate - don't worry, all right?

- hopeless_xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006):

Well i sum what have the same problem! Im 16 and hes bout 30 years older. We started spending lots of time together even on days i didnt have his class, had between class chats, after class chats, after school chats. Even during class he'd pull me out into the hall just to flirt sum more, or purposly lose my homework. It just encouraged both of us to want more. So during his free period i'd skip my class and go to his, which was a bad idea got me in alot of trouble but it was worth it. This year he quit for a better job, so now we attend hockey games together. Im not sure how he feels about me i know he flirts but he does have a wife......of course she never attends the hockey games its just us. But i dont care i love his company and i love spending time with him even if hes just a frend. According to him im the best student he ever had and he wants me in his life everyday

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (10 July 2006):

willywombat agony auntThis is a crush. A harmless infatuation with somebody who is as unattainable as Robbie Williams or Justin Timberlake. You will grow out of it in time.

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006):

i am 14 n fancie the pants off me music teacher he is about 46! he always says im his fave pupil n rings my parents to see if im ok when absent from school he also stays back after school on a friday night to give me private guitar lessons im proper falling 4 him n he aint making it any easier for me lol i know how you feel you are not alone

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006):

OMG. I know how you feel exactly. Im 14 and in love with my teacher like so much. I actually just graduated a few weeks ago and Im dreading next year without him. I knew it would never work out with us, Hes like 10 years older, married and with kids. But sometimes I got the feeling he DID like me. It made me happy but then I knew I just wanted to think that. hes funny and always seems like he doesnt mind me hanging with him. He is amazing. I cant believe living without him. I've tried getting over him but I keep dreaming about him and I love him so much. But just hang on. Soon youll find sombody and get over him...hopefully. Im still not over my teacher. Good luck.

Some random kid in the middle of nowhere

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2006):

Hey i know how you feel! I'm 14 too and in love with my history teacher. im seriously head over heels for him. i spend a LOT of time talking to him and getting to know him and they have been one of the funnest times in this year. so you should do the same and enjoy it while it lasts. good luck! but please dont tell him you like him because then it will be IMMENSELY weird!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2006):

I know exactly how you're feeling, as many of the people who have replied do too.

I'm 16 and have been in love with my ex-Art teacher (43 years old and married) for four years. I'm due to leave school very soon and I still haven't got over him, so don't worry if you can't or don't want to.

I would say enjoy the time you get to spend with him - just talk to him when you see him, joke around with him and be yourself - though I wouldn't follow him around all the time, in case you seem like a stalker!!

I found it helps to write soppy poetry and love songs, and post them up on sites such as deviantArt, under a made-up username. This way, you get to express your feelings without anyone getting hurt.

Also, don't be embarassed about imagining wild, completely nonsensical scenes of you and him together - it's OK to think about sex, and it can help you feel better about the situation.

You're not stupid - I think you realise that there's not really a chance between you and him, and that's smart. Just keep things as a teacher pupil relationship - if you just act friendly and be yourself, there's no reason why he can't appreciate you as a clever, mature student.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2006):

I know exactly the way you feel, i was in love with my teacher and he was 40 and i was 13. I kept telling myself this isnt going to work out and he has a wife and 2 kids. I even would purposly do bad in that class so i would have to stay after school to spend more time with him. I finally got over him by getting a boyfriend my age that i am in love with. You will eventually get over your teacher and find somebody you really care about so dont worry about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2006):

Hey I know what youre going trough and i agree with alot of the answers here.I'm in love with my biology teacher. I'm 15 and hes 34 so the age difference is quite great but something is true its your number one ticket to misery. Hes a very teasing person.One time while giving me a screw he asked me do you want to screw off course playing around but it made me happy. He has a girl friend and a child is coming on the way so my hopes are gone but youre not alone

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2006):

i undastand wat every1s goin through im madly in love with my ex teacher i wud do anything 4 her i love her so much it hurts iv told her about my feelins because i couldnt keep them 2 myself any more but she doesnt feel the same and now she has a boyfriend and its killin me inside. i dont no wat 2 do its been 2 years

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006):

Don't worry. Im in love with my ex-Geography teacher. I don't know how life would be without him. I think about him constantly and i just want to be with him. All the boys that i know around my age are idiots - And are only after one thing. If my teacher did come onto me, sexually, i wouldn't stop it - But then i would initiate it neither.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006):

I know exactly what you are going through! It is tough. In the end it will probably not work out but you never know, you could be suprised! Defanitly get to know him well, and then figure out what your next move will be.

BEST OF LUCK!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2006):

Hun, I've been there, done that, but trust me...it is a one way ticket to misery. I agree with some of the answers here, but you should definitely try and find someone your own age.

I fell in love with my very single, college fencing teacher, he however is 35, I am 24. Even that small of an age gap, is just that, a gap that is very hard to get over. We are very good friends, and always have been, but the teacher/student thing is just something that he could not ignore, and truth be told, I could not either. Please find someone your own age, that you can relate to, and actually have a hope of having a rewarding relationship with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006):

hey, i'm in love with my music teacher, and i have been for three years since i started the school i'm in now, he's so kind and funny and lovely to me. but He's also married with three kids. just wanted to say your not alone lol, xxx

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A female reader, sexyema +, writes (13 March 2006):

heya im a teacher lover to i am mad about my science teacher dont worry your not the only one lol and mines married and he fancys me 2

love emma im 15

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A female reader, sexyema +, writes (13 March 2006):

heya im emma i am madly inlove with my sicnce teacher to i cant stop thinking about him

love from emma xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

you should leave him alone and find someone your age who can appreciate you as you are and not a man who has a finace

love alexis

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006):

Girl, you are not immensely mature, and even if you were, immensely mature for fourteen isn't very mature. If you want to ruin three people's lives, just continue. You'll break up the engagement, he could go to jail, and any way it goes you'll look like an ass.

Tighten up, get your teeny-bopper head on straight, and go find a boyfriend not more than two years older so you'll have a chance of an occasional conversation. You wouldn't want a 24 year old guy who's attracted to children anyway. That's sick, and so would he be.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2006):

Hi everybody!

Trust me,i do know what you are all going through

i was in love with my teacher for almost 3 years and it was really hard for me to get him out of my head but you know...nothing was ever going to happen because my case was just kinda scary!He was 34 years older than me,he was married and had 3 kids(one of them was my classmate) and even more freaky was the fact that i thought that he was interested too but he was trying to hold it because that would be a very very big scandal!

But right now,i don't really care any more plus i don't see him very often but trust me,i know how hard it is...it seems like any other person could never be like him!It's a common thing and it happens to many many students(the majority of them are girls)!This too shall pass...trust me...but till then just enjoy your feelings for this person so you will never regret the love that you felt for them!That's the greatest thing!Have fun and try not to take it seriously,just have fun and whatever happens,happens! :o)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006):

you might not even get this teacher to be yours, but you never know, i think you should just talk to him and get to know him better, i like a teacher, he sometimes talks to me or occasionly smiles, but i know i will never get him, but let me tell you something, i dont think you should forget about this teacher.

just talk to him, i think that about 40% of teenage girls like their teachers, but they just dont say, let me just say, i think you are incredily brave if you can go up to him and talk to him without blushing, cos i cant, thats waht hurts me the most!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006):

hi, i feel 4 u i really do, i fell in love with my english teacher in yr 11 (he's 33 im 17) and he was always immensly flirtatious. i had a boyfriend of 3 yrs and he had a girlfriend of 7 but in yr 12 we confessed that we had feelings 4 each other, secret meetings in classrooms and his office were great but it got really serious really quick and i got scared and told the school. long story short he was fired and my love has in turn completely ruined his life as he can never work with children ever again. we still speak now and i do still have strong feelings 4 him but it wasnt worth the pain i put him and his girlfriend through, think about it if u act on your feelings whilst ur still at school u could end up ruinin someones life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2005):

Hey Hunny, I'm 15 years old. I know what your going through! i fell in love with my teacher in yr 7 and now im in yr 10 and i'm still head over heels for him! although in my heart of hearts i no nothing will happen because he is 25 yrs older, a girl can still dream rite? he has a wife and a child and now i no them all very well. at the time i joined every after school club goin and would go hang out near his office, now its just coinsidence wen we bump into each other, all u gotta remember is be urself no one else and you never no he may just like you all the same but not want to leave what he has for the sake of a mad teenager! you know what im sayin? well hunny hope this helps u, stay in love it always helps!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005):

