A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help! I think I might be interested in a girl and I want to know what to do.The problem is I am very overweight and I get a feeling that being overweight and asking someone out may get a really negative reaction...you know sort of people being grossed out by the thought of the fat guy looking for a girlfriend.I really like her as a person and am starting to consider her a friend. I am still not sure if I really do like her romantically.I just want some advice on how maybe to approach her if I choose to. I don't want to be too direct, but I don't everything to be just seen as being friendly.
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male
reader, apathyslastkiss  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 hmm, I here you brother. I am overweight as well. But let me say a couple of things first.
It sounds like you're only just getting to know her, and it also sounds like you're not entirely sure if you want to ask her out: These are both very good reasons to wait until you have better clarity on what your relationship is, and how you feel. Some of the best relationships are built on friendship.
Personally, I have a positive experience with regards to this. I've been with the same wonderful girl now for almost 4 years. We met in High school, and became good friends. I developed a crush on her pretty early on which wouldn't seem to go away. I gave myself plenty of time, trying to rid my thoughts of her, but it all kept coming back to me. Then, one day, I worked up the courage to tell her how I feel...to make a long story short, she felt the same way, and said yes to wanting to date me. I wasn't as overweight then as I am now, but she loves me, and still wants to be with me. I think this is because we established a good friendship, and she got to see the genuine good guy that I am.
I hope that my experience can benefit you somehow. If not, I apologize. But either way I hope the best for you. Ultimately, you should be honest with her, but I think you ought to know what you're feeling for her a little better first.
Blessings
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Don't let your weight stop you. A person should like you for who you are and if they don't it's not worth worrying over it. A person that would mistreat you for being overweight wouldn't be worth your time anyway!
If you are already becomming friends chances are she doesn't mind because she already knows that you are overweight and still finds you good enough to be a friend. \
There are plenty of guys and gals alike who are overweight and haven't had a problem in getting a girlfriend or boyfriend. To name a few: John Candy (actor) John Belushi(actor) Jack Black (actor) They had women even when they weren't popular.
Some women actually like a guy who is heavier. Some guys like women that way also. Blue_Angel is glad too because she's been a big girl for a few years now. Folks like me because I am ME! Let people see the real you and when they do you will no doubt one day have a nice gal.
If you decide to persue this young lady, just be yourself. Be kind and considerate and treat her with respect. If she is interested and you feel the urge for romance, just let it happen. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You seem a little shy and maybe doubting yourself a bit but you will find that you have alot to offer if you will just let go of your preoccupation about your weight.Your weight doesn't make you what you are, it's only a part of your outward appearance. What you are inside matter's the most.
There is someone for everyone, it takes time to find that person who is better suited for you. I would say to let her know by deed not by words alone. To be patient and allow a friendship to grow before you drop a bomb. *LOL* This will give her time to feel something more in a possible realationship. Take your time, make her feel special. If she likes you she will let you know I am sure.
If for some reason she doesn't feel the same, don't worry as sometimes ideas change, attitudes change and people change. Sometime folks gain weight and sometimes they loose it. All things in life are not so clear but if you loose yourself while trying to find someone else, then you will do no good for anyone. So Cherish each day with your new friend and let the stars guide your heart and hers to the right place and time.
Be prepared to accept her feelings whatever they might be and I hope all your dreams come true~~~
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Just be your self. -best advice ever . . . unless your an actor.
I just broke the ice with a joke not a very good one but still lol. Try it laughter is important and girls love guys that make them laugh! Be confidant. Ask about her. Compliment her and wow her with your intellect.
All the best xx
p.s let me no how it goes. =)
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A
female
reader, This_face +, writes (14 December 2008):
Do you already know her as a friend at all or is asking her out the first step you're taking towards this girl? If you already know her it might help you feel less nervous and more comfortable. However, if you only know her from a distance you might want to slowly get to know her better. Show her your personality and maybe she'll like you for that. Even if people are larger they still should be allowed to look for a person. As long as you make yourself appear as though you take care of yourself and have a good personality you have a chance. What I mean by take care of yourself is make sure you don't let your overwieght issue seem as though it's due to not caring for yourself...just as with any other issue, a person needs to show they are taking care of themselves and it won't get in the way. In life people need to take leeps sometimes and you need to go for it. Try getting to know her and then maybe going for dinner or doing something you enjoy. You want your strong points to overcome your so called weak points and to not have to worry about her thinking of you as being gross or anything like that.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Well While you might be over weight and afraid to ask her out you wont know until you do also it might help you by building your self esteem and being more active their fore you will loose some your weight so go for it I myself look at the inward person and if someone tells you no just because you are over weight chances are they arent worth being bothered with...........
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