Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 I also agree with what anon just said. In my experience, this is true - in my best judgment.
A
female
reader, birchybabe15  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 She doesnt deserve you. you did nothing wrong x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): The cheater is the person at greater fault. Every time.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (7 June 2010):
Friend, it's time to go talk to a lawyer. And get proof of the cheating, it'll help you.
Learn whatever you can from this debacle and use that in your next relationship. It will be so much better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): As someone who has had an extra marital affair I can tell you that it is never one sided. For me it was the fact that my husband had begun to take me for granted and our sex life was non existent as he no longer wanted to be intimate with me. In the end I came on to a mutual friend and we began to sleep together regularly. I am now divorced from my husband and have continued my relationship with our friend
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): There are many reasons for an affair, whatever she feels is missing, lacking in your marriage, she should of come to you and talked about it. It not an excuse for your wife to have an affair.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 June 2010):
Wow. Well, to solely blame you is quite appalling really. Most affairs do have a reason, but very rarely is it just down to one person. Maybe there was something missing for her. Maybe she didn't feel that you were close enough. But she didn't have to have an affair for years. She could have said something, or she could have divorced you. So while it's easy to take the blame, don't. Because she could have talked to you. She didn't. She just cheated, which means that she's in the wrong. Personally, I think you should just get rid of her. She had the affair over years. She didn't talk to you. She didn't do anything to try and fix it. And the affair would have continued if you hadn't found out. And that's assuming she's stopped. Seriously, that's not good enough. Get rid of this cheating wife.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): People, blame their partners all the time for cheating, it's their of way of putting back on you.
You are still reeling from the shock. Take some time to take it in.
...............................
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (6 June 2010):
 It's not your fault she cheated on you.
There could be two reasons why she cheated on you.
1. Something from your relationship with her was missing.
2. She is just one of those people who cheats.
Now, you should figure out which one is the reason behind her cheating. Do NOT put the blame on yourself...she cheated instead of working it out. But it would be a learning experience if something was missing so it will not be repeated.
The question though is what are you going to do now?
...............................
A
male
reader, Kama +, writes (6 June 2010):
No. It is not your fault. It's never that easy. Both partners have a responsibility to one another. She has betrayed you; for her to say it is your fault is straight bullshit.
...............................
| 
age
51-59,
*zdieing
writes: