A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what I'm supposed to think or feel. My ex has a new girlfriend and he is declaring undying love for her on social networking sites (so I'm told) when throughout our relationship he told me he never loved me, even though he introduced me to his son and we all went on holiday (which I paid for)after he made a big deal about being sure about 'us' before I met his son.I was dumped a month later (coincided with him getting a job). He was very nasty to me during the breakup, telling me how I turned his stomach because I am fat and calling me ugly. My self esteem took a major knock, I put on two stone and now don't have the confidence to go out and meet someone new. I get the feeling that no one will want me how I am, and I will be alone forever, while he lives it up with his new partner. Part of me hopes that karma will get him and she will dump on him from a great height, and then I feel bad for wishing that on someone. Part of me absolutely hates his guts, and wishes she would wake up and see what a scumbag he is before it's too late and she ends up like me. The other part of me just wishes that we could've worked stuff out and stayed together but God knows I tried. I just feel like my head is in turmoil with it all. I function normally from day to day but the whole thing is always there in the back of my mind as it has been for the past two years. It is mental torture but I can't let go of it. Please can someone help?
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confidence, my ex, on holiday, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 June 2010):
 That's a good girl!!! You can do it Good luck and God Bless you xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks- you are right. He is an a**hole and I need to get on with my life. I'm gonna start working on my new image and get out there. Many thanks x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (6 June 2010):
Darling you Do have closure, he has walked away and the only reason you didn't get an answer was because he's a selfish assh**e!! NOT YOUR FAULT...but also nothing you can do anything to change.
Don't beat yourself up because you have work to do, get organised, get determined, get busy, push yourself through the pain and I promise it will pass.
It's going to be sunnier tomorrow for you xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks AuntyEm for your reply. You are right- I need to concentrate on me now and try to put the past behind me. When we broke up there was loads of stuff I wanted to ask but all I got was insults thrown at me. So there was no closure as such, which I needed to move on. I'm just trying to get on with things day by day. Thanks again x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (6 June 2010):
You've been suffering like this for 2 years??? You must feel absolutely dreadful!!!
Everyone faces rejection in love at one time or another. Some people brush it off and others let it drag them to hell and back.
I know your letting it wreck your life but you need to start putting yourself first. You need to take control because there is nobody else who can make your life work better than you can. There is nobody who knows you better than yourself.
Forget the ex...he is gone (and I think you had a lucky escape) stop peering into his life on social networking...you could be spending the time writing a weblog, or researching health and happiness...you could find a new interest like star watching or apreciating art, you could be talking to other people...there are a infinite number of single people out there all looking to make new friends and aquaintances...so dip your toes in the water!!!
STOP SACRIFICING YOUR LIFE BY DWELLING ON NEGATIVE THOUGHTS OF HIM...HE IS NO LONGER THERE.
Force yourself to let go...you absolutely cannot live in the past...there is only one way to go and that is foward.
Make small changes...you know it already, health, diet, exercise, knowledge, not forgetting to smile, don't neglect your friends and family...all these things will get you through...and you never know what is around the next bend...you just have to have the courage to never give up.
What other choices do you have?
AE x
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