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male
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anonymous
writes: I need help, I can't stop masturbating every day, sometimes a few times daily. I'm single and hate it. I've been depressed and I can feel myself slipping back down again as I've just lost my job and so I have nothing.I feel so low and stuck in a rut. I masturbate to feel better but it never lasts long.. guilt after doing it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): Do not worry, I masurbate daily as well as make love to my wife who always has an orgasm. I am 57 years old.
A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (27 October 2005):
 You are stuck in a rut and masturbation has just become an addictive habit that won't do you any harm. When you feel the need to do it again, try to defer for a hour or so and fill your time with something else. Try to restrict it to once a day so it isn't taking over your life and adding to the low moods you are feeling.
Perhaps you could consider some voluntary work that would help you get another job and develop another skill that you could put on your CV. That would take up some of the slack in your time, and although when you are feeling low it is difficult to get up the motivation to do other things, you often feel better once you have made the effort.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 October 2005):
 Well, it all makes sense in a kind of way, doesn't it? You're sad because you've lost your focus in life, having no job means the budget is very tight, so you do something that not only makes you feel better for a while, but costs nothing.
It's really nothing to feel guilty about. After all, who are you hurting? No one. Who feels better afterwards? You.
As I see it, your real problem is being unemployed. That's what put you where you are and that's the source of your unhappiness. Don't worry about the masturbation; that problem (not that it's really a problem) will sort itself out when you have a full-time focus again.
Consider seeing a careers counsellor and find out what sort of job you'd be best at, and what skills you either need to polish up, or acquire to get that kind of work. Get out and get looking for a job, too. That will get you out of the house and keep you from concentrating too much on your own despondency.
Set aside a certain amount of each day to do job hunting. Either get to your Government jobs centre and see what's been posted, or scour the classifieds, or logon to the local jobs site, or work on your resume, or go to courses, all of the above... or whatever. The more points of focus you have, the better your chances to score a job, which will get you out of your rut, and will take your mind off your, erm, other hobby. ;)
Finally, please do remember that it's very common for men to define who they are by the work they do. When, for example, you ask a man "Who are you?", you're likely to get an answer like "I'm Jerry. I'm a carpenter." (You won't often get an answer like "I'm a father and brother. I love model airplanes and I sing in the shower.") So losing your job is a little bit like losing your identity -- and that's a big blow. Give yourself some time to grieve about it and get over it.
Good luck... and don't worry!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 October 2005):
 Come on guy! Buck up! Things can only get better, right? There will be another job if you keep looking. In the mean time, try not to let your hobby "get out of hand"!
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A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (13 October 2005):
Its natural to masturbate and alot of men are in the same shoes as you, as it makes them feel better for a little while.
You need to get advice about beign depressed, onced you have sorted that out and have got a gf then you wont do that so often.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2005): last time i went to see my doctor though all he said was 'is it medical, how can i help?' he really knocked my confidence in the national health system
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A
female
reader, wishes +, writes (13 October 2005):
 First of all, there is nothing to feel guilty about masturbating, almost everyone does it- and if it makes you feel good- why not! Feeling like you are doing something wrong will only make you feel worse. Secondly, I think you need to see someone about your depression. Everyone goes through down stages or finds themselves in a rut from time to time, but it sounds like you are not dealing with it very well. Whether you need to talk to a counsellor (which I would strongly advise) or, you need to go on some medication to get yourself up and feeling a bit better. I think you should go and see a doctor to discuss how you are feeling. Remember to lean on your friends and family for support to. Dont try to push anyone away- I am sure that they will be more than happy to help if you open yourself up. Stay positive, and keep applying for jobs and the right one will eventually come along. Have you thought about starting study? Best Wishesx I hope all goes well for you.
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