Exactly this has happened to me. In year 10, i fell head over heels for my physics teacher he was also engaged and 10 years older than me. Now he is married with a baby and I still love him but you cant go for it because he is unlikely to be interested as he plans to devote his whole life to someone else. You can still dream about him and talk to him but dont reveal your feelings to him or he will run a mile to protect his career. The best way to get over him is to find something new to do where you will meet more boys. Even if you dont stop loving him these boys will distract your attention and you may even find someone else. I got a job and now even though i still love my teacher i have found a guy at work who i like. i hope this helps xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2005):

hey there it seems to me you feel confused and your hair is just comming out from all the stress your going through. i myself have a huge crush on my art teacher, in fact i always find myself crushing on alot teachers. to me its not because i want a good grade its because i feel that all the guys my age are too immature for me. i personaly think that age doesnt matter, its what you feel is right and true to yourself. i have gotten into alot of trouble for not really thinking it trough and just throwing myself to them dont make that same mistake. do it slow and reasonable. GOOD LUCK

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A reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (13 June 2005):

Mickey_Powell agony auntDont worry i used to be in luv with my welsh teacher. Rugby player absolutely gorgeous!! but i knew it would never happen. Im still in skool and still get taught by him. I still have feelings and look at his bum now and again, but i always know nothing is going to happen!!

You should definetely forget about him because he is engaged and he probably doesnt feel the same because he will get into serious trouble!! If you are mature you will know what to do, but im warning u things can go really bad.

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A reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):

Your big sis agony auntHoney, every young woman has a crush on an older man at one time or another in their teen years. But that's what makes them crushes, knowing it could never happen. (Or should never happen in this instance.) Crushes come and go. You are 14 years old. Believe me in 4 years time when you're 18, you'll have forgotten it. And open your eyes to the guys around who are your own age. You have a chance to date them. Your teenage years are the most fun in a person's life. Don't spend them wishing on something that has a 0% chance of happening. Try not to think about it and soon you will forget. Mr. Mitze never knew I had a crush on him and today I laugh about it now. Someday you will too. Take care sweetie.

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (7 June 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntCorral 50 to 100 mature and sensible adults in a room together and ask them about this matter and you'll find that a good 95% will admit to falling "in love" with a high school teacher. The other 5% will be lying.

It's extremely common to have your first real, serious crush on a teacher, but that 10 years between teacher and student is practically unbridgable. You're a student, one of hundreds that he teaches. One of thousands he'll have the responsbility for in his career. He just won't ever consider you as a serious candidate for romance, not even once you've left school. There are too many moral and legal barriers.

As 'Shane' has said, go ahead and enjoy the fantasy, but don't plan on anything happening. (Let's not forget that he's engaged and will probably be married before you're even of legal age.) In a year or two, you'll either have a boyfriend your own age, or a new fantasy lover... and both are fine.

Take care.

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A reader, Shane +, writes (6 June 2005):

Hey there!

Ok I can speak from experience here. In first year we had an absolutely gorgeous form teacher called Miss McCarthy. She was about 26, funny and really nice to me. Needless to say, I fell totally and utterly in love. I'd spend nights fantasising about running away with her and kissing her. So I can realate to you totally here.

What I can tell you is stuff that I've learned since then. There's a difference between love and infatuation, and it's one I had to learn on numerous times. You know that phrase 'love at first sight'? There's no such thing.

Think about it, you can meet someone who is utterly gorgeous and funny, but can you fall in love with them without knowing them, the person that they really are? I don't think so. If you truely love someone, you should be able to know and accept all their little faults and quirks, you should be able to love their true personality, rather than the masks they wear to hide themselves from daily scrutiny(prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet). Yeah, I like T.S. Eliot...ahem.

What I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that you need to understand that you're not actually in love with him! Yes, I know that you can't stop thinking about him and you fantasise about a life together, but until you actually know the true man, there's not really any way you could be in love.It's infatuation, or possibly even lust. I mean, do you actually know him personally? Have you talked to him about politics, religion, his views on the war in Iraq? Do you know whether he prefers dogs or cats, his favourite food or band? What I want you to see is that you actually don't know much about him, and you're infatuated with the idea of what he could be like. I know. I was exactly the same.

Finally, a harsh truth that I also learned. Most adults will have little to no interest in a 14 year old boy/girl. And if they do...best to steer clear. You say that he is engaged, which should also maybe show you that the actual possibility of a relationship is remote.

I'm sorry that this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. There's nothing wrong with fantasising about someone, I do it all the time with Angelina Jolie (don't tell the gf plz!) But you have to be careful when you seriously consider pursuing a life with someone who's not available. So by all means, have a crush on him, talk to him and enjoy his company. But I wouldn't actually do anything about it, cause in the end you only wind up embarassed. Like I said, I know...

Hope this helps, and I know you'll be disappointed, but don't worry, a girl as intelligent and mature as yourself will find someone to make you very happy. I promise!

Best of luck

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