A
male
age
30-35,
*allingForHer
writes:My girlfriend of 2 months is great! she's funny, stylish, and is full of energy. Makes me wonder why the hell she would even WANT to date me. The problem I'm having is: it is near impossible for me to talk to her or get close to her. I just wont let myself! I tried to force myself to be more attached to her but I was afraid someone would make fun of us together, so it didnt last long. I know she expects me to be closer to her, but i can't do it easily. Help please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sweety22  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 if you want to get close you are going to have to stop worrying about what others think. the only people's opinions that should be able to get to you is people who know and care for you.
if you want to try get used to it why not go out alone together, see a movie or go for a walk. that'll take the pressure off and you can really get used to each others company and feel more comfortable opening up. once YOU are ok with it then bring other people into the situation.
even if its still a bit worrying if you treat it like its no big deal there's a much bigger chance that everyone else will too.
she's the one you care about so dont let the fear of someone making fun of it stop you
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 You have got this really great girlfriend, funny, stylish, i guess what most of us guys look for in a girlfriend. You are risking losing her over a fear of getting closer to her and this would be silly. You have ultimately got to stop worrying what others think, it does not matter what the hell other think or say, all that matters is what you think. So communicate with your girl, get close to her and open your heart to her, and stop stressing over the reaction of others, if they do say anything they are probably just jealous.
All the best
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A
female
reader, MidtownToDowntown +, writes (14 August 2008):
Normally I'm like this at the start of a relationship (and you two are still in a sense a new couple)
After a while you'll soon forget about everyone else and realise that the relationship consists of you and her and no one else. Why should their opinions matter? As you get to know each other better you'll soon grow more relaxed around each other.
Every night just send her a text message asking her how her day was and have your weekly date (i.e Saturday night=cinema night) This way you two still see each other and get close and at the same time don't come across as clingy
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (14 August 2008):
 sounds like you're afraid to be with her because you think it isn't going to last! you've put her up on a pedestal and you need to take her down pronto for the relationship to work out. don't think "why is she dating me", think "she is lucky to have me"! you need to find the confidence to admit to everyone that you are all that and a chocolate bar. remember, she is with you for a reason. she sees the greatness in you. now all you need to do is become comfortable in your own skin and let that spill out a little bit!
you are good enough and she obviously sees it if she is with you!
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