A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do I get through this? Three months ago I broke up with my gay partner of 14 years. We did this because he told me he had been sleeping with my best friend for the last twelve months of our relationship. He said it was "just sex". But it was an indicator that we had grown apart. (Which is true, we had. Despite this coming as a complete shock. Up until that point, I still loved him very much.) Three months after the break up I have discovered that they are dating. That they have feelings for each other and have been seeing each other as "more than friends" for quite a while. As well as lying to me for a year while we were together, they have both been lying to me since we broke up about the true nature of their relationship. I feel betrayed, manipulated and just plain devastated.How do I get through this? What can I do to leave this behind me and move on?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I am so sorry. That happened to me too. I am also gay and my boyfriend cheated on me by sleeping with his best friend. How I found out was he kept accusing me of sleeping around in saunas. I don't understand why he kept saying that. One day out at the bar with his friends, his best friends called me a "cat". And then he cynically came across me, stroked my face and asked me "where in the world can you find cats who don't eat fish?". After that, my boyfriend broke up with me and his best friend slept with him.
A
male
reader, lboy  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 dear reader,
you are obviously better than this guy and if he had the ordasity to lie to you for so long then you were not meant to be. but plz dont sit around in the house wondering what would have happened if it had all been different only fools dwell on the past, you should get out there and try your best to find the right guy for you, because god knows that you deserve him.
good luck
lboy
xxx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Look in the mirror. Tell yourself " I'm worth more than that." He is not worth you being upset becoz he's not the one. The one will be the person who doesn't hurt you.
I had the same thing happen in my relationship (I'm straight though) and I came through it. It is hard, but if I can do it, you can!
Get a couple of your mates, go out and flirt. Meet a guy who will respect you. Have some fun now, you're single!
This guy you were with obviously ain't decent. You're better off without him. Tell yourself that. He'll probably do exactly what he did to you to this guy he's with now and then you can laugh.
Hope I helped :) x
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A
female
reader, Dojha +, writes (13 June 2007):
 There's a saying that 'a tiger never changes it stripes' or loses it. i'm not too sure...so your partner is a CHEATER and will always be a CHEATER.
If you need to get over him, it starts with changing your mind set. See him as the cheater that he is and not some sweet love that you miss. be happy, go out and have some fun with others. before you know it, in time your mr right will walk into your life.
i strongly recommend you listen to beyonce's track 'Irreplacable' for motivation cos u can have 'another [him] in a minute!!!' learn the lyrics and sing it to yourself everytime you think about your ex. trust me u dont need a good voice, just believe wot ur singing lol.
and remember its his loss not yours
hope this helps
Dojha
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (13 June 2007):
 I don't understand why the title had to state you were gay like that was a dominating factor of the question, but anyway. You realise that you have to move on with your life or the whole thing will just consume you bit by bit, and thats good. You just have to learn to see things from a different view point. Try it this way. Firstly, remind yourself that you're much better off than the both of them and that you deserve better, and believe in it too!
Secondly, if this is not enough to convince you that your ex isn't exactly Mr perfect, then I dont know what will. He cheats behind your back and then got together with you best mate, you should be lucky you got rid of him if anything. It must be dissapointing and depressing to go through what you did, but that should be more of a reason you should hold your head up high. Find comfort in the fact that if your ex can cheat behind your back, he can do it to your best mate as well. And also, if your best mate would do such a thing to you, then he's not much of a mate is he? They both need to learn a thing or two about loyalty and till the day they do, I dont think they will last very long at all, as temptations are always round the corner!
But you move on, and live your life. Live it large and show them both that you can do so much better without them! Work towards it, and when they start to realise how foolish they were, it will already have been too late! Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): It is quite simple to get past this. Go out and find someone new that is far more hot and fabulous than the one you left, with more money or much younger, whichever works out. Be sure to flaunt this fact in the faces of this pair of jerks.
In the future, consider that "just sex" can be exactly that, especially after 14 years, and don't toss a man out for a little on the side. Alternatively, find a virgin and train him right so no one else can possibly match your ability to give him what a man needs. I know, gay virgins are almost an oxymoron, but it does happen. (I found one, 10 years ago. He's gorgeous, sweet, and faithful)
